Is it wrong of me to still want to leave when I’m literally getting paid to go? I recieved a full tuition scholarship through the University of Michigan- Flint’s Honors Program and with additional scholarships plus living at home still I had a substantial amount refunded to me.
But I can’t stand that it’s a commuter school. I can’t rationalize living in the dorms because I live 15 minutes away. Even if I lived there many of the events they hold on campus are sparsely attended. I know, i’ve been to a few because I’ve tried to engage. My mom keeps telling me i’ll be fine because I make the most of things but I went to every single beginning of the year event, every Mgagement fair. I joined club bball and half the team is transferring or graduating next year. Same with the debate team I joined. I started seeing a counselor through the school services and they advised me to let the ideas of transfer go and try committing because if I stayed focused on transfer I wouldn’t make real connections/ i’d be withdrawn. So first semester I tried to go all in but i’m still feeling this way now.
I think the most recent straw for me was when I walked from one end of campus to the other and only passed one other person. I hate that. I didn’t realize until being here how much I wanted the going away to college experience.
Right now, I’m applying to UChicago and UM: Ann Arbor. I was accepted to both last year but various practical (read: financial) and personal reasons prevented me from going to either. It didn’t help that I was undecided then either. Now I actually have a certain major and a rough plan for classes to go towards a minor and maybe double major.
UChicago was my dream school but Ann Arbor makes more sense because I have a transferable $5000 a year scholarship i’m guaranteed. UChicago offered me a lot last year including merit scholarships but in my mom’s eyes cheap didn’t beat free even when considering the other differences between the schools.
Last year my mom told me give it a shot and we’ll see. Well I feel like I tried and i’m still not happy and now she’s still pressuring me to stay. She told me she worries about a future me being in debt and stressed over money asking her “why’d you let me do that mom?” She asks, what if you transfer and then you aren’t happy there either? You think I haven’t worried about and considered these things too?
I’m stressed and bothered right now and this turned more rant-y than planned but anybody in a similar position?
I tried to read up and a lot of stories were the reverse, people getting full rides far away and wanting to come home. I got a full ride at home and I want to get out.
I’ve been in a similar situation, and ultimately for me, I had to look at it from a financial perspective. I do think that you should prioritize your financial future. I transferred to a university that was in the same state as my initial university, and sometimes it got really difficult for me financially, even though it cost only $2-4k more to attend.
When you transfer, there is the reality that you won’t get the aid schools use to attract freshmen. Does a guaranteed $5000 do much to offset the other costs of Ann Arbor? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t consider transferring, but you should go into it cautiously. When I wanted to transfer, I knew that money would be the determining factor. Don’t get so hung up on another school that you willingly go into exorbitant amounts of debt over it.
Also, keep in mind that many times transfers have a tough time assimilating into their new schools. Is it the worst thing in the world? No. Do most of them recover from it and find their people? I’d like to think so. Still, transferring isn’t a “fix-it-all” solution. I think many transfers inevitably think about, as your mom stated, how they would be better off at their previous institutions, even if for a fleeting moment. You want to be sure that when and if that moment comes for you, you don’t break down under the weight of enormous financial strain.
What are the realities of your family’s financial situation. Some parents who can afford fairly high tuition without it impacting on the parents’ or family’s quality of life or financial security never-the-less decide that a free or very low cost option makes more sense. Some parents really struggle to afford even to keep the electricity flowing. They simply don’t have any discretionary funds at all. The upshot may be the same-that is, they want their son/daughter to go for the least expensive option possible-but the differing financial situation of the families would impact on the advice I’d give to the student wanting a different school. Where do you view your parents on this sort of continuum?
Also choice of major-since some may make paying back loans easier than others. What do you want to study?
Are you and your family able to afford 3 years of Chicago or UM-AA but not 4 years? That seems to be the only obvious way that transferring now would be possible when entering as frosh was not.
@lostaccount
I’m in a single parent situation with just my mom. My dad died when I was in elementary school and parents were divorced before that. My mom is at a relatively good-paying job as a registered nurse. She has a considerable amount of savings and a lot of money put away in CDs but she often iterates most of that is meant as retirement or emergency money because she started a 401k and IRA later than most I think. She’s very good with money but I’m the youngest of 4 (with significant age gap, oldest children are in 30s then there is my one sister who is 22 and myself at 18) and the other children have borrowed and never paid back money that was meant to be loaned etc, and my 22-year old sister who is currently taking a break from college never applied for a n y scholarships and had my mom helping her pay the difference in her tuition that loans didn’t cover.
