<p>well, I was a bit feminist - I was simply interested in listing things, like, why do I have to do the dishes when my brother watches TV!!!- even before coming to US. </p>
<p>But after living in US for three years (I visit my country for summer break), people often say i have changed. In my country, a young girl like me usually does not involve in the conversations of my father and his brothers. But I do that pretty all the time! I just like listening what they have to say about politics… I mean, as I talk with them, I could learn a lot of thing!! The problem is people find that very rude. I also do not like how women have to give up their jobs and be housewives. I told my mom that I am not even interested in having my own child. (I am going to work hard and make lots of money and adopt!!! ) Hummmmm, my mom thinks I only say this just because I have not fall in love yet. But, I just know from the bottom of my heart, having my own child is unnecessary!!!
Living in US by myself, watching Daily Show, I feel like I don’t fit in my traditional family and this country. </p>
<p>when I go visit my relatives, they often say to my mom, " youre daughter is so cute, when is she gonna marry?"</p>
<p>U must be from India.
Anyways, you don’t know when your pereception changes. What you think right may be wrong after 3 months. Many NRIs think that they don’t fit into their traditional society,back home. That’s perfectly normal and bound to happen. Don’t worry,do as what your heart tells(Use ur brains also).</p>
<p>Yeah, the US is a country where you’re going to change your attitude towards most things in the world. Still, I think that culture is something you should get used to and obey, because from my personal experience (I am a guy from an xUSSR country) it is impossible to change peoples’ attitude towards certain things. You know, people always have convictions which they have shaped in their young days and refuse to change until their death.
Therefore, you never fight with windmills as Don Quixote did. Instead of that, I recommend you to become a passive observer: whenever you come to your home country, don’t try to teach those people or express your opinions, you simply observe what’s going on and listen, because this experience will help you to understand your culture better and thus you will benefit from it.
Finally, as you have/will have American education, you are likely to find a job in the US. So simply if you don’t like traditions in your country, if you think that they are meant to discriminate you, you should live and work in the US.</p>
<p>thanks rytis! your post helped me to see the different side. I do agree with you that it is always better to keep peace than to make some quarrels which will make things worse. I just need to be more patient.</p>
<p>i guess in your country it is necessary to conform to societal conventions of women playing a silent role. this aint gonna be very helpful, but have u read the book “princess”? assuming ure from saudi, this book is very relevant</p>
<p>I find that I have the opposite problem as you. I lived in my home country for almost 8 years, and it’s as if the government beat my homeland’s culture into my brain. My mindsets are usually very similar to my culture. Those underlying assumptions cause many disruptions during debates with Americans.</p>
<p>I am not from the middle-east, people!
Actually, I am from some place where things are pretty open-minded. It’s just that my “overly” traditional family I feel rejected.</p>
<p>I used to think that just listening what others say is only making things easy, not really productive. But, after rytis’ reply, I see it is much wiser thing to do than showing my real-interest. well, if there is the “right time” to appeal my thought, I shall do that in very friendly and logical language, which will help reducing any chances of quarrel.</p>
<p>So, thanks guys!
I didn’t really prefer writing anything in here, thinking that people here are somewhat “snobby”. well, I guess I was very wrong.</p>