<p>I started a new thread because the old thread was inadvertently high jacked by me…lol…my son transferred schools in the 9th grade which required a 50 mile round trip to school everyday…half way through his 9th grade year, he got his drivers license …i decided to buy the safest truck on the road, via consumer reports, for him to drive…2007 Toyota Tundra Crew Cab…side, front, roof and backseat airbags…the only vehicle like it on the road at the time…the problem was with the power of the truck…zero to 60 in no time flat…power is safer when passing once one has driving experience but our son had little experience driving alone making speed a liability…therefore I installed a GPS system in the truck before I ever gave it to him to monitor his speed and picked a plan to monitor the truck once a minute…my son was given the truck with the stipulation that I expected him to drive 60 mph but, under no circumstances, was he to ever exceed 65 mph…he agreed…i told him that I have many friends who are highway patrolmen and they have assured me that they will be looking for him and reporting to me about his driving…furthermore, i was not wanting my son in another 16 year old’s car because I would not have a clue as to what was going on…therefore provided unlimited gas and a really good sound system to boot… occasionally, he would creep above the 65 mph and I would tell him that I was informed by a highway patrolman friend that he was exceeding 65mph but not enough to warrant a ticket…I told him that if he continued to go over 65 mph that I would install a speed tracker in his truck so I would be aware of his speed all the time…he continued to exceed 65 mph once every 3 or 4 days…I talked to him about trust and my request that he drive 60 mph and he assured me that he was honoring that request…one night i clicked on the sight and he was going 83 mph on a back road just cruising (i have no problem with cruising, just speed)…I immediately called him on the cell phone and told him to slow down…lol…he freaked out telling me how he was going to disconnect the device, etc …i told him that would be fine with me, but the truck is staying in the garage unless the device is working …he asked me if I knew where he was too and i said no (shoot me, I lied) I told him that a tracker had been embedded in the wheel of his truck while he was at camp …I said the tracker relayed the speed through a satellite that allows me to set a max speed…I told him that the company would call me immediately if the speed was exceeded…I told him that starting tomorrow if the company calls me and you are over 65 mph you will lose your truck for a day and your mother will carry you to school and come pick you up after school…he asked why I couldn’t trust him and said how unfair it was and how none of his friends had to endure this, blah, blah, blah…I reminded him of our agreement and the talks on trust we had and how he was the one responsible for breaking the trust, not his parents…maybe some of you see the parents as breaking the trust by installing the GPS tracker in the first place…IOO the GPS device is one of our verifications…trust and verify…he would test us and lose his truck a day every so often…finally, i told him that we paid the $27,000 for the truck and we paid all the gas, insurance, tag, etc. and that if he was so spoiled that he could not drive the speed I asked then i would sell the truck and we will wait a year and try again…he drove 60 mph for about 6 months and now drives just under 65 mph…he is now 18.5 years old and has not gone over 65 mph in 21 months…the novelty of the truck or any other vehicle is gone now…he is a much better driver now and his odds of survival have improved…I also sent him to Bondurant Racing School to improve his driving skills (high speed turns, hydroplaning, uncontrolled skids, etc)…he wore a helmet the entire time…he also had 5 hours of ground school…I highly recommend the GPS as a help to verification…</p>
<p>You used the word “Trust” 8 times. But you were as honest with him as he was with you.</p>
<p>Why lie to him?</p>
<p>Although not the original intended use of the GPS tracking system, we were able to see where our son was while checking his speed…he had one month left in the 9th grade when he begin using the truck…around the spring of the 10th grade we begin to notice to notice that he was driving into a section of town he had no business being in and stop for 5 minutes or so and then drive to the levee where he slowed down to around 5 mph and stayed on the levee in the middle of nowhere for 30 minutes or so and then go on back to town…we took note of this and noticed it happening several more times…I ordered several drug testing kits and checked his urine after one of his slow rides on the levee…positive marijuana…prior to this, I had many conversations with my son about the perils of any drug, including marijuana, and I was assured by him that I could trust him not to partake…I had told him that i would trust him and give him plenty of space until he gave me a reason to doubt him…we grounded him for one week and took away all electronics, truck, cell phone…everything but books and keyboards…we told him if there was a next time we would ground him for 2 or 3 weeks, maybe more…he assured us that he had learned his lesson and it would never happen again…several months went by and we noticed him in the same location in the bad neighborhood followed by a slow drive on the levee…a few days later i asked him how he was handling things when drugs were around… he reassured us that he had learned his lesson and that he would leave that to everyone