<p>Ok, how are parents dealing with the WL issues at this time? How are your kids dealing with it? Yes, he has deposited on 2nd choice, but only tells people is still Undecided. He is ok with 2nd choice, great merit, great school, Honors program admit. etc. But he feels like a 2nd class citizen at his private school as those of lesser creds were admitted to this school. They were legacy.</p>
<p>Again we reassure him that ROI and a JOB are far sexier, hotter and make for a better future ie.no debt either than attending the sexy school right out of the gate.</p>
<p>It is more peer pressure, as far as parent peer pressure, OMG, I am so over them and their 35 college visits! I told mine DS at the 10 yr HS reunion, your car will be paid for!( he will understand later on, right?)</p>
<p>So parents, how is it going at your house?</p>
<p>I would suggest your kid tell his friends he is going to Choice Number 2. He needs to start celebrating that!</p>
<p>If he happens to get off of the waitlist, he can tell them the happy new news when it happens.</p>
<p>Consider getting off the waitlist as winning a lottery.</p>
<p>It will be better once graduation is over and all the ballyhoo of who is going where where’s down.</p>
<p>My oldest is graduating college this year and my youngest is leaving for college next year. Guess which group thinks the name of the college matters?</p>
<p>Those who are still leaving, or the parents of the first kids to go to college. The rest of us know that by Thanksgiving they all love their school, and by next year, some of those who “won the lottery” will be coming back home to go to the local schools. Granted the local schools are quite good, but still…</p>
<p>Just leave it be and talk to him about where he “will” be going yourself as if it is an exciting foregone conclusion.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Does he really, truly want to attend an institution that passed him over on the first round for a bunch of dummy-head legacies? Just sayin’.</p>
<p>“If you can’t be with the one you love…love the one you’re with.” My D didn’t get into any of her “favorite” schools and, three years later, she can’t imagine herself anywhere else. Kids need to learn how to live with disappointment at some point in their lives. Many of our kids have been so “protected” that this might be their first taste of disappointment, but not their last. Life goes on…</p>
<p>Go all in and celebrate “2nd choice, great merit, great school, Honors program!”</p>
<p>D is at 5th choice school and it is PERFECT for her and far stronger in her major than the other 4 that were higher on her original list. She did get into one of them off the WL and decided not to go. WL is a lottery; I would advise against investing any more mental energy into it. </p>
<p>Without wanting to minimize what your S is feeling (we had some sad days after the rejections/WL), do your best to move on. Hindsight is a wonderful thing (as is less debt)! </p>
<p>CONGRATS</p>
<p>High school is almost over and kids will start scattering. If his good friends know where he is attending then I wouldn’t be too concerned if he’s bending the truth to other kids in his high school. The hoopla really does die down during the summer and then they are all spread around. By Christmas the conversation is more about the experiences (and which kids aren’t going back in January) and by the next summer no one cares. </p>
<p>It’s zero sum to be waiting around waiting for wait lists. My S accepted a waitlist at a school that last year put thousands on the waitlist and took around 50 off. But I honestly think my son has completely forgot he accepted the waitlist and he turned down one other waitlist. The odds are not good at many, many colleges/unis. If it happens, celebrate, but make sure as a family unit you are pointed at the school where he deposited.</p>
<p>I could not agree more. Right now your son is in emotional limbo. That’s the worst place you could be. A dear friend of my son (well, the entire family is close with ours for 15years) was deferred ED to his top choice then WLd…he IS a legacy, this is not a lottery school, and he lives, breathes, and bleeds this school. He had to move on and pick another school that has also picked him. It was a huge moment at a recent awards ceremony where he got a very big award and he announced his school with a big smile. There’s a lot of ‘fake it til you make it’ going on, but he’s getting there. You have to help your son start this journey now. He’s not undecided…he knows where he’s going. The longer he goes without committing to that emotionally the harder it’s going to be. There is a school that can’t WAIT to have him, where he will do great things, and meet other top achieving students like himself. We hear continually, the success is not in the school, it’s in the student. If your son goes out seeking opportunities to succeed, they will be there for him. It has to start by no longer saying he’s undecided.</p>