<p>“I think you have to teach your kids to be realistic. Urge them to have a plan and a plan B. I agree with the previous poster. Follow your dream but be prepared to earn your own living. And know that some dreams will mean giving up on others.”</p>
<p>theres plan b and plan b.</p>
<p>lets say your dream is to be a musical theater star. If it doesnt happen, you can A.make a relatively modest living doing something like regional theater, or whatever B. Teach theater in high school C. Go to professional school. If a kid thinks A or B is a reasonable back up to being a star, than an MT major is reasonable. If there is a grad school field that they like, and can afford, thats an option. If none of the above applies, they might consider electrical engineering :)</p>
<p>Oh no, not teaching children to dance! Teaching pensioners to play tennis! Anything but that!!!</p>
<p>Seriously, these are good, respectable jobs that allow people to make a living out of something they love and still have plenty of free time to spend with their family/pursue their other interests. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>Your “Plan B”–become a corporate lawyer and play Peruvian music in your free time (all 10 minutes of it)–is awful advice because it prioritizes income over everything else. Money is not more important than happiness; it is something most people need to get the things that make them happy. If you can be happy as a yogi/folk dancer/homeless person, if you don’t actually need a lot of money to achieve happiness, then there is no point in devoting your life to making a lot of money.</p>
<p>People should be allowed to follow their dreams. Some will end up earning more money than others. Big deal.</p>
<p>(As an aside, one of my high-school teachers was a critically acclaimed poet who often told us the story of his departure from his family: His father pushed him to become a lawyer quite against his wishes, which was a great source of frustration and anxiety for him as he loved literature with all his heart and had absolutely no desire to go into law. Ultimately, he got a degree in creative writing, moved halfway across the world, and severed his ties with his father. Right now, he’s an English teacher and part-time writer who loves his day job, his poetry and essays have been published in some great journals and magazines (his upcoming book is actually making quite a buzz among literary critics right now), and his father hasn’t heard from him in years. The only loser here is his father, who probably thought much like you.)</p>
<p>As long as the kid (rather than the parent) is willing to sacrifice for his/her dreams, I say go for it. </p>
<p>But my friend whose child is in musical theater is still supporting that child at 26. She works two jobs. </p>
<p>And I know so many other people who are supporting their grown children who either never got a job, never looked for a job or have no skills for a job. It’s really sad.</p>
<p>None of the parents I know who are still supporting their grown children are happy about it. And it’s not just the money. In some cases, the money isn’t an issue. It’s the idea that their children aren’t really growing up.</p>
<p>"When I was in school (back in the stone ages) but also during another recession, none of my high school or college classmates did anything like this. We became accountants, doctors, lawyers, bankers, teachers. If we harbored dreams of being writers, artists or athletes, we kept those things as hobbies. We were a practical generation. "</p>
<p>I doubt many kids in your time majored in “pre law” in college. Or “prebanking”. When pray tell diid you go to school - I graduated HS in 1977. In that era lots of kids did idealistic things right after college, and still managed to go all yuppie later on, with or without grad school. Maybe thats harder now, but its not that doing something impractical is new.</p>
<p>Letting a kid follow his dreams is fine, as long as they’re the kid’s dreams. What gets me is when a kid has said outright that he doesn’t want to do ______________ anymore, but the parent keeps him in.</p>
<p>Or, here’s another one…
Paying $30,000 per year to send your athletic kid to a fancy private HS “because that’s where the college scouts recruit.” Then, when the kid isn’t recruited, these are the same parents who say the tier 4 Directional State U is the only higher education they can afford for Junior.</p>
<p>"As long as the kid (rather than the parent) is willing to sacrifice for his/her dreams, I say go for it. </p>
<p>But my friend whose child is in musical theater is still supporting that child at 26. She works two jobs. </p>
<p>And I know so many other people who are supporting their grown children who either never got a job, never looked for a job or have no skills for a job. It’s really sad. "</p>
<p>how long has the kid been unemployed? Is the kid at home? I see nothing wrong with supporting a new grad at home during a job search. Whether they are shooting for wall street or broadway. Paying for their funky pad in hipster Brooklyn for years - well thats a luxury some choose.</p>
<p>Quick note - homeschooled tennis player likely has time for both tennis and his studies. Whether or not he gets recruited with a big athletic scholarship or plays his sport in college at all, I don’t see homeschooling hurting his admission chances. Might help. If the choice works for him and his family, why not?</p>
<p>Well, I have to be honest, I really don’t care if my kids move home after school and live with me forever. We have a big property. We can make more buildings. We can’t make more kids. Maybe my kids will make more kids! Happy thought for the future.</p>
<p>How many dreams were killed and talents wasted because people chose to be “realistic” and follow the money?</p>
<p>People should follow their dreams and happiness over what makes more money; they shouldn’t have to take up a better paying job just to have another “plan.” Many people care little for money and many of us hate it.</p>
<p>That isn’t an excuse for the people who are lazy and mooching off their parents, but for the people defying the standard “career” plan to follow their dreams or what they feel is right.</p>
<p>
Chris McCandless did this for a different reason, though he did graduate from Emory first.</p>
<p>I know this is a meandering thread and not all the situations are comparable. And I’m venting because it’s very hard to hear these stories from my friends or hear stories that I fear are setting other friends up for the same sort of disappointment. </p>
Maybe the quality of life is more important than the quantity of life. I was just bringing up a parallel of a person that many people admire, though his story is sad.</p>
<p>Just thought of another one: the kid who went to film school, was going to be a producer (still calls himself that to pick up women) but has no job, and lives off his father. </p>
There will always be kids living off their parents while there are parents willing to indulge them. There’s not much that can be done about it but shrug and make sure you do what’s right in life and do the best you can to do right by your kids.</p>
<p>The movie was good, but the character was a self absorbed person who cared nothing for his family or their feelings. Not an admirable person at all.</p>
<p>The problem above, in my opinion, isn’t that the kid majored in musical theater. The parents are willing to support their grown children. And you say the kids are not growing up. In my case, supporting my kids is not an option for them to consider. They know the expectations are to support themselves. We are here in an emergency but from the day they graduated college (and in summer during college), they knew they had to make their expenses. I suppose kids could move home but my kids have no desire to do that as they are pursuing their careers elsewhere. They are go getters. They know they must find ways to earn money. As I said, my D, who is 22, graduated college for MT two years ago and has supported herself in NYC and every single job she does is in theater and/or music (not every job is performing, but every job she does is professional in nature). She has done many things (and does many at one time in fact). Does she make a lot of money? No. Do I care? No. I just know she makes what she needs to in order to pay her expenses. She is still young. But for those who complain they are still supporting a kid who is 26…sorry, but in my view, they are CHOOSING to do that. My kids are independent. This kid started college at 16, supported herself every summer in college and since graduation day at 20. Again, we do pay for health insurance still, though for one period of time, she got insured through Actor’s Equity when on tour. But right now, she is back on family plan which doesn’t cost me extra as I still have to have that plan as D1 is in grad school and is on it.</p>
<p>Just to clarify, we paid for our kids’ college and grad school educations and are paying all the loans. That’s what we gave them. Once out of school (their final degree), they are expected to earn their own way financially as they are adults. Likewise, every summer during college, as they opted to live away from home, they had to earn enough to support where they lived and all their associated expenses. We paid expenses during the school year.</p>
Happy thought for the future.</p>