Go where you will be happiest. Hold your head high. You have achieved so much in your short life! Do yourself a favor and enjoy your successes. Also, if you have a few minutes check out a video called “Loser’s Club” by Van Cliburn gold medalist, Jon Nakamatsu. The quality is not great, but I promise it will make you smile and shed some light on this little bump in your road.
Best wishes to you!
@rasofia
PS: to answer your question “Why did I bother working so hard in school? What did it get me?” – it got you a huge scholarship to a top-20 school that will make it cost roughly the same as community college.
Let me preface this by saying that if my kid got into Rice (already one of my favorite colleges for her) with the financial aid package you were offered, I’d fall on the ground and weep with happiness.
BUT!
Your reasons for preferring UT over Rice to me are legitimate. I know other people are telling you you’re crazy, yadda yadda, but if you need the support of family close by and you need the familiarity of your friends, then that’s what you need.
We have a family friend where the dad bought a house close to where his daughter went to college because she was missing her friends and family so much it was affecting how well she did. The entire family would go to the new house close by on the weekends so she could hang out with them. It was what she needed.
And that’s what this comes down to-what do you need to be happy and successful at college? Don’t feel guilty about turning Rice down because of all they offered you-they’re not a people, they’re a business. You’re a good catch and they offered you a sweet deal.
IF this sweet deal matches up with what you want to do at Rice, then it’s a win-win situation. If it doesn’t, then it’s not for you.
I get that you’re having to make some really long-term hardcore rational decisions, and I get that you’re a very passionate, emotional person (I am too), and making decisions like this can be REALLY daunting.
Just set aside the money numbers (because the schools are pretty close) and the guilt (Rice is a business, you won’t hurt their feelings), and evaluate each school on what is important to you.
Make a spreadsheet (I do that a lot-it helps me to make rational decisions). Put EVERYTHING, no matter how silly you think it might be, on that spreadsheet, and compare each one head to head. Then sit back and take a few days to think about it and let it all percolate. You’re still in the fever of “omg this is all crazy and different”, and it’s hard to make decisions.
Just fully explore both your options. Don’t worry about anybody else’s expectations.
Run the net price calculators with 2 and with 1 in college, how much does it change for both schools?
Figure in the scholarships. At Rice any need based aid might be replaced by the scholarship.
Go visit Rice, ask questions, investigate program and opportunities for engineering students, women in engineering, meet students.
I think it is awesome you are the valedictorian. It shows you cared about school and it also shows that you are capable of great things. You never know what the schools are focusing on and I would not consider UT and A&M poor choices. In fact, you can attend there practically for free right? You can then do whatever you want with no debt whatsoever. I would not downplay UT. It has a great reputation, a great law school and medical school and is known for its students being leaders. You have to let it go that you did not get in certain schools. In fact, you should appreciate the fact that UT likes what they see in you and are giving you an opportunity many kids would kill for. Good luck and you will love Austin.
What @MotherOfDragons said.
MotherofDragons suggestions are on point… IF the student and/or family can afford the out of pocket costs. If $15-20K additional in loans/out of pocket costs is manageable over the 4 years (it is for some but not for everyone) then the OP can choose what she feels is best for her (though she should really make the decision on sound reasoning. She has said she gets emotional and dramatic. This is a time to step back and be logical and practical.
The thought of a parent buying a house close to a campus so the student can be near family-- is a bit mind boggling.
Hold your head high and be proud of your achievement. Go to a school that offers the most financial aide and make the best of the college experience. Have fun, try different things, develop interests outside of academic studies, become well rounded, don’t focus so much on grades. I was there in your place 31 years ago. In the long scheme of things it doesn’t matter, what matters is developing a full rich life with people you love who love you. If people ask just say it is not up for discussion. I hope you applied to some safeties too. Best of luck.
@jym626 the second house is very near the beach, so our opinion about it is “awesome, wish we had the lettuce to do that!”
When you’re emotional and lead with your right brain, people telling you to think logically is like people telling you to just start speaking German. That’s why I like spreadsheets-it’s logic that right-brained people can work with and understand.
This is a bit of a wild (but not too wild) suggestion to be used only if you REALLY want to go to Duke or Yale. Write back to the admissions office to tell them that (name of school) is your first choice and that you want to stay on the waiting list. Then, show up with a check in hand for the required fees on the first day of freshman orientation. At the end of the day, inquire if there is anyone who was admitted and failed to show up. Point out that you were put on thee wait list and you are ready to take his or her place by enrolling. It may work!
@Wien2NC It sucks not because of Rice, which is a great school. But, rather, it sucks because literally just a few days ago I mentally and emotionally decided UT was THE school for me. I paid my enrollment deposit and told all of my family about my decision. Even now, I’m still set on UT. It only sucks because It’s going to be harder now to forget about UT, which I don’t think I can do. I’ve talked to countless UT students and faculty up to this point and have researched so many opportunities/clubs/groups that I want to join throughout my four years at UT. Rice does NOT suck at all, and I’m beyond grateful that they would offer me this much. I feel completely honored by it. The thing is it all happened AFTER I had set my mind on UT. It’s not easy to just dismiss something like that.
