<p>Ok, but it seems silly to spend time volunteering elsewhere when your kids’ school really needs your help.</p>
<p>“However, while your kids are in school, school is where you should be spending your free time and money”
Wow that’s a huge generalization that can’t possibly apply to everyone?
I can think of more than a few places where my free time and my money might be better spent right now. School volunteering is an option but there are very many good causes. Feeding your needy neighbors, or helping out the families who are dealing with severe health issues or caring for aging parents would certainly fall into that category for some people and communities.</p>
<p>By the same logic, it’s silly to donate money to charity when you can save for your kids college education.</p>
<p>We are discussing volunteering…doing work for no benefit to help an organization or cause of your choice…it is MY choice correct? You are really going to be so presumptuous as to tell someone that their role isn’t important in the soup kitchen while their kids are school age? Tell that to the families that rely on their help at the soup kitchen. Do you really want to get into the issue of time spent at a school vs church? It’s hard to get more personal. Rationalizations why? Because they don’t fit your idea of right? </p>
<p>I think people should feel very good about their charitable fit roles. You are suggesting the very thing we teach our students NOT to do. You are making volunteer work a chore. It is not, it’s a gift. My kids do volunteer…they actually do volunteer in the elementary schools, but that’s where their interest lies. Coaching young students to do the things they love. If another student had been sent that was ‘doing what they were supposed to’ but really wanted to be helping at the hospital, the hospital would have missed out on a willing and interested volunteer, and the school would have missed out on coach who is excited, talented, and will stay focused with the kids week after week, month after month. Set the students up with something they don’t feel strongly about, or worse steer them away from something they do because you feel another cause is more worthy, and they are going through the motions…just additing time to the community service clock. But will they come more often on their own, become invested, find more opportunities to do similar work in college? Not if they are forced to do the politically correct option over the one they actually care about.</p>
<p>I think that it’s wonderful that you’ve found something you feel strongly in. Others feel strongly about their choices and should never have those choices mandated to a certain season of their life.</p>
<p>babyontheway,
I don’t follow your reasoning that fundraising doesn’t directly help the students. The purpose of raising the funds is to benefit the students, with new and better supplies and educational opportunities - software, books, science lab supplies, kilns, band instruments, p.e. equipment, guest speakers, special ed assistants, counselors, recognition and awards, reflections competitions, academic pentathlon, scholarships, field trips to charities, new computers; and indirectly benefit them through faculty appreciation events and educational opportunities, school newsletters, parent education events… These are things our PTA funds, plus more.</p>
<p>My suggestion for you would be to contact your PTA President, or your principal and ask how you can best donate your time, within the parameters you have. Most schools would welcome new ideas for assistance that fit into your schedule as well.</p>
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<p>Fundraising is the act of raising funds. Turning children into traveling salesmen does not help them. In fact, time they spend on fundraising is time away from homework, practicing music, and other activities.</p>
<p>What you are saying is beneficial is what the money is used for. The students would benefit from those regardless of whether the funds were raised through fundraisers, paid through taxes, or donated by parents. </p>
<p>So my opinion is that fundraisers don’t help kids, but the money generated from a fundraiser might depending on what it is used for.</p>
<p>I will then turn the conversation around and say if raising funds is the primary goal why is the parent who makes the choice to make a monetary donation that far exceeds the value of the funds they would actually be raising while at the school (some use their hourly fee as a schedule) looked down on. They donate ‘X’ # of hours in a monetary gift to the school. In many cases for the school this is a far more lucrative, and yet it is still frowned upon as a ‘buy out’. But if raising funds is the goal…</p>
<p>Another poster made an excellent point that she would be happy to pick up volunteer hours for another parent, perhaps a pediatric dentist who has students at the school. That allows the dentist to have free clinic hours that benefit other members of the school community. The poster can’t perform the dental work, but she can work movie night. The community as a whole benefits. This is a perfect example of why not everyone’s best efforts are at the school each and every volunteer hour during their students school years. We live in a community that is largely filled with families with school age kids. If each and every one of us decided that other causes were less worthy than the school during these years, the community would suffer…families at the school would feel a difference in services they were receiving elsewhere. You can’t take away support from an entire group, pop it into one area of the community and expect the rest not to ripple.</p>
