<p>How do you handle unappreciative gift recipients? I have a relative who has done two things that I find really irritating in the past three years:</p>
<p>1 - just announced on Facebook to the world that some gifts that we bought for her 4 year old daughter were unappreciated, and that she really hates the gifts as well. She found them to be pretty much stupid. (The gifts were given 3 or 4 years ago) (he gifts were books, and the author died yesterday, which is why she brought the subject up on Facebook). </p>
<p>2 - looks up the prices of the gifts that my wife and I buy. A couple years ago, she was unhappy with the price of the gift (too low) so she told us (through mother in law) that we needed to return them and buy more expensive gifts.</p>
<p>Is this wrong for me to decide to leave her off of our shopping list in the future? What would you do?</p>
<p>If you don’t leave her and her family off your guest list going forward, I will personally give you what for!</p>
<p>I am absolutely confident that you could find someone who would use and appreciate gifts, especially children’s books. Perhaps you should make donations in her name to a daycare center or after school program that serves kids who aren’t in a position to complain about gifts. Or adopt a class in a less-affluent school and donate books to the classroom library. Surely she would appreciate that. (Not!!)</p>
<p>Yes, I would stop buying for that person and anyone in her family. I can’t believe she said something like that on Facebook–is she really that clueless? WOW.</p>
<p>No, not wrong to cross them off your list though I feel so sorry for the kid .
But your two examples are second hand --facebooking that one didn’t care for an author’s books (did she really use the word “stupid”?) is opinion. And your MIL’s second hand info to you is suspect–is your MIL that crass to even say something like that to you?</p>
<p>a few years ago my SIL ‘bought’ a water buffalo from Heifer for all the neices & nephews for Christmas. I was perfectly fine with this, as my kids have enought stuff, although I know a few of my in-laws weren’t happy. (S1 was unhappy, but I told him to suck it up. D1 was OK, as she has been to the Heifer farm in MA and likes the organization).</p>
<p>Did the relative simply say on Facebook that she didn’t care for the (now dead) author? Or did she say she had received gifts of the author’s books in the past from someone and didn’t appreciate the gifts and didn’t like the author? What I’m saying is, if it was the first situation, maybe she doesn’t even remember you gave her books by that author.</p>
<p>In the second instance, what precisely did she say to your mother-in-law? Why would your mother-in-law repeat something her own daughter said that was so catty? Any theories?</p>
<p>Yes. She made a specific reference that my wife had bought the gifts and that neither she nor her daughter enjoyed them. Since this was immediately after she complained about how she hated the author and the books, it was made clear that neither of them received any joy from the books.</p>
<p>I would pick up the phone and just suggest politely that we would rather no longer exchange gifts. This way, if she buys gifts for you and/or members in your immediate household it won’t be awkward. I would not start a war over the FB comment, but I have relatives who would pick up the phone and get into a heated discussion aobut something like that. If she inquires as to why you would no longer like to exchange gifts, then you can just say that you noted on FB the gifts given in the past were not appreciated.</p>
<p>I would just write, “good to know,” under the post on facebook, and then I would still send a gift, of my choosing, to the child in question, because I don’t stop gifting family kids just because their parents are total idiots. (takes a village, and all that)</p>
<p>But, I wouldn’t send gifts to the offensive adult, anymore, and I wouldn’t even bother to explain why.</p>
<p>I have frequently given book gifts to children I wanted to have those books. Even if the parents are unappreciative. Even if the children don’t end up liking them. At least I know the children had access to books I felt were maybe potentially useful to them.</p>
<p>to number 1: Regarding the author’s books (I am assuming we are talking about the Berenstain Bears -I can’t tell you how much I loathe them - can’t stand the illustrations, the family roles, the didacticism), I suspect your relative forgot you had given them to her. So I’d cut her some slack there. When my kids got given these books I tossed them - I’d wouldn’t even give them to the library bookstore. But of course I always smiled and thanked the people who gave these books to me. I do know others who feel the same way about these books as I do BTW. Oops read on and she specifically mentioned your wife, okay she’s an idiot.</p>
<p>However number 2, is unforgivable so you have my permission to stop giving presents. :)</p>
<p>PS I also think you should unfriend this person on Facebook.</p>
<p>I have a problem with family members who don’t acklowledge gifts I buy , so I have decided that I just won’t do it anymore. I realize that the art of sending a thank you note is becoming extinct , but at least some shout out via email, a call or EVEN FB !!
The children will not know the difference in my family because they barely know me
It’s another thing entirely to be disrespectful enough to post disdain for a gift for the world to see…how rude
My kids all loved Berenstein Bear books…I think we have every one :)</p>
<p>oh, yeah, and that: I personally loved the Berenstein Bears books. Kids take their que from the adults. If the adults are not enthusiastic, then they imitate. Maybe they would have preferred the video :rolleyes:</p>