Your thread title says you got rejected everywhere but you applied to a bunch of elites you didn’t want to go to and you have acceptances at UT and with a nice scholarship to Rice?? No words…
@jym626 I meant I got rejected from all the big schools I was expected (by students/family/friends) to get into, which is why I was embarrassed in the first place. I’m not undermining Rice or UT at all. I admit I’m being a bit over dramatic, but it’s built up pressure that I’m letting out.
If you’re so worried about what everyone else thinks just lie and say you forgot to submit a supplement essay or something and that’s why you got rejected who would know?? No one because it’s none of their business anyway.
@a20171 I know. I should’ve just not said a word about where I applied to in the first place, but my classmates were constantly asking me if I applied to any Ivies, and I figured the truth would somehow come out if I lied about it.
Please immediately read Frank Bruni’s “Where You Go Is Not Who’ll You’ll Be.” You have nothing to be embarrassed about; you’re an achiever, you’re highly intelligent and a hard worker. You will be successful because you have all the right tools and it doesn’t matter that you didn’t get into Harvard or Princeton. Who cares? I can tell you that I have no idea where most of my adult friends went to college (very successful people BTW) because it honestly didn’t matter at all. In fact, two of my friends who went to Princeton are lovely, lovely people, but they aren’t doing any better than my friends who went to University of Maryland, University of Colorado, GW, etc. Take some time and wallow, but then pick yourself up and enjoy your success.
@PollyC Thank you so so so so much Polly!!!
Go get 'em, kid. Best foot forward from today onward.
As to the title and people grumping about it not being accurate; I get it, she’s a teenage girl, she’s feeling like the title even if it’s not rationally accurate. I’m all for cutting her (and a bunch of kids in her boat today) a lot of slack. And feeding them cookies.
Bummed out hardworking kids should have cookies today with all the disappointment going around.
But rasofia, YOU are the one making this bigger than it is. I’ll bet my socks most of those who know anything about admissions know that 90+ % of very qualified students get rejected from the elites, and these schools say over and over that they could fill their classes over multiple times with the applicants who are valedictorian of their class. There are over 37,000 secondary schools in the US http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ovae/pi/hs/hsfacts.html and this doesn’t include the homeschooled or international applicants competing against these 37,000+ Val’s.
Focused on your 2 FABULOUS acceptances and celebrate! You have a lot to be proud of.
Yeah I feel you it’s really hard to keep stuff like that a secret especially when you’re the type that thinks and worries a lot. My list of schools I’m applying to is very reach heavy so I’m probably gonna decide which schools I tell people I’m applying too and which I keep a secret (probably the ones where I have less of a chance of getting in). But there’s nothing you can do now. People know you applied. Just hold your head high and make sure everyone knows that you’re very happy to attend the school you’re attending in the fall. Say something like “Yeah I didn’t get in but I’m not too disappointed. I don’t think I would have decided to go that far from home”. If people say stuff just ignore them. You know that you got into your first choice school so be happy!
^^In my experience this argument makes absolutely no dent on the teenage psyche. It just makes them feel worse. Like they shouldn’t have a right to feel bad because others feel worse in some other area of the world where everyone’s dying of dysentery.
I think she should have a right to feel as bad/embarrassed/humiliated as she wants, whether we think it’s rational or not. Owning her feelings will help her sort through them and then be able to move forward with a clear (ish) mind.
And with this post I think you have your valedictory speech.
Your head is NOT going to blow off when your peers find out. The feelings of embarrassment you have are going to pass, quicker than you believe at this moment. It might even turn out to be fun to watch the shock on their faces.
Once you pay that enrollment deposit and start picking your dorm choices and buying stuff to go to college you are not going to care about today’s disappointment. Don’t look back, you can’t go back, only look forward.
@MotherOfDragons Your words are my thoughts exactly. You are a very, very understanding person. Thank you.
If anyone asks you could just say that you’ve decided not to discuss which schools you got in with anyone because it’s irrelevant and it bums you out to talk about it because you can’t afford them and you’re going to UT or Rice.
