<p>jym626-what about " ____of the month" clubs? My DH is all about smoking and grilling and D wants to get him BBQ sauce of the month. These are mostly local ones you can’t find nationwide, and he’s already ordered some through various sites as he tweaks his own recipe. He bought his own “beer of the month” and enjoys that. You can pick how many months you want to do and there’s a club for almost everything.</p>
<p>@jym626 Just ordered The Innovators! Thx for the idea :)</p>
<p>Me too! 2 copies - one for S and one for D. </p>
<p>@jym626 – I just ordered The Innovators and this for my 15 year old. Older son and husband may read them also, but 15 year old will enjoy.
<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544272994/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER”>http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0544272994/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER</a></p>
<p>Heard Isaacson speak about the book at a book festival last week. Very enjoyable. </p>
<p>Yes!! Another gift done. Thanks @CT1417 Keep the suggestions coming!!</p>
<p>G I should get a commission from Isaacson!
Sseamom,
I’ll look into the ---- of the month club options. The best gift I ever got for both my husband and my son was a sampling of salts from around the world. They came in 11 test tubes in a rack. They both loved it.</p>
<p>I really loved the CD that D made for H, with music she loves that she thinks H loves. When we listen to it, it makes her seem closer. Those types of gifts require time and effort but few $$$$. I wish I could get something like this from S one day, but unlikely he would do anything similar. He’s a very private person and is careful about what he reveals, when and to whom.</p>
<p>Because of this thread, I did mention to D (who happens to be home) that we don’t want her and S to take us for granted. She reassured me that she DOES cherish us and gave us LOTS of hugs.</p>
<p>Articulating our feelings helps us be better understood. I recall breaking up with a BF when I was in law school because he did not acknowledge my birthday at all–that was my sign that our relationship had ended.</p>
<p>DH made a cd for me a few years ago. Love it. </p>
<p>This thread is making me feel guilty about how I treat own mom. I call her on the special days, but don’t always send a gift. She is the best, my rock. She won’t be around forever. I should do more. </p>
<p>FWIW she had a serious talk with one of my brothers about how he didn’t call her back quickly enough. Her point was that she loved him and worried about him. If he was busy, he could just say he was busy and they could talk more later, but he should return calls. So I guess if she wanted me to do more she would tell me. </p>
<p>^^^Not necessarily. Why don’t you send her something “just because.” Flowers or a food item you know she’ll enjoy. It really is knowing that your kids are thinking of you fondly once in awhile that matters, and going to the trouble to actually send something is one way of showing that. </p>
<p>“And…I think most men would put Touch as their love language…haha!”</p>
<p>Haha … but I think there is truth to that, as women don’t want to be involved that way unless they’re already feeling close, whereas for men they see that as a way of forging / fostering closeness. I’m overgeneralizing wildly here, of course. </p>
<p>It may not even be sexual touch, though. It can be other physical expression - holding hands, rubbing someone’s back, “spooning” when going to sleep, etc. </p>
<p>Funny, this book about the 5 love languages just came up in conversation yesterday. The person I was talking to said she always felt like her H’s handmaiden, with all the tasks he barked orders at her to do. Now she thinks its because he wants love shown through acts of service. Personally he still sounds like a bit of a domineering guy, but if this is a way for her to reframe it so its more palatable for her, well, whatever works.</p>
<p>My mom likes getting big fancy cards. She displays them for her friends to see. It’s her way of letting people know that her children care about her. I didn’t know that before, but I do understand why it’s important to her, so she gets a very large card from me.</p>
<p>PG, you’re right about the Touch love language not being about sex. Your language is not about what you enjoy, but what makes you feel deeply loved. I enjoy getting gifts and being hugged, but what makes me feel loved is words. OTOH, my DH’s love language is acts of service. He enjoys verbal expressions from me. But last weekend when I saw him working on a backyard project, and went out to help – that made him feel loved.</p>
<p>Well and actually the language that you like to give isn’t necessarily the language you like to receive. My friend who takes gift-giving to artistic levels to show people that she cares – she doesn’t necessarily care about receiving gifts herself.</p>
<p>Right. Learning your loved ones’ love languages means you can give them love in the way that means the most to them, and also that you can hear the message they’re sending you, even if it’s not sent in your own native language. BTW, my D’s language is physical touch. When I figured that out, it suddenly made sense that every time she walked by, she’d give me a hip bump, or an arm poke. Even in college, when we were watching TV, she’d curl up with me and want her hair stroked.</p>
<p>Lasma, my H went through a stage about 15 years ago, where he uncharacteristically was writing missives of love, making coffee cups with my photo and otherwise being VERY expressive, which frankly started freakng me out and I had to ask him to tone it down.</p>
<p>Which apparently snapped him to his senses, and he resumed his typical pattern of just signing birthday cards with his name & date. ;)</p>
<p>Growing up, my family was not demonstrative at all, I suspect every one of us was on the spectrum- at least none of us had good social skills, although that didn’t mean we didn’t feel deeply.
Actually the contrary, my dad died from depression while we were all kids, and I think the reason why we kept ourselves wrapped in a buffer, for protection.</p>
<p>I’m still horrible at expressing how I feel to my kds. It comes out wrong and they think I don’t think they wre brillant wonderful amazing people.</p>
<p>There’s a SALT sampler?? I must find this! I use very little salt but I definitely can tell the differences in the various kinds. Using it is a special treat for me so this sampler sounds so interesting.</p>
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