<p>My mom was the uber-volunteer of my school and my hometown. She organized school bake sales, PTA book sales, raised funds for the town library, was president of the Garden Club, and was active in our church. </p>
<p>I never had a meal with my parents. She would leave me a Swanson’s TV dinner in the freezer to heat up in the oven on school nights. My dad worked long hours; he usually didn’t get home until 9 and she would cook a dinner for him.</p>
<p>So I was very, very careful to not repeat this experience with my children. My children benefited from my presence in their lives every evening. Now that they are in college, I have great memories of our evening family time together. </p>
<p>I was happy to volunteer during the school day and happy to donate money,but sacrifice our family evenings together??? No darn way!</p>
<p>I used to love swansons tv dinners- the only time I ever got to eat anything different than my brother & sister. ( we only had them when our parents went out- which was very rare)
My favorite was the turkey w cranberry sauce- it seemed really decadent to have stuffing outside of Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>I have to bring this up. Has anyone else noticed a strange trend in fundraising and volunteerism? Let me explain with a hypothetical. An activity is going on that needs funds (school play, trip abroad, whatever). The people in charge decide to have a dinner/ auction/ gala to raise money. They ask for donations for the fundraising event (artwork, auction items, etc). The majority of these items come from the parents of the participants who need the funds. THEN, the parents are asked to buy tickets to the event. They show up and then proceed to BUY/ BID on the items that THEY produced for the fundraiser. So, in effect, they are actually providing the needed money themselves AND giving up countless hours (and more money) making bird houses or whatever. I don’t get it? I have actually ended up in this situation a few times and finally began saying “No, I will not make/paint a birdhouse so that I can pay to go to a dinner at which my neighbor will bid on my silly bird house and I will bid on on the one made by the man down the street.” When I bring this up, my comments go over like a lead balloon, as if I am just being negative and uncooperative and selfish. But, really, I think its because I pointed out that the emperor has no clothes. It’s like a form of volunteer cannibalism. lol. </p>
<p>And, on another note. Artists get asked A LOT to donate art work. We don’t generally make a lot of money. Yes, the exposure is nice but it gets to be a bit much. Also, an interesting thing that many are not aware of: artists can only deduct the cost of their materials as a tax right off. Having said that, I do donate art and time when I am able and when it is a viable fundraiser.</p>
<p>EPTR, agreed regarding the art work. Ostensibly it works out if one parent is stay at home, or part time and has time to crochet a hat, or bake something that is bid upon. I used to contribute to skills auctions years ago, as I had more time than money. But no one ever expected me to contribute a few hours of my professional skills-RN-in the way those with a piece of creative work to contribute are asked. </p>
<p>Yorkyfan, I feel for the child you were. Glad you’ve been able to learn from it and give your kids the time you never were given. </p>
<p>The byproduct of all these volunteer projects, an invaluable one, is building community. My kids went to a cooperative preschool where we were all expected to contribute both classroom and committee time. Those who became accustomed to helping out in that preschool became some of the more involved volunteers in the elementary and so on through HS. Along the way fast friendships developed, and the offspring grew up with a strong community of parents and kids around them. It has been great to see my kids become very involved members of their college communities, in a similar manner to what they grew up with. </p>
<p>Regarding cookies-none of us need too many. However as I work in a profession where we’re always missing lunch, and breaks don’t happen, food of any sort is appreciated. I’d think more than one teacher appreciates a day with an egg based casserole and some fruit as an alternative to power bars and other commercially available goods. It takes a community, and the napkins and creamer are an integral part of such efforts.</p>
<p>Yes, of course, EPTR, you are right about the self-funding fundraisers. I have paid to eat many a bowl of chili that I had brought the ingredients for, as well as cleaned-up the kitchen afterward. In some ways, it can really begin to seem absurd.</p>
<p>And as for being asked to donate a work of art, yes again. Think of the poor merchants on main street, who are literally inundated with requests for donations to fundraisers. They have to devise procedures on how to deal with the requests.</p>
<p>I wish I could think of a better answer. I’m just glad there are so many people in the world who want to make things better for our kids.</p>
<p>Our school art auction was run bit differently- while several of the artists from this gallery donated a piece or two of their own art [Foster</a> White Gallery, Seattle,](<a href=“http://www.fosterwhite.com/]Foster”>http://www.fosterwhite.com/), most of the art was made by the kids & guided by a parent volunteer. ( although some pieces- like a Chihuly, was bought & redonated back every year or so )</p>
<p>For example- my husband was asked to build an wooden garder arbor- he did so( at home on his schedule) & then a classroom made ceramic pieces to place onto it ( at school guided by the parent)- and that was that class’s project.