And I can already guess that my choice of major doesn’t help (but this time last year I was undecided and now I have a plan! So that counts for something, right?). I’m a psychology major with the intent to become an Industrial-Organizational Psychologist. That means I definitely have grad school in my future, either a master’s or a doctorate.
@ucbalumnus
With the scholarships I was able to receive last year, (some of which I didn’t know about until after May 1st unfortunately) I could’ve attended UChicago fully-covered, through means of grant money, merit scholarships, and outside scholarships. I am aware, however, that those kinds of offers aren’t given to transfer students typically. Given similar grant aid, with scholarships I have received, it probably wouldn’t be free but it could be relatively affordable.
Regarding Ann Arbor, I was essentially in a Chicago or bust mindset last year so when it came to Ann Arbor aid, I had an error that I never put time towards resolving and then the deadline passed. I never knew what kind of aid Ann Arbor might have offered me so hoping to see and evaluate that this year. Additionally, as mentioned before I have a guaranteed $5000 a year scholarship I would still receive and there are multiple scholarships that I plan to apply to outside of Ann Arbor and that Ann Arbor offers specifically for transfer students. Entering as a freshman to Ann Arbor probably would’ve been possible had I not missed the aid deadline.
@WeLoveLyman
Regarding a switch to Ann Arbor, I believe with the multiple programs they have in place for transfer students as well as my involvement already in the LEAD Scholars which is technically for students on all 3 campuses but is very, very Ann Arbor-centric, that I would be able to find my place there with confidence.
Money is very much a determining factor for me as well regardless of how sad thinking that currently makes me. I explained my situation somewhat in the other two replies but I’ll mention again that I’ve been applying for many other scholarships including ones at Ann Arbor that are renewable and specific to transfer students. Last year I never was able to know what kind of aid they would have offered me so that kind of evaluation overall will have to wait until I can re-apply and get an estimate of aid offers from them. But again, considering that I know grad school is in my future, money is very much a factor.
I want to also ask you though because you said you did transfer, did it feel worth it? You mention financial difficulties, but in that moment of doubt you mentioned, did you break down or did you feel confident in the decision you had made?
Are you a first year student? I’ll give you my perspective as someone who transferred in undergrad. You have two competing interests. You need to prioritize your financial health and your future grad school needs. You also want to have a more traditional college experience. I’m somewhat less practical than others and would say that looking for that more traditional experience is important too. I transferred as a third year student from a small school with a full ride to a state flagship where I was instate but didn’t have as much financial aid.
My recommendation is to give yourself one more year. You can spend less money next year in your current situation. UM Ann Arbor will still be there. You can apply as a transfer while you are a sophomore and spend your last two years of college there. In the meantime, try to settle into your current situation knowing you will be there for another year and a half and try to make the most of it. I ended up enjoying my sophomore year at my first school much more. I did eventually find a nice group of people and was kind of sad to leave them.
Even though I was only at my second school for my last two years, I took full advantage of clubs and football games and all that fun stuff. I also only had upper division classes left so I had mostly small classes and got to know my professors well. I ended up finding my people fairly easily even though I was a transfer and I am not a super outgoing person. If you can make the finances work, it is worth a try, but it will be easier to make two years of finances work rather than three.
It felt worth it in the long run, but in my moment of doubt I definitely broke down. I didn’t like my previous institution, either, but I literally thought, “I hated it, but I wouldn’t be under this financial stress.” I do agree with gumbogal (great name) that you should wait another year, if for the finances more than anything. Also, most of the aid I received was in the form of need-based aid.
Apply to both and see what kind of financial aid packages you receive. It sounds like one or both may be affordable with need based aid.
How cheap is cheap? Can your mom truly come up with the difference, or is the hard cold reality that only free is workable for your family? Get clear about that so you know what your options are.
Why not walk around AA and see how it feels. Take mom to lunch on the weekend. I assume you have been there living in Flint.
Make an appointment with a transfer admission counselor. They have transfer Tuesdays for a reason. https://enrollmentconnect.umich.edu/portal/transfer_tuesdays
You want to make sure all your credits transfer to AA. Just because your at one of their branches doesn’t mean all your credits will transfer. Check that out. https://lsa.umich.edu/lsa/prospective-students/transfer/transfer-credits.html
If it’s feasible financially then transfer. Because you were accepted but chose one of their branches not sure if that helps you but you would think it didn’t hurt.
Have a serous talk with mom. I give her a lot of credit. She needs to save for retirement. Having 4 kids and paying bills etc and saving for college is tough. What seems like a lot of money for retirement most likely is not.
If you got funds to live on campus then do that. It’s hard to say it feels like a commuter school but you yourself go home. If you were on campus you might connect to others that are on campus also.