MODERATOR’S NOTE:
At this point, I think the OP has received plenty of solid advice. What she needs now is time to digest it all and perhaps review it with someone in her non-virtual community. If, after several days, she wants to post an update and answer some of the questions posed, she can PM me and I’ll look to reopen.
Additionally, although I make no statement about the OP’s credibility, many of the respondents have been of the under-the-bridge variety, and I can’t delete/ban fast enough.
For those reasons, closing thread.