else…he said he did not like it anyway… he was very convincing, not batting an eye…a few days later, the whole routine repeated itself…i told him that a friend of mine thought he had spotted his truck in so and so neighborhood and asked him if it was indeed his truck and if so what was he doing there…he assured me that my friend had made a mistake and that he had never been to that neighborhood…I said i hoped so because there was only one reason to be in that neighborhood and we will not tolerate it…I asked if I could trust him to never buy marijuana and he assured me that he would not do that… a few days later, same thing…i called him on the phone and persuaded him to come home under false pretenses and drug tested him…positive marijuana …grounded two weeks…this happened two other times and he was grounded 3 weeks each time…after the second 3 week grounding, we told him that if he tested positive again that we were going to rock his world as he knew it to be… I told him I would sell his truck and his mother or I would be taking him to school and picking him up for the rest of his high school days…we told him his cell phone would be disconnected, his x-box and TV sold and anything else that we could think of…we were dead serious and he knew it…fast forward…we have randomly drug tested him over over 12 times and I believe he is drug free…I also know who he was hanging out with back then and who he hanging out with now…where he was going then and where he is going now… and that is further confirmation to us that he is drug free…will he smoke pot again…honestly, i would be shocked if he did not…however, he will be more mature then than he was 2 years ago…in the future the consequences will not come from his parents but from society…my son has been accepted to a top 50 university and, regardless of his major, he is planning to take the prerequisites to med school…he thinks a career as some type surgeon is something that he wants to pursue…I have told him that drinking responsibly and in moderation is acceptable but that he would be better off without drinking…i told him that unlike alcohol, marijuana stays with you…if you smoke weed frequently, your mind will not be as sharp, you will calculate slower, you will recall less information from your brain on demand…you will not be able to compete with those who take the clean route…furthermore, your reputation will be damaged and possibly prevent positive letters of recommendations to med school…marijuana or any other drug is just not worth it… drugs will steal your dreams and rob you of your self esteem…drugs are enticing, sexy and sustainable for several years…drugs can captivate you…by the time you come out of it (if you come out)you will find yourself in a land of limited opportunity in many career fields…</p>
<p>Smile, your posts would be a whole lot easier to read if you inserted paragraphs.</p>
<p>Sentences would help, too.</p>
<p>You used the word “Trust” 8 times. But you were as honest with him as he was with you.</p>
<p>Why lie to him? I assume that my second post answered your question. </p>
<p>Smile, your posts would be a whole lot easier to read if you inserted paragraphs. </p>
<p>i am sorry. i will do that from now on.</p>
<p>Smile, you rock as a parent. I predict that your very lucky S will take a similar stand with his own children many years down the road. Too many parents are clueless and spineless when it comes to discipline. Discipline is teaching, and you are doing a fine job. Who cares if you made up a white lie? Better than the usual parent, which goes something like: I keep telling him not to do… but nothing works! Have you taken away the car, phone, video games, allowance, the door of the bedroom, or even anything at all? Well, no, but he gets so upset…</p>
<p>You get the picture. Keep up the good work. And I don’t care about the paragraphs. ;)</p>
<p>You are saving several lives here–83 miles an hour! wow!</p>
<p>Wonder if there are devices that help identify a driver falling asleep. One of DS’s best friends was killed on Friday while on a long drive to FL when the driver nodded off, swerved, and flipped the car.</p>
<p>I remember I was driven in a car – we were doing a roadtrip to various national parks and it was me, a BF & a guy who was a friend of hers. The guy was driving & said that the reason those bars are on the side of the road was so they would hum when the driver fell asleep! We stopped letting have a turn driving after that & it was just me & BF taking turns. We felt so fortunate that he told us he thought it was just fine to fall asleep behind the wheel so we could be sure he was never again behind the wheel when we had the power to prevent it.</p>
<p>We do count our blessings! :)</p>
<p>It is amazing what info you can obtain from various gadgets these days–truly remarkable. I hope your S continues to “toe the line” and keep himself safe so he can enjoy a great life! He must really think you all are quite chummy with highway patrol.</p>
<p>It is amazing to read about different lifestyles and choices that other families make. Glad it seems things are working well.</p>
<p>
Hopefully he didn’t answer the cell while he was driving - cell phone distraction is one of the more dangerous aspects of driving nowadays for those who permit it to distract them (i.e. answer it while driving or otherwise use it).</p>
<p>he did answer it and the next minute update he was on 55 mph.
I suppose it was the best choice of two bad choices
83 mph is not the top speed that I clocked. I clocked 105 miles per hour on “one” of the minute updates. The minute before and after were below 65 mph.
