Lol. Love this topic.
Future hubby (FH) and I booked a (cheap) guided tour to Egypt. It was supposed to be a partial “camping” experience.
-FH left his passport at home so I had to leave without him and he arrived next day. He missed The Great Pyramids and The Sphinx. (We did squeeze in a hurried visit before going to airport at the end.)
-Tour guide was in a relationship with the cook. They bickered constantly on the excursions and on the coach.
-Second night of the tour was in a car park, in tents, with sleeping bags and no sleeping bag mats, NEXT to a mosque. Most people might be aware of the time at which the Imam starts calling worshippers to prayer. Sleep did not happen.
-Tour guide came down with flu. Gave it to most people on the trip.
-Tour guide and cook smoked a marijuana hookah each night. The cook was not a good cook, unsurprisingly.
-One hotel was so unacceptably terrible that FH and I paid for a night elsewhere.
-Another hotel was so infested with cockroaches that FH bought a can of bug spray, but forgot to leave an exit route for the roaches, so we slept with the lights on all night.
-Tour guide booked a terrible restaurant where I found a TOENAIL clipping in my food.
-Forced to sleep in a freezing cold coach one night because tour guide hadn’t booked camp site. We basically stayed up 24 hours. But, it was Christmas Eve, so we just walked up Mt. Sinai in the dark to watch the sunrise on Christmas morning. That was actually kind of cool. (We brought a tiny bottle of port to toast Xmas morning, but forgot the corkscrew. Lugged bottle of port all the way back home and had a good laugh a week later.)
Finally, the piece de resistance…
-The highlight of the trip was an extra fee camel trek into the desert with Bedouin tribesmen, sleeping under the stars. There were four tourists and three Bedouins. The tour guide provided all the provisions.
We trekked to a few hundred yards past the town garbage dump.
We discovered that our meal for seven consisted of: Plenty of beer, 1 packet of spaghetti, 1 carton of stewed tomatoes, and 1 block of Feta. The tribesmen made our meal. Luckily, they had salt and pepper.
The kicker, and this is 100% true, was when I asked them an innocent question.
“Do you have a word in your language for this meal?”
One of the Bedouins:
Hubby and I laugh about that every single time. We proceeded to get very drunk in the desert with the other two tourists and had a very entertaining evening.
When we got home, almost every person on the tour wrote a lengthy complaint letter. We all received full refunds on the tour AND a credit for a future trip.
We did see some super cool places, all of which were overshadowed by roaches, toenails, and spaghetti with feta. Probably one of our most fondly remembered trips though.