<p>5 boys, shudder…Woman of the year.</p>
<p>We’re having a big bunch of family members over on Christmas. And I count only three drinkers (include my h and myself) and we all stop at one or two. Some gave it up because of problems, others just made that choice along the way. My s tells me that we’re pretty unusual. He’s been invited to other family events and says there’s usually LOTS of boozers. Hmmm…
Now that s is in college, we still have rules about no underaged drinking at our house. It’s harder to control what’s going on at other houses. I made the calls in high school but I don’t really feel comfortable calling other college aged parents (most of them whom I don’t know) to make sure there is supervision. I just hope he has his head screwed on right. Lots of warnings - but who knows? Pretty scary…</p>
<p>“Supervised drinking party.” Something just doesn’t work with that conjunction of words.</p>
<p>Sure it does. I don’t see “legal” in that sentence.</p>
<p>So you call even if your kids are 17? The mother I’ve been referring to in this thread says that “no one calls” when the kids are 17, but I think its because it embarrasses the kids.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this has been addressed in this thread (I really don’t feel like going through 12 pages of posts), but I’m going to bring it up anyways.</p>
<p>The drinking age in the US really needs to be lowered. The culture surrounding drinking (from all generational standpoints) in this country is utterly ridiculous. Many parents act like having a few beers at 17 is as reprehensible as murder, many teenagers think it’s ‘cool’ to get black-out drunk just for the hell of it. The drinking age is 16(beer)/18(liquor) in many European countries, and they don’t have anywhere near the amount of problems with teenage drinking that the US does. The drinking age is 18 in Quebec and 19 in all the other Canadian provinces (might be 18 in some others, but I know it’s 19 in Ontario and British Columbia) and they don’t have as many problems as us either.</p>
<p>It’s true that lowering the drinking age won’t magically change things…In fact it may get worse before it gets better, since the problem is cultural. But teenage drinking will get a lot worse in the long run if it isn’t done. Parental guidance will go a long way, as well. 14/15 year olds in Italy commonly have a moderate amount of wine with dinner, why can’t 14/15 year olds in the US have a moderate amount of wine/beer with dinner as well?</p>
<p>MADD is contributing to the problem, as well. It’s a very well intentioned organization, but misguided. Anyone and everyone will agree that drunk driving is completely and utterly immoral, but MADD has shifted from education about drinking to straight up fear-mongering and lobbying to keep the drinking age 21. It’s utterly regressive.</p>
<p>Overall, America just needs to get its priorities straight. Graphic violence is all over the television and no one bats an eye, but Janet Jackson exposes her boob (with the nipple covered up, even) and everyone goes insane. What kind of message does it send to kids when we allow people to simulate murder/war on TV shows/movies, but frown upon the human body/human sexuality? Not a good one, I can tell you that.</p>
<p>I literally never had an issue with this. My kids may have been considered “geeks” but, they knew our stance on drinking. It was not allowed…period. It was easier for us to justify this because neither one of us really drink. We signed a pledge at the kids school as a safe house, meaning no tolerance for drugs drink or alcohol. Maybe (probably) alot of “cool” kids never came over…but, we had a steady stream of straight A student’s…kids with interests outside themselves…and kids who weren’t afraid to call their parents if they were having a problem.</p>
<p>We were nothing like our kids…lol, but we learned from our own mistakes. Two hippies, who had no clue about what they were doing, grew into parents who really did not want our own kids to make the same mistakes. I can safely say, none of them have:)</p>
<p>Not easy…but, it can be done!</p>
<p>Well DD and DS1 sidestepped this moral dilemma and came out of hs unscathed. They both drink a little in college but it does not define their existence there. On to DS2…I am sick in my heart right now for him as most every friend we have known since kindergarten is now involved with etoh, pot, and worse. I am having to say no at this point to parties that DS would like to go and make an appearance because the “cool crowd” really likes him and they don’t pressure him to party. He is really at a crossroads. At present he tells me that he is one of 3 kids he knows that does not drink. DS is such a great kid but I ask him…how many times can you go to those parties and be around that before you cave and drink? I am so disappointed in parents who think it is ok to allow kids to drink in their homes! It is wrong, against the law wrong… and it needs to be said outloud. Can’t it just wait till college? Part of my conviction comes from weekend shifts in the ED trying to locate parents of 16 year olds who are dropped off in our department by friends because they can’t wake them up, etc. I have seen tooooo many tragic outcomes of the party aftermath to ever say that it is a good idea for kids in high school to be drinking.</p>
<p>I would agree with gravitysrainbow on stance of lowering the drinking age. I feel like it is a bit ridiculous to expect college kids to refrain from drinking until junior year or so.</p>
<p>why can’t 14/15 year olds in the US have a moderate amount of wine/beer with dinner as well?</p>
<p>they can if their parents allow it in their home.</p>
<p>“they can if their parents allow it in their home.”</p>
<p>You’re right. But how many parents honestly do? Not enough to positively change the culture, that’s for sure.</p>
<p>Gravity I agree with you, and so do 100s of college presidents who signed on supporting lowering drinking age - the Amysthye Initiative (spelling?). 21 has driven drinking age underground. More binge drinking and sexual assaults.</p>
<p>I wish I had been allowed to drink in a supervised environment when I was in high school. The first time I got drunk was as a freshman in college, and I threw up all over the place and had a 36 hour hangover (not even exaggerating) because I knew nothing about pacing, hydration, etc.</p>
<p>Vyse, yes that was a terrible weekend, but look on the bright side, that was all you lost. You werent assaulted, you didnt have alchohol poisening.</p>
<p>My D and friends ( H.S. Seniors) don’t drink. Sad to say…this has cost them in terms of social standing and popularity in H.S., thankfully they are taking the long range view. They are a fairly small ,close knit group and all of the parents know each other. They do have sleepovers, just girls except after Homecoming and Prom, but we made very sure that the boys and girls were separated for sleeping (this is where it really helps to know the parents!). </p>
<p>As for lowering the drinking age…well I grew up in Illinois and the drinking age was 19 for beer and wine back then, the reality was that a college ID would get you in. I actually agree with that (by the way, I was also in a non-drinking social group in H.S.). I do think that once a student is in college, he/she should be able to have a beer. Yes, I know that some kids abuse this ( drunk driving/binge drinking) however I don’t think raising the drinking age to 21 has helped.</p>
<p>don’t think raising the age to 21 will counter the binge drinking culture, nor does lowering it stop it. Europe has the lower drinking age, in Italy binge drinking is frowned upon, the only European country that does not have(yet) a binge drinking culture, Ireland is 18, England is 18 yet has the same problem with binge drinking at 12 being the starting age(have family in both countries so know it is a REAL problem there as well). It is “the thing to do”, binge to get as drunk as fast as you can do stupid things for the entertainment of your so called friends/peer group. It is by no means social at all.</p>