Hello. I am a student at the City College of New York, but i want to transfer to Lafeytte.
For context, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD and depression since 10th grade. It’s caused an issue with my family but they have been verbally and emotionally abusive for some time. I’ve also dealt with bullying from my brother and I just want to change things for myself.
I’ve seen Lafyette college and I think it’s a good fit for me. It’s only 1 hour and 30 minutes from my home, the programs are good, and it’s need-based and meets 100%. However, I’m worried because I feel like if my parents see my acceptance letter, they will not let me go even though before when I brought up transferring my mom was supportive because of how I was treated but I don’t really trust her. I’m worried because of how many times I will work hard just for it to go away because of them.
For context, I checked the calculator, and I should be able to pay 7,500 dollars, and Iwant to go for 2 years so in Fall 2027. It’s a low debt even with dorming, but I’m scared because I just want to do better for myself and take a break from this
I’m also doing better and I take virtual therapy. I am also getting evaluated for ADHD. I am an economics major, and I have decent extracurriculars. I am an E-board at my club, a tutor for a school (still looking for placement), a tutor for home kids, I plan to do art commissions and game art, and I plan to take care of my siblings and house more often to look responsible and for the stuff I will add to my application.
What’s your GPA? (Are you in the Honors program at City)?
What classes have you taken so far?
What was your HS GPA? Did you take the SAT/ACT while in HS?
Are you a freshman rising sophomore now, applying this Fall?
You could apply to several “meet-need” universities beside Lafayette - there must be some within a 2-houe radius (which I don’t think parents would object to, it’s really close, they’d easily be able to come in case of an emergency).
My GPA is 3.2, but that was because I was struggling with some things back then. I can manage myself now, and I’m hoping to get a 3.6 based on what I did with my grade and what could help.
I’ve taken Principles of Microeconomics, Introductory to Italian, Special Topics in Women’s Studies (LGBTQ) 29100, Elements of Calculus 20500, and my fall is Principles of Macroeconomics, Principles of Management, Freshman Composition, Introduction to Philosophy, and Introductory to Italian 2. This fall I’m taking Modern Europe, Intermediate Macroeconomics, Intermediate Italian, Game Aesthetics, Writing for the Social Sciences. Game Aesthetics is to help me get into UX UI for games because I want to do my masters on something based on it for NYU IDM. I think I should switch it.
I’m a sophomore in Fall 2026. I did take the SAT but I don’t want to submit that.
I’ve thought about that but the applications are expensive, but I will do more research. Lafayette just feels right for me.
I’m an adult, I know I can just leave them because of how long I’ve dealt with this, but I’m worried because it’s a big decision, and I feel selfish if I did.
But my parents have a habit of saying yes to things and then saying no when it actually happens. It’s annoying and I don’t know what to do. I know they’ll do this out of fear, but they’ll do anything to stop it. I also deal with their friends telling me to follow their path. They even have a friend who did computer science at my school and just says that everyone should do it at that school just because it worked for him, and I have a feeling he’ll call this unrealistic. Honestly, it sucks because my parents don’t know much about college education in the US because they’re from Bangladesh, so they’ll take his advice since he’s from the same community and graduated here, except his only advice is always just do computer science at CCNY, he doesn’t take in the fact that there are other options and just says one thing because it worked for him. Mostly just stuff I do not being taken seriously or just being talked down on.
I want advice on what I could do so that if I do get in I can actually go instead of people pressuring me to give up.
I truly feel for your situation. You have described your family situation and the pain it has caused you so well.
If the cost works out to be $7500 per year with room & board, will you be able to cover that with federal loans or are federal loans included in the award described by the calculator?
That looks encouraging. The federal student loan program allows a maximum of $7500 to be borrowed each year in junior and senior years. You don’t have to start paying back the loan until 6 months after graduation.
The reason I asked about this loan program is because you expressed a concern about being selfish. If the loan is not included in Lafayette’s package - which it appears not to be, although that still needs to be verified - then all of your costs of attendance at Lafayette will be covered without any contribution from your parents. You would be able to cover the cost of books and other expenses with earnings from a summer job.
So, the bottom line is that Lafayette appears to be cheaper than the cost of attendance at City College. So, I don’t see how this is in any way selfish. It is a good plan!
Second is the issue of you being an adult, which you mentioned in your post. It’s more than just being that as an adult, you can leave them if you want. The issue is that this is your life. No one else’s. If you are going to be successful and productive, you must make your own decisions, call your own shots, choose your own path. There is no other way. You can’t live someone else’s life. Many of us who were raised by old world parents - not just Bangladeshi - have had to confront this same issue and make this same break with ties from the past. But it must be done. It is not selfish in a negative sense; it is being self-reliant.
Can you explain what you wrote on second paragraph. That they will cover for me. Also, the college I attend is free for me to attend and I get money back, which I am grateful for, but like I said, this is a choice due to my family (I love my school and my friends there, I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t need to worry about my family).
With regard to the 2nd paragraph, the award posted shows an $86,500 award from Lafayette in the form of grants, leaving a cost of $7532 for you and your family. Correct?
I’m suggesting that this cost can be covered by a federal student loan, which you can borrow on your own at no cost to your family.
I hadn’t realized that CCNY is currently free for you, so it’s basically swapping one no cost situation for your parents for another. They actually save money by not having to feed you 8 months a year.
Yeah it’s correct. Thank you for telling me. So you can just apply for federal loans just as long as they don’t exceed anything? This sounds good since I would just pay 32 dollars.
You have to file FAFSA to access the federal student loans.
So, both you and your parents need to fill out FAFSA and CSS Profile to access the financial aid that Lafayette projects. Will your parents complete FAFSA and CSS Profile for Lafayette, or whatever school you transfer to?