<p>FWIW, my grandparents volunteered from the day they retired teaching adults to read…the foundation of one’s ability to stand on your own and make a better life began in their mind with teaching adults who had never learned to read. That’s what mattered most. An amazing gift. Literacy was their passion. I have mine, and I encourage my kids to find their own. Just the act of moving beyond yourself to embrace your community on a regular basis is a habit they will have as adults, not a duty to be paid anywhere.</p>
<p>fly and blue,
Obviously if people are dying, your time is better spent helping them survive. You are over-exaggerating my point. I think it is extremely important to teach your children through your actions that education and their education is of premiere importance. I don’t see how volunteering at the school works as a detriment to your kids, unless you express to them how much you hate it and wish you didn’t have to be there.</p>
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<p>The funds are needed because taxes doesn’t cover it. The funds must be acquired somehow. Even if it is via direct parental donation, someone needs to contact the parents, collect the money, deposit it, figure out where it is needed and distribute it. This usually requires quite a few people. There is a lot that goes into spending money on students at school.</p>
<p>blue,
I don’t “frown” on buy-outs. I think they are a more than satisfactory alternative for people who can’t find the time. Unfortunately, all of the expenditures of the money raised require volunteers to execute them. Its one thing to raise $1000 for the pentathlon, but then have no parents to put the program on.</p>
<p>I’m simply disagreeing on the point that any one volunteer effort is more valuable than another…school, church, hospice. This is a personal choice. Working at the school isn’t a detriment to your kids at all. Neither are any of the other wonderful opportunities that my neighbors have chosen to support in our community. The point is, there is no ‘right’ answer, other than to do something to help others.</p>
<p>note… we crossed posts, I understand about the manpower. I hope Santa will send you some elves to help. Hopefully ones with warm hearts and willing hands. It all needs to be done.</p>
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<p>Yes, exactly. My feeling is that in many organizations, a fundraiser is an easy way to bring the entire organization together and give people a purpose. One person can coordinate and then everyone can participate by selling the trinkets/wrapping paper/etc.</p>
<p>I’ve been part of several organizations where it seemed like more energy was spent on raising money than on what to do with the money that was raised. And in college, I was part of some well off programs where the money was given to us, and we actually had a hard time trying to figure out what to do with the money we had!</p>
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<p>My point is (which I know you don’t agree with), that there is a right answer when your kids are in school. No one else (or at least very, very few others) other than current parents are going to step in and help the school. So you ought to be doing it while your kids are there.</p>
<p>If you read the articles, here are the things people complained about:</p>
<ul>
<li>Kitchen tour fundraiser </li>
<li>Scholastic book fair (Fundraiser)</li>
<li>Teacher appreciation week</li>
<li>Room mother (class party coordinator)</li>
<li>Cub scouts fall festival (fundraiser)</li>
<li>Donuts for Dads day (fundraiser)</li>
<li>Restuarant night, beach night, and movie night (fundraisers)</li>
<li>Design 5th grade t-shirt</li>
<li>Taught classes</li>
</ul>
<p>I think of all of these, teaching classes is about the only one that seriously benefits students. The majority of these events are fundraisers of one type or another.</p>
<p>I would rather my mother have slowed down a bit and taken care of herself instead of being supermom and destroying herself. She was literally the Girl Scout Leader who tore her elbow ligaments and ended up in PT for the rest of the year, but doggone it, she won the arm-wrestling round robin against the other leaders-- stubbornly dedicated, to a fault. At the reasonably young age of 62, she is a ward of the state, has lived in an assisted living facility for three years, and really hasn’t been able to be the mother I’ve needed over the past decade or so of her cognitive and physical decline.</p>
<p>Your mileage will certainly vary; mine is obviously the polar-extreme example. But this hits very closely to home for me. There is something to be said for slowing down, at least somewhat. Yes, volunteer, of course–but I’m not sure that a lot of the omnipresent parent volunteers self-moderate very well sometimes. Demands must be tempered. Parents can’t be it all, and if they try to the extent that they completely neglect their own well-being, then they’re neglecting the ultimate needs of their children, as well.</p>
