<p>My D just finished her freshman year as a musical theatre major. We are paying for school (OOS tuition) out of pocket but she is contributing by earning several merit scholarships and working on campus part-time. She is spending the summer living in an apartment that she shares with 3 other musical theatre/acting majors from her school who are all working as performers at the same theatre. She is also working part-time on campus to supplement her earnings as a performer. She is making enough to pay her own expenses and to put a little away into her savings account. How is that different than a student pursuing some other “more sensible” major in college? I am thrilled that we can help her pursue her chosen career path!</p>
<p>Where’s the crystal ball when we need it the most? ;)</p>
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<p>Pink, ack! Please please don’t start making plans around the predications of some writer turned pop-psychologist who purposefully writes books to sell.This bozo is all form and pizazz over content. But hey, everyone’s an expert nowadays if they have a good marketing scheme behind them. Gag me.</p>
<p>“We are paying for school (OOS tuition) out of pocket…she is making enough to pay her own expenses and to put a little away into her savings account. How is that different than a student pursuing some other ‘more sensible’ major in college? I am thrilled that we can help her pursue her chosen career path!”</p>
<p>They almost all make minimum wage at 18, so for a freshman at an on-campus job there isn’t much difference between the earnings of a folklore major and a civil engineering major. </p>
<p>The difference will be in 30 years. Will your D be able to pay out-of-pocket OOS tuition for her kids? There is no crystal ball. Anyway, some of these future doctors and lawyers will easily have over $250,000 in student loans. I know someone who has spent half a million to get her D through vet school (no wonder vet bills are so high!). I know someone else who will have spent close to 3/4 of a million by the time they get their D through USC law school after UG at Duke at full pay (they probably spend almost $100,000 a year on this kid). It’s their money, completely up to them.</p>
<p>How can you spend $100K a year sending a kid to college? Just curious.</p>
<p>tptshorty - She is earning most of her money as a performer. That’s the point for me - she is getting to do not only what she is studying in school but also what she loves! Will she be able to pay OOS tuition for her kid some day? I hope so. She eventually wants to get her MFA and teach at the college level. She has wonderful faculty role models at her school - they teach and they continue to perform/write/direct professionally. And they seem to be supporting their families just fine. </p>
<p>I don’t know what her future holds in terms of how much she will earn or even where her love of the theatre will take her professionally. I do know that I am so glad that kids like her follow their passions so that we have actors and dancers and artists and writers and musicians and… Our lives would be much less without them. So perhaps I will continue to take my patronage of the arts a little more personally than some others. I’m okay with that.</p>
<p>I do exaggerate a bit, but … the tuition, school expenses, sorority and other costs are around 55,000-60,000 to start. Then they all fly back and forth across the country at least four times a year (from California) for football and basketball games. They take a grand tour every summer, plus another trip or two. Not all the money is directly college-related. How do I know all this? They brag about it!</p>
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<p>Law school isn’t necessarily a sure thing, especially in this economy. Even if one doesn’t factor in the harsh hours, cutthroat competition, and the negative impacts they have on lifestyle, most lawyers don’t make anywhere near the grand incomes people often assume lawyers make. </p>
<p>After the start of the most recent recession, I’ve noticed dozens of recent law school grad friends who are jobless or working unpaid positions with $200k+ of law school debt hanging over their heads. One law graduate friend who was on his school’s law review is barely making $30k at a non-profit(was lucky to even land that job) after 3 years and has to contend with $350k from undergrad + law school.</p>
<p>USC law school costs 72,000 before you add in other expenses.</p>
<p>[Cost</a> of Attendance](<a href=“http://lawweb.usc.edu/how/jd/finaid/costs.cfm]Cost”>Juris Doctor (JD) - Cost of Attendance | USC Gould School of Law)</p>
<p>Just reading that is enough to cause heartburn…</p>
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<p>Wo, Starbright. Tell us what you really think!</p>
<p>Have you read it?</p>
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<p>It is definitely worth contemplating but while we are, we need to consider to what end we are making the “full pay” a priority in educating our children. If that becomes our goal (to have full funds to finance an education that will allow our offspring to have the funds to fully finance our grandchildren’s education) then where do we figure in the passions, ambitions and talents of those individuals?</p>