** I saw** where he was at the time and it was a long 4 lane straight away that usually had sparse traffic.
** I let** that slid, believe it or not, because I knew he had to punch it one time to see what it would do. I did tell him later that a farmer friend of mine had seen his truck flying down the road and said he looked to be doing 100 mph or better.
** After denying** it for several minutes, he finally admitted that he wanted to see what the truck would do. I told him to never do it again.
One other time he hit 95 mph on another open straight away for “one” click. I never told him that I saw that one. However, I did have another long talk about what can go wrong at high speeds. Both of these instances were prior to me telling him I had implanted a device in his wheel.
As to his whereabouts concerning the drugs, I had to allow several minor acts of disobedience slide (unrelated to drugs) to avoid raising suspicion
My #1 goal is to keep him alive
everything else is secondary</p>
<p>HE has to realize that it’s HIS responsibility, not yours, not someones else’s, to drive safely and at the speed limit. As long as YOU are the ONLY one worrying, and he is not suffering any consequences other than Dad calling and saying SLOW DOWN, you are delaying his maturity and his ability to learn from the consequences of his own actions and decisions. Calling him and telling him to slow down is NOT a consequence that will change his driving habits. If you want to teach him a lesson, then you tell him you WILL take away the car keys when he drives over a certain speed. Period. For 3 months. The next infraction is 6 months. Letting him continue to drive is irresponsible on YOUR part and puts other people at risk, not just your son. AND, if he did get in an accident, and it was disclosed that you were monitoring his speeding , but did NOTHING ABOUT IT, you would be just as liable as your son for any dam ages, injuries or deaths, since you had clearly abdicated your parental responsibility to take the keys away from a knowingly unsafe minor driver… Other peoples lives are JUST as important as your son’s life.</p>
<p>lol…you obviously did not take the time to read the post. furthermore, how do you know how fast your children are driving? My child was 16 at the time. Expecting him to be responsible is a very poor plan. My son is now 18.5</p>
<p>he is not a minor, nor is it my problem how fast he is driving- its his problem, as it will be your son’s problem when he is in college and out of your control. he drives fast, he gets a ticket, he pays for it , out of his own pocket. If he doesn’t want to pay for speeding tickets, then he wont speed. His problem,caused entirely by his actions, not mine.</p>
<p>[GPS</a> Vehicle, Fleet, and Teen Tracking Systems](<a href=“http://www.gpstechnologies.net/]GPS”>http://www.gpstechnologies.net/)</p>
<p>[Bondurant</a> Racing School of High Performance Driving](<a href=“http://www.bondurant.com/]Bondurant”>http://www.bondurant.com/)</p>
<p>“I let that slid, believe it or not, because I knew he had to punch it one time to see what it would do.”
You KNEW he HAD TO PUNCH IT??? Guess, what he didn’t have to punch it, but he KNEW he could get away with it because of your " boys will be boys" attitude.
Is it any wonder he speeds, with this kind of irresponsible unspoken encouragement on your part that encourages/ justifies speeding?? Since when is a "wink wink"encouragement of speeding “just this once” to “see what she can do” not inconsistent with your “don’t speed” message? Mixed, messages , with double meanings don’t get through to teenagers.
Unbelievable…</p>
<p>**he is not a minor, nor is it my problem how fast he is driving- its his problem, as it will be your son’s problem when he is in college and out of your control. he drives fast, he gets a ticket, he pays for it , out of his own pocket. If he doesn’t want to pay for speeding tickets, then he wont speed. His problem,caused entirely by his actions, not mine. **</p>
<p>Seriously, have you read my post? My son has not been over the speed limit in his truck in 21 months and he has never had a speeding ticket. I am not guessing about this, I know this. I did not wait for the highway patrolmen to get his attention…I got his attention. Waiting for your child to get enough tickets to decide to slow down is “putting other peoples lives in danger”. You are apparently willing to do this. I am not.</p>
<p>teenagers don’t need to take lessons at high speed tracks to become good , safe drivers…</p>
<p>**teenagers don’t need to take lessons at high speed tracks to become good , safe drivers… **</p>
<p>where did I say that was required to be a good driver? That post (with the web sights listed) was not meant for you. I put those sights out because of PMs I’ve been getting. Most boys will be boys and that is where the saying came from. </p>
<p>but he KNEW he could get away with it because of your " boys will be boys" attitude. </p>
<p>He did not know I let it slid, only I knew. I would never let him know that I knew</p>
<p>do you have any boys?</p>