He didn’t build an arbor every year- that was the only time.</p>
<p>Birdhouses as was mentioned- were even centerpieces one year- again, built by parents & kids decorated & painted them. Supplies for these projects were paid for by the auction committee.</p>
<p>Bidding goes much faster & goes higher when the piece is made by the kids- ( sorry Dale)</p>
<p>A few years back, my county 4-H had a big fundraiser. I’m not sure whose idea it is, but someone thought that we needed more money for some reason or another. I’m pretty sure it was a person looking to be involved and wanted something to do. Anyways, we brought in a country singer who gave a great deal on a performance. We had a carnival at the fairgrounds. Mothers baked cakes. People created carnival booths and other events. Parents of the 4-Hers put the time into preparaing, and were also the only ones attending, and bought the tickets to the concert and supported the event.</p>
<p>The result? The event had high fixed costs - around $4000 for the band and facility rental. Our revenues totaled $2500. In other words, the 4-H program left in worse shape than it started after hundreds of people put lots of time and money into volunteering for this big fundraiser event!</p>
<p>great lakes mom-- I hadn’t thought of it before, but my kids’ cooperative preschool is a big feeder into their Quaker elementary. That brings in a lot of parents who are alreay “trained” to participate.</p>
<p>Our elementary has a Fun Fair every May which raises in the neighborhood of $20K each year for scholarships. (We have about 120 in the school.) While it is a huge amount of work, it has been going on for decades so it pretty much runs like clockwork. The entertainments are old-fashioned (a maze, pony rides, fishing pond); the parents’ garage bands (some quite good) perform. We have developed some fabulous ethnic foods and make good money selling them. It is a relatively cheap, fun afternoon for young families and we have great turnout even among non-school families. We also run a big garage sale concurrently and that draws a few more. Of course, the biggest benefit is the community it builds among the school families.</p>
<p>I guess my point is this: it is really only an actual fundraiser if it actually RAISES funds. It’s not a fundraiser if you are using your own time and money to fund a program that you are supposed to benefit from. I have been in situations where I have spent fifty dollars on supplies and countless hours of labor to reap a return of 20 dollars. I am, of course talking about the kind of fundraiser that is trying to raise money to reduce travel expenses, etc. for a group. Where the proceeds are divided or the total cost of something is reduced. It just doesn’t make sense. There are other ways to build community that actually help people.</p>
<p>As far as parents helping out in schools…I am a teacher and am very lucky to have many parent volunteers but I don’t think it is the responsibility of any parent to come into the schools on a volunteer basis. There are a lot of children who do much better in class if mom is not in the room. Some kids need school and home to be separate domains. I realize that there are other ways to help besides being in the classroom but I guess part of what bothers me is the idea that we need parents at all. Part of me worries that the more we depend upon financial support and classroom help support from parents, the less help we will get from our own state and federal government.</p>
<p>One of the reasons I became so involved in my kids EC was because of the extensive hours they spent there (about 20hr/week). I used to joke that it was the only way I could see them. Two nights a week they were at school during the dinner hour. Why would I give someone else that time with my kids? Not every activity has the option to do this. Not every parent can. I was blessed to have the time I did.</p>
<p>Their EC does not do any direct fund raising. All donations are through corporate sponsorships. The students attend corporate events in conjunction with this. The parents do pay a yearly participation fee up front. No making birdhouses or selling tickets for anything. It’s a different approach.</p>
<p>I agree. I think what you are saying is fundraisers are fundraisers only if they encourage people to donate who would not normally or are outside the circle of people who benefit. If parents of children in school donate at a fundraiser, that’s really not a fundraiser because they would have donated anyway. But if people who have no children donate at benefit for schools, that is a fundraiser.</p>
<p>The problem is that…since the fundraiser is sponsored through a school organization and by people with children, it’s very difficult to provide an event that people without children would enjoy and want to partake in.</p>
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<p>This is a reasonable fear. It happened in the restaurant industry. The more waitresses get tipped, the greater the obligation on the patron to pay their salary and the less the obligation of the employer to pay a fair hourly wage.</p>
<p>Exactly! If you walked into my classroom you would (rightly) think it is pretty well equipped. But what you would not know is that almost all of the books, storage containers and countless supplies were purchased out of my own money. If every teacher truly depended on her school system to equip her classroom we would be working in very primitive environments, although I admit some towns and cities would be worse off than others.</p>
<p>Our public schools are in place to provide a “free and appropriate” education for every child and yet, teachers and PTOs make that happen through a lot of sacrifice and fundraising. It is sad that we have to think of the schooling of our nations children as a charity. I fear that the more responsibility we (teachers and volunteers) shoulder, the less critical the budget problems will appear to those holding the governmental purse strings.</p>