<p>I think schools will always lack for volunteers if the volunteer opportunities are defined narrowly. Like all parents, I get emails for help – “we need cookies for teacher appreciation day this Tuesday – please drop them off in the lunchroom at 11:30”. I ignored it, because I work full time and can’t make a trip to the school in the middle of the day, then I realized – they just want the cookies to show up – they don’t really care if I bring them or someone else does. What I should have done is called the local bakery, ordered cookies, paid for them over the phone, and asked a friend or even DH to pick them up and bring them over. </p>
<p>One working mom told me to always sign up to bring paper goods. That way, you can buy them weeks in advance and drop them off at the school before you go to work (they’re not going to go bad). </p>
<p>It’s so easy to say no. We’re all busy. But I’m going to try to figure out some creative ideas to help. I wish the volunteer requests would be more broadly defined – something like, “we need help with this. We appreciate donations of time, energy, ideas, or cash.”</p>
<p>I hate to say it, but bringing cookies to the school isn’t something that directly benefits students.</p>
<p>And - since most teachers are slender, and you don’t stay slender by eating cookies - I’m not sure it’s the right way of showing appreciation. It’s been asked on many threads, but a sincerely written thank you note may show as much appreciation and require far less coordination.</p>
<p>I recognize that showing teacher appreciation is important. But when people are saying it’s a civic duty to volunteer, I don’t think they were referring to bringing cookies to the teachers lounge at 11:30 on a particular day.</p>
<p>I hate to say it, but bringing cookies to the school isn’t something that directly benefits students.</p>
<p>My daughter is a teacher & she complains about this.
She has enough food to to eat- but she and her fellow teachers feel * unappreciative *if they don’t eat treats, so they don’t feel they can toss them- but they don’t want to give them to the students either. ( cause of obesity/health/bahavior concerns)</p>
<p>I must say our middle school was great about a comprehensive list that included options for parents that needed early drop offs on teacher brunches. I did know the coordinator there so I felt comfortable emailing and asking do you still need X or is another item needed. A large tin of coffee with flavored creamers (which last a while in the fridge and leftover can be used in teacher lounges) was almost always appreciated.</p>
<p>I don’t know the hs coordinators as well, but I do have delivery (my kids). The Same seems to have worked. I received a nice email from an AP Chem teacher one year who was hooked on a flavored creamer and couldn’t find the variety in her store. Not one of my kids teacher, but the person communication was nice and I sent my student with a couple of bottles and a note where she could get it. </p>
<p>I would rather this approach of direct appreciation for their hard work than another form of support (outside what I did with my kids team). Pick and choose what feels right to you I guess. </p>
<p>Ironic that Bay and I do agree on time spent on where we spend our efforts. I think we respectfully agree to disagree on a few points. No need to restate those. I just wanted to bring back to the point that people can have very different ideas, but sometimes they really are not so different, and dare I say wish each other well. 
This is a point I think can be lost online and I try to remind myself of. I fall short. I do try to step back and see this.</p>
<p>EK4 - have your daughter and her fellow teachers been able to communicate this to the PTO, or are they receptive to a new approach? Nice items for the break room…bottled water, energy bars, low cal sodas (or another favorite), special teas? Combine his with donations for gift cards to Staples or Target? Anything that might be appreciated by your daughter and staff. Some Parent groups are open to change. Some have the idea that the Teacher Brunch must go on.
I don’t know, just a thought.</p>
<p>Interesting thread.</p>
<p>The comment not to be underestimated or underappreciated (and I say this as a former teacher):</p>
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<p>The rest of it is lagniappe (and yes my Cajun roots show up with that word :)). </p>
<p>The father who lost hourly wages to attend a conference - he spoke limited English and his wife, none - showed us all the importance he placed on his son and his son’s education. Kudos to that dad - and he truly needed to do no more.</p>
<p>Kudos also to the PTO president and the homeroom parent and the mom/dad who sends paper goods. (I taught K-1 and, honestly, I heard a child brag that their mom/dad sent the napkins - of equal importance in that child’s opinion to the contribution of the mom who coordinated the whole thing. LOL I do have to admit that napkins at a K-1 party rank high in value by the end of the day.)</p>
<p>All good - if you look at it in a “glass half full” way. IMHO!</p>