<p>I’m not saying that it should no holds barred when borrowing money for our kids education and I will admit, I feel a little more comfortable about loans that my second daughter has taken out because, if she plans on a medical career, it will probably be easier for her to pay them back than the artist in the family (although it’s no guarantee).</p>
<p>Anyway, why take a random parent’s advice on what is best for these kids and the parents who are paying the bills or co-signing the loans? You can get a better perspective right from the students themselves-read “Majoring in Debt” and “Update on Majoring in Debt” on the Huffington Post:</p>
<p>[Student</a> Debt : Pictures, Videos, Breaking News](<a href=“http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/student-debt]Student”>Student Debt)</p>
<p>Dan Pink is a personal friend of mine; would appreciate the snark dial-down.</p>
<p>I agree fully that anyone can choose to pay and not pay what s/he pleases in terms of college and anything once your child is an adult. The responsibility ends right there legally. However there are some things that most parents will pay for their children even when they are adults. Not because they have to do so, but because they want to do so, and there is that huge area where there is some reasonable expectation to do so.</p>
<p>A family that is clearly well to do is regarded as unreasonable if it will not contribute dime one for college. That is pretty much universally so regarded. The area starts turning gray when things flow into such areas where the children have different plans and desires from the parent. Yes, the parent can clamp down on the funds and refuse to pay for absolutely anything unless the kid does what the parent dictates. But again there are reasonableness standards to this.</p>
<p>The damages that come from a parent refusing to support a child in an endeavor are not so much from the lack of financial support from what I have seen. I’ve know parents who just can’t or won’t give money for many very good causes their kids want, but still support their children’s attempts to do it on their own. It’s a whole other story, when there is the scorn and disappointment and that is where the damage can occur in the relationship and the emotions.</p>
<p>The young musician is pretty happy with her life and is reasonably successful, certainly no worse off than many of her peers. The part of her life that remains a sore is her relationship with the parents. And they are the ones who are so upset, ashamed, disappointed. And therein lies the shame, not that they had other aspirations for her or wish things were otherwise. It is not going to be the case for many of us that our children will do what we would ideally like to have them do. It is our response to the reality that makes the difference.</p>
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<p>Thought some might enjoy…</p>
<p>[Presentation</a> Zen: Be like the bamboo: 7 lessons from the Japanese forest](<a href=“http://www.presentationzen.com/presentationzen/2010/07/be-like-the-bamboo-trees-lessons-from-the-japanese-forest.html]Presentation”>http://www.presentationzen.com/presentationzen/2010/07/be-like-the-bamboo-trees-lessons-from-the-japanese-forest.html)</p>
<p>I am happy to assist my '11 grad - - but I think that if she wants to follow her passion, she has to accept the lifestyle that her passion supports. I have not always (as deepthroad advised) followed the money and a result, while we have a good life, affordability is a factor with everything we do. We have a modest house, when planning a vacation I scour the internet for deal, etc. We live within our means, and there’s no reason D shouldn’t begin doing the same. I’m tired of kids complaining about not having enough $$ for groceries, while insisting that an iphone ($30/mo for data and texing) and permium cable are necessities.</p>
<p>So true, NYC. A lot of parents are doing their kids no favors giving them expensive electronics and all sorts of other things that are not going to be items they will be able to maintain in their life choices. Unless the parent is willing and able to continue the subsidies for a long, long time, there should be some weaning period. </p>
<p>It’s not easy for a parent to do this, I feel. I’m guilty of overindulging.</p>
<p>I teach at a community college, and I would bet that at least half of the kids I teach (who are usually complaining about $$) have fancier phones and drive newer cars than I do. It baffles me that kids have to have the data plans. I am of the belief that I don’t want everyone to be able to reach me every single minute of the day.</p>
<p>data plans are vital.</p>
<p>new research shows that the majority of school paper research by kids 12 and under is done on youtube, not google. video is everything and google is planning on youtube passing google as the #1 search vehicle in the near future. </p>
<p>so videos and phone and data plans are essential. or a mini computer and a data plan cell hook-up for when you’re out of free wifi range</p>