<p>I was catching up on this thread and came across this. Oh, my dear. If you had any idea how much of civic life in this country is run by volunteers. Schools, hospitals, non-profits, city, county, state, even federal government all rely heavily on volunteers. Did you know that 73% of American firefighters are volunteers? Many, many elected officials (small town concils, township boards, school boards, etc.) Most county commissions, state boards, even many federal commissions and boards are filled with volunteers. The woman who checks you into the hospital is most likely a volunteer, the guy who drives the Meals on Wheels van is a volunteer, the participants in the research study on colon health are volunteers, the bell ringer for the salvation army is a volunteer, the woman making costumes for the local dance company is a volunteer, the women serving beef and noodles at the funeral luncheon in the church basement are volunteers, the list goes on and on and on. If everyone stopped volunteering American life would grind to a halt. Everyday of your life is touched by volunteers and at the most critical times of your life.</p>
<p>My comments were in response to Bay’s remarks that EVERYONE has a responsibility to volunteer. I think the responsibily to give back falls upon those that consume the most products and services provided by volunteers.</p>
<p>There are people who live simple lives and whose lives aren’t touched by volunteers. They don’t go to church, they don’t go to the hospital, and other than shopping and work, they don’t get out of their house very much. These people have the lowest obligation to volunteer their time as they aren’t the people who are served by volunteers.</p>
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No, he or she is actually paid.</p>
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<p>They are paid as well. They also receive free medical care for their participation.</p>
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<p>Not in my town. That’s a union job and done by paid union workers. Small towns may be different.</p>
<p>Just to clarify…I have volunteered as a Salvation Army bellringer, and I was not paid. Our church provides the man/woman power behind the ringing at specific locations and specific time periods, as do other churches in our area. If there are no volunteers, the bells stop ringing.</p>
<p>This doesn’t make sense to me. If these people had “products and services” to spare they would not be relying on those provided by the volunteer agencies. </p>
<p>I don’t think that the obligation to volunteer is directly correlated to one’s use of other volunteers’ services. Where I live, the most generous volunteers are typically those who feel grateful for what they have in their lives and want to give back by helping others.</p>
<p>The Salvation Army still accepts volunteers to work as bell ringers, but the vast majority are paid.</p>
<p>If you do a Google search on paid bell ringers salvation army, you’ll find an ample number of articles that describe this. I considered working as one during Christmas break in college but opted not to.</p>
<p>Wow! I firmly believe it is not a responsibility to volunteer. I do believe that those who are at a season in their life to be the most help to their community are not relying most heavily on those services. When you are relying on the services, you are generally not in a position to provide volunteer assistance.</p>
<p>I am grateful to have had the time as a SAHM as I know this is not an option for all families, nor a choice that is right for all families. It was a season where I could help in my community in various areas and I hope it made a difference. I am in what I hope will be a short season where I am not able to help, and am happy that those with the time and energy are choosing to do so.</p>
<p>It is not an obligation, but I would argue the consumer/provider point… from where I am sitting right now, I would much rather be in the provider side of the equation. Those that think they are an island…work-home-work-home, will be very glad for the volunteers in the community in the event that their house goes up in flames.</p>
<p>I think it’s normal and typical that people both offer and consume volunteer services at the same time. Volunteering is not about being weathly and able and providing services to those who are unable or not wealthy. It may be in some cases but not all. For example, here are some examples that my family volunteered in the community to give back, while taking advantage of opportunities offered by others:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>My dad enrolled me in community ski lessons that were sponsored by adults who taught lessons for free. While he had kids in the program, he offered to be a ski instructor and teach the kids. He consumed the volunteer services by enrolling his kids in lessons, and also provided the services to others. Once his kids outgrew the program, it no longer made sense for him to teach and he stopped.</p></li>
<li><p>My mother enrolled us in the county 4-H program. A lot of exchaning and sharing went on. She taught sewing to other kids, while other parents taught me rocketry or woodworking. We all traded around volunteering our skills to others, and others help show me skills that my parents didn’t have themselves.</p></li>
<li><p>Local food banks often describe how the recipients of food also spend many hours at the food bank sorting and organizing the food donations. They are both providing servicers (time) at a similiar rate that they are consuming services (free food).</p></li>
<li><p>In an above example, church members offer their services to others in their church. They both provide and consume volunteer efforts of each other.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>I think these are reasonable and normal ways of volunteering, and surely support them.</p>
<p>My remark was in the context of volunteering at your children’s school, and has nothing to do with paying back other volunteers in general. Rather, giving your time to help your children’s school is a responsibility of parenthood. Of course you are free to disagree, but I believe there are studies that have shown that children do better in school when their parents volunteer. It is your parental responsibility to help your children do the best they can in school.</p>
<p>If your kids are getting As and doing great in school while you simply drop them off and pick them up, then you are lucky. But I hope you will at least take the time to thank all the parents who put in the time to make your kids’ school a better place, whether you think you benefit from their time or not. Your kids probably do, either directly or indirectly.</p>
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