I’m sorry that has been your experience. I worry about his conservative AL is in general (and would NOT want my liberal daughter there). Are you still in school? Maybe a school like GA Tech or Virginia Tech might be a better fit?
Hey, I’m OP of the post they tagged. I’m happy to PM if you want, or I can respond here!
Whether GA tech or VT tech would be a better fit is a whole different conversation if she’s equally likely to be able to get into and afford those as she is Bama–is she? She almost definitely is not, no matter how smart or accomplished she is. Unless she already got into both? Sorry I haven’t read the whole thread.
Yes I’m still in school! I’m a freshman, so I only have about a semester of experience
1 Like
Absolutely not VA Tech without an in school
Campus visit.
Full disclosure I do not have a kid that rushed a sorority or fraternity… but most of my friends kids did at various southern schools. One thing about college is that whether one is in the Greek system or not … drinking, partying, and poor decisions happen. From my friends with boys many said NOT to join leadership in a fraternity. Unfortunately, a few friends boys got caught up in some situations at frat events, and even if the leadership is not directly involved in the crime or issue they are often included in the lawsuit. Also I agree with the poster up thread… the National Fraternity Organization is all about protecting itself. The local chapters are many times left out to dry. Finally, once a young man has pledged it is very difficult to drop out; something to think about.
For anyone wanting a crazy, but true, story, I recommend the book Among the Bros, A Fraternity Crime Story by Max Marshall. It happened at CoC. Not the best written book, but it provides a lot of insight into southern frats.
It’s a good enough story that you and your son could both read it and perhaps talk about it. Not just the crime part!
1 Like
My very northern/international son graduated UVA a few years back. There are other paths for a tight community. He considered rush, but instead joined the Jefferson Society in the autumn as a first year. It is a rigorous selection, but he loved the process. Later, as he craved variety in addition to the constant Friday night socials, he branched out and supplemented it with a few other groups that I won’t name to protect his identity. He attended fraternity parties as a guest occasionally as well. It may also be possible that he cannot confirm or deny having had something to do with the 7s or the Zs or the IMPs or some other such group…
My daughter did join a sorority at her school, also in the south. It was quite helpful as a freshman to find a social path and feel connection. But she felt that she had outgrown it by junior year. She never officially withdrew, but she just went quiet. Paid minimum dues but didn’t attend much. Not hostile in any way, just unnecessary for her at that point.
I don’t think it is the end of the world if your son joins a fraternity. He then has the option to be one the good guys on the floor and make sure the place is inclusive and safe.
Not everyone is looking for Animal House. But a few always will. Hopefully, your kid gives those kids a wide berth. And the comment about not taking a leadership position is spot on. Would you take a board seat at an organization that had questionable safety practices, particularly without D & O insurance?
3 Likes
Just to let all the non-Greek parents know, “frat” is considered an offensive term in the Greek system.
6 Likes
It wasn’t at my university (EVERYONE called them frats, frat row, frat houses, etc) do you mean at UA specifically?
3 Likes
There are so many fine universities in the north and upper midwest that why would parents that are on the political left want to send their students down south. With the exception of auto-merit, the fairly conservative viewpoints at the southern universities are a primary draw to the big SEC/ACC state schools. Most of them score high in the Princeton Review Most Conservative rankings.
As a strong right political person, I am in the distinct minority in this forum, but UA is even a little southern for me, I couldn’t imagine being from the northeast (I left NY when I was 10 for a partially southern state).
1 Like
Many of my male friends were in a fraternity and none of us used the word frat. I can see maybe Frat Row at certain schools, but probably what the school or non-Greeks say. Most fraternity members would use another phrase.
1 Like
Money
Football
Weather
I think most kids are a political.
They are going to school for school, parties, sports/fun, etc.
It’s not the majority of kids who are political. That’s definitely overplayed here.
3 Likes
That must be school-specific. I attended an SEC flagship and that was standard slang and not at all offensive. My D attends a mid-Atlantic LAC and they say “frats” as well (and funny enough, “srats”, which was new to me).
I’m not arguing and happy you brought that to attention that some places don’t find the term acceptable. I’m just surprised as I’ve never heard that before.
Sidenote: My D did inform me that “GDI” is offensive and I should say “independents”. Oops.
3 Likes
Please keep in mind that at many universities the black fraternities (Kappa Alpha Psi, Omega Psi Phi, etc.) are not part of IFC due to hazing and non-student members. Those black students not in IFC would certainly bring the numbers of reported black fraternity members down, as most universities only report IFC members in their reporting.
Maybe times have changed
1 Like
I would never say GDI to someone’s face. I could see this generation retiring GDI.
Oh, they definitely have. I got in trouble (with my D)!
I had a lot of non-Greek friends when I was in college and they all called themselves that. It was tongue-in-cheek. In fact, I pledged late and called myself that before pledging. I would never have (intentionally) called anyone anything they found offensive. We were a very non-PC bunch back in pre-historic times. 
Sorry to get off topic.
Money, Football and Weather are a great draw. Glad it has worked out for you and child.
With Covid lockdowns and Hamas protests, I couldn’t see sending our kids to a school east of Pitt or north of UVA. We wrote off the three west coast states long before Covid.
6 Likes
My very left lefty is at Clemson, she loves it. One day she called me to tell me she finally met a gay male student (she was so excited, I was like why is this news?) During the election she voted differently than many of her friends, they’d joke with her to vote red, she just laughed and said of course not. She’s coming back here in May after graduation, will start working in July, she loved her experience with a different culture (and learned how to shoot a shotgun). She did find northern friends to go to Mass with. ETA we didn’t send her, she researched the schools she wanted to apply to, she was an adult, not a summer camper. Our only concern was cost.
1 Like
My son went for the dorm (single room), pristine campus and distance to mom. Not for the reasons I noted.
But I have college friends who are heading south - I went in NY. It’s for those three reasons.
Most kids - I’m not talking the cc kid but real society, don’t make those decisions at 17 with a political lens. And I’d say the same about many parents.
And they see prior years going south. Parents see loans not needed.
It’s like a Hurricane. It grows.
My son had different reasons but I’m talking about society as a whole.
We aren’t talking about kids who get miffed because the sandwich shop uses the wrong brand of mayonnaise or other “regional” quirks. You live in a very privileged bubble if you don’t have to worry about your kid having access to medically necessary procedures or pharmaceuticals. Read what’s going on.
I’m going to assume that if your D discovered that she had an ectopic pregnancy, regardless of where she was living at the time, you’d move heaven and earth to get her treatment before she died of sepsis. You think folks aren’t making decisions based on health care? Do you know any OB-Gyn’s-- anywhere in the country- especially those who specialize in high risk pregnancies? I’m amazed that your college aged kid isn’t more attuned to what’s happening to young women in parts of the country.
13 Likes