Or maybe someone else can come up w a more elegant excuse, 
@rasofia
This isn’t silly or childish. This is exactly the revelation that’s going to mature you into the kind of person you want to be.
You realized what it takes the typical overachiever much longer to learn (and some never learn, and those people burn out or become suicidal). You set the goal for yourself to juggle ten (!) clubs and earn stellar grades–lofty, extremely-difficult-to-accomplish goals–and you achieved them, even if the motives were wrong. You have the work ethic and breadth of experiences–and now, a deep desire to capitalize on the next four years of your life–to thrive at a school you want to go to, in literally whatever field you desire.
What you haven’t realized is that you can’t “earn” fulfillment in the same way you earn good grades, through doing specific things. You can get good grades and have it not pay off. You could get into the top schools, with people praising you left, right, and center, and still be deeply unhappy. You could spend all your time searching and trying out new things for years and still come out with no revelations. You could know 100% for sure what you’re going to do, then experience something that challenges everything you once thought.
If you want to stop living for other people, then this is a great place to start. If you want to start being content with anything less than perfection, then this is a great place to start. Give a speech because there are many students like you (though you may not think so) who have worked themselves to the bone and “lived better lives” but are equally miserable because they too missed the bigger picture.
What would you have said to them if you got into the schools you wanted? Work hard, and things will work out for you? Work hard, and you’ll end up happy?
Talk about how you had one pursuit in high school–perfection. And you were so one-minded about it that you didn’t savor the experiences you had or the people you were around. What were those experiences and who were those people? That’s what you have to offer your fellow students–tell them how much life has to offer, so don’t miss it.
@rasofia
feel free to vent away here and veg out this weekend. when you are ready, take a deep breath and start getting excited about UT or Rice.
Hook Em Horns, or … Claw Em Owls or whatever they say at Rice
Other than in state you applied to all schools that are complete reaches for everyone…schools that take less than one in ten applicants. And I’m guessing that everyone will say “she is going to UT, isn’t that great” Take a deep breath, go to UT and have a great 4 years there.
I strongly disagree, MotherofDragons. This is a student with MANY accomplishments. Better to focus on those. Too much energy has been placed into doing what they thought others wanted, not what they wanted. It would have been worse if there had been an Ivy acceptance. Since the OP doesn’t want to go, the next embarrassment would have been admitting that they didn’t want to venture far from home and their pets.
There is NO SHAME in picking the right school. (Location, fit, etc) that is best for THEM, not someone else. The Val speech can be about learning to live up to one’s OWN dreams, not someone else’s. They have NOTHING to be embarrassed about, so rationalizing irrational thinking isn’t helpful. Challenging the bright, strong student to redirect their thinking to what they want, and what they have to be proud of, not ashamed of, is MUCH more helpful.
@OnMyWay2013 Wow…I am so, so glad you brought that up about the speech. A few months ago when I was thinking about what I should say in the speech I thought I should just say: work hard and you’ll achieve your goals and then use my Valedictorian title as an example (even though that was never actually my goal). Now, I realize…yes, work hard…but work hard for your PASSION. Work hard, but work happy. Make sure you figure out what it is that you want to do and don’t just try to achieve perfection without actually knowing what is that you want. I didn’t know what I wanted, and now I’m on the path to try to figure that out. Thank you so much.
Wait, you’re surprised that you were rejected by 4 schools you never had any intention of going to? If you didn’t really want them, why are you surprised they didn’t really want you? You should be thrilled that someone is getting the opportunity to go to a college that they love instead of thinking about the acceptance letter you could’ve hung on your wall. Once you graduate high school, no one really cares about what you did. No one will ask you about your SAT scores. Maybe someone will ask you about why you chose your school, but no one is going to grill you on where you applied and were rejected.
Tbh, you’re probably the only one losing sleep over this. Yeah you may find it embarrassing, but no one else really cares or will look down upon you for where you were and were not accepted. You’re clearly very bright and have a great future in front of you. Embrace this and use the disappointment from this admissions cycle to propel you into the future. Good luck.