@MotherOfDragons Thank you for your wonderful response & advice. Seriously. THANK YOU.
I’m sorry to the people on this thread who think I’m being totally ridiculous/contradictory. I really do understand why they think so. If I was someone from the outside looking in, I’d say the same exact thing: “UT vs Rice and RICE is offering you almost a full scholarship? What, are you crazy? Go to Rice!” It’s not that simple. It really isn’t. I KNOW Rice is amazing. I am beyond appreciative of what they are offering, which is why I am feeling immense guilt right now !!! If this weren’t the case, this conversation wouldn’t be going on, and I’d be going to UT.
It’s difficult because I visited Rice and didn’t like it how I thought I would. It’s technically PERFECT, but I didn’t feel at home/ at ease/ comfortable like I did at UT. I wish I could just let you all have my heart and brain for just a few minutes to see why I feel so confused at the moment.
Basically:
- I visited Rice and didn’t “feel” right there. I felt sad, which could’ve been for various other reasons, I know.
- I put Rice at the back of my mind and started considering my other option: UT
- I visited UT, talked to students & faculty & attended Engineering sessions. I came out feeling really excited.
- I thought…this is PERFECT. Not only did I actually like what all the Engineering students/faculty had to say and offer, but I’m going to be so close to my family and will be starting this journey with an amazing group of friends. I thought…I know this will be a tough major, but I’ll have my friends to talk to and hang out with at least once or twice a week to keep me sane and to rid me of some of my home-sickness. It’ll also be even more perfect because my brother’s girlfriend goes to UT, so he’ll be visiting the both of us now! UT offers comfort and a great Engineering program. Rice offers a great Engineering program.
Maybe I SHOULDN’T be basing my decision off my “feelings,” and rather be practical about it all…Rice is so prestigious and is offering me even more money than UT. If I were basing it off of this alone, I would go in a heartbeat. I wish I could just shut off my feelings, but I can’t.
Guys, I actually haven’t slept in the past two days because of this. One day, I’m SO excited about UT. The next day, Rice offers me this amazing financial aid offer. This is four years of my life. I can’t just make a decision from one day to the next, and I can’t just forget about UT (which I thought was MY school just two days ago…and still).
@rasofia
but just a few days ago you were devastated because you got rejected by four top schools, telling us you wasted so many years studying so hard and maybe you should just go to UT and get a 2.8, etc etc.
then suddenly it seemed like you shook that off and got all pumped up about UT.
THEN you got a boatload of money from a school that is pretty academically close to the ones that rejected you, and it will be thousands of dollars cheaper than UT. this is in fact a GOOD development that does not suck.
i think you will be able to shake off your current feelings and transfer your enthusiasm to Rice. and if not, then go to Texas.
Hook 'em Horns! Congratulations - you are awesome!
@Wien2NC I didn’t “shake it off.” I’m taking the advice of all the people on this thread who told me to stop thinking about it, to just start focusing on my future and all the opportunities I will have at UT. There isn’t a day that goes by in school where students don’t ask me the same question, “Did you check already?? Check! You’re going to get in for sure!” I just ignore it. I move along because why would I keep thinking about it? To make myself sad again?
Plus, I posted that thread literally MOMENTS after I read the rejection letters. Of course I was going to be all over-dramatic. I was crying while I was writing it! But I clarified just a few responses later that I KNEW I was being over dramatic. It was an impulsive thread, and I apologize for that. I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry.
Anyway, I know Rice + money is GREAT. I know that. But is that what I should do? Just go to the college that offers more money? Shouldn’t I consider all other factors?
Ok I’m going to log off for a bit because I need to just go rest and think about it again.
@rasofia
you haven’t slept in a couple of days. you don’t have to make a decision immediately, right? try stop thinking about it for a few days until you get some sleep. the stress plus lack of sleep might be starting to snowball on you.
try to get some rest and relax because you have two great choices here so you literally cannot blow it.
@Wien2NC I go to bed really early and just lay there, trying to fall asleep. But the thoughts come creeping in, no matter what else I try to think about. I should probably take some Advil PM or something to get back into my regular sleep schedule. However, I am sure that tonight I will be too tired to even function and will hopefully fall asleep instantly.
I had to actually explain this whole situation to my teacher because I’ve been falling asleep in class and she called me over to ask why.
But anyway, thank you for your response. I appreciate any advice I can get. I’m going to go sit and watch TV and relax a bit. Thanks so much.
Also, it probably is adding to the pressure that I have to make a decision in less than three weeks. That and I have to start brainstorming my Val speech + prom + AP Calc BC exam + life. I’m waiting for the day when the answer will just come to me. I wish it were that easy.
Thank you so much.
@rasofia
sorry for busting your chops a little bit on some of these posts. you’re dealing with a lot right now. it’s amazing how things get so much easier to sort out after one good night of sleep. hope you can get some zzzzz’s.
@rasofia, at this point the decision should be between you and your parents. By working together you and your parents can figure out what is best for you. Your the one that is going to be attending the school. The problem with choices is sometimes they create unnecessary stress.