Honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel completely trapped at a school that’s all wrong for me, and the worst part is I can’t transfer because my parents won’t let me. We’re full-pay, so they have this rigid idea that I can only go to another school if it’s Ivy League or “top-tier” because ROI is extremely important (immigrant parents, don’t even know value of top LACs), but they didn’t even tell me this until months after all my decisions came in. Now I’m here, completely miserable, stuck at a school that doesn’t align with my needs in any way.
When I was applying, my parents pushed me to apply to schools like BU, NYU, and others. I got into most of them and honestly liked them a lot. But once I was accepted to those schools, they refused to consider them because they didn’t think they were worth the price. It felt like they had me apply to these schools, but when it came down to it, they wouldn’t let me go because they didn’t think the cost justified it and it made me angry because filling the applications alone took so much time. I felt I’d been misled, as I had the expectation that they would be able to afford it and they’d never said anything.
But here’s the thing: going to an Ivy would have dumped a lot of student loans on us. They were willing to take on a massive mortgage for a house but not for my education. Honestly, it feels selfish. They didn’t save for college, thinking it would disqualify us from financial aid—even though we don’t even stand to get any. They just made terrible financial decisions, all while convincing me to follow their vision of success.
Of course, before, they forced me into ED1 for an Ivy League school, fully knowing we couldn’t afford it. I got rejected. Instead of seeing that as a sign to recalibrate, they doubled down. They just kept saying, “We’ll figure out the money somehow.” No plan, no backup. Just vague hope. They also never admitted that even if they could “figure [it] out,” they’d only willingly pay for an ivy because in their eyes, the ROI was worth it, which I realized as they started to insinuate that schools weren’t worth it…anyone full-pay was ridiculous…pushing me to pull my first-choice (ED2)… constantly talking about places I received merit that I openly told them I didn’t like.
By April, after all my decisions came in, they told me they’d take the difference between what I’d pay for my state flagship and what I’d pay for those private schools, and give it to me as a down payment on a house in some ten years. I was floored. I didn’t even know how to respond, especially when they admitted they had no clue how to come up with the $160K needed (and my sibling will be attending college in 8 years and they’re happy to go full-pay for him if he gets into MIT). It felt like they were bluffing and guilt-tripping me into staying at this school. And now, I’m stuck here, at a school that feels completely wrong for me.
The campus is huge, and I feel like I’m lost in a sea of people. I’m social, but at times I can be introverted/quiet and I’ve always favored the smaller schools I got into (Emory, Vanderbilt) but I also like culturally diverse places, which it is not. Everyone has their own friend groups, and I can’t seem to find my place. People in my grade that went to the school with me aren’t the nicest (or academically-inclined – I know this a bold comment). I’ve joined social/cultural clubs, but I’m having a hard time. People here seem so closed off, like they already have their circles, and I’m left trying to fit in. When I tell people where in my state I’m from when they ask, they immediately think I’m with them because I did terribly in high school. It’s frustrating watching everyone else connect so easily while I’m stuck feeling isolated.
I’m aiming for investment banking, but this school doesn’t offer the same opportunities or connections as schools like UMich/NYU/BU (where I got into) would have. Doing an MBA down the road is something I don’t want to do financially & professionally. I’ve tried joining every finance club, every pre-professional group, but it’s just not the same. I’m not building the connections I need. The professors are fine, but the learning feels so impersonal. The networking opportunities just aren’t there – I told a family friend who was in the industry where I’m going and he laughed and bluntly said no one was going to look at my resume. I can’t even double major (it must be a dual degree) outside the business school so there’s a lack of a safety net. Outside of the “career complaints,” (sorry!) it’s a really rural area, and I grew up in the NYC metropolitan area. I can’t drive so there’s not much to do and it’s tough to even get around campus at times. There is severe lack of spirit and not even the collegiate “sports experience” you’d get at other flagships hardly make up for it.
What’s worse is that I feel completely left behind. My classmates, who were also full-pay (I was one of few in the entire grade who had to worry about financial/merit aid), got to apply ED wherever they wanted—and got in. Now, they’re mostly at better schools full-pay, getting the internships and connections that will set them up for the future. And I’m stuck at a school that doesn’t even come close to the opportunities they’re getting. It’s hard not to feel bitter because they can afford EDing even with lower “stats” and less ECs when I was at the top 5% of my class.
I’ve seen mental health counselors both here on campus and privately, but nothing changes the fact that I’m at a school I don’t belong at. I’ve tried everything—joined groups, sought help when I needed it—but it just doesn’t feel like enough. I’m frustrated and unsure of how to move forward.
Apologies, for the long, long post 
Any advice? I’m thinking of transferring, but again its ivy or bust with parents and they said they won’t pay (I’ll have to pick up private student loans) if I go anywhere else.
