<p>You said you went on vacation with him and his family before. How did that go? Were you two ever alone? Did he ever try and put a move on you? </p>
<p>I know that there can be such things as strictly platonic friendships, but a teenage boy and a teenage girl together on vacation will usually still have some kind of sexual tension. Not acting on it is one thing, but for it to not even be there for one person is weird.</p>
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<p>Nope. HE threw in the towel, and you are trying to hand it back to him when he does not want it. Plus, I think you called him on his “drama” by deciding not to go on this vacation as a threesome. That could be one reason he is feeling done with you – you don’t want to let him play his games any more.</p>
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<p>Lots of communication comes in action, not words. His actions seem to be communicating/speaking pretty clearly right now.</p>
<p>To be honest, he was probably looking for a reason to break off the friendship. It’s annoying to have two close friends when they don’t get along. </p>
<p>Do yourself a favor (and I mean this lovingly, as you can’t tell tone on computers) and just move on. You want more with him than you’re ever going to have. Until you can move on from those feelings (which he clearly does not share), you’re never going to have a good friendship.</p>
<p>But, technically, since SHE was the one to bail on the vacation and then tell him that they needed a break, didn’t SHE throw in the towel? And maybe now she wishes that she hadn’t? </p>
<p>OP, it is hard, but you have to live with your decision. You obviously were fed up with his games, so you left. There’s always going to be that “what if” factor, and nothing will ever allow you to know what would have happened if you didn’t do what you did. Now you’ve gotta live, laugh and love again.</p>
<p>You behaved like a jealous, possesive girlfriend, and when stomping off in a failed attempt to get his attention didn’t work, and asking for him to notice you again didn’t work, you’ve invested in this idea that if you try again, it will work.</p>
<p>Life is not a movie, and he is not interested in you romantically. You are kidding yourself if you believe you want to go back to being friends…this is a girl thing, that desire to stay friends after a breakup. as a mom of boys, i can tell you they find it annoying, insensitive, and confusing.</p>
<p>anyway. If you are meant to grow a friendship again, it will happen. Don’t let your regret fuel another bad attempt. You wish you hadn’t walked away — that’s something we all deal with and get through. You can too.</p>
<p>and why is your mom mad for him leaving you at a mall? did you not explain that you asked to be left?</p>
<p>Of course I explained everything to my mom. She actually told me not to go in the first place to avoid all of this, but of course I didn’t listen to her. </p>
<p>She was just angry because she didn’t think he’d actually let me sit there. The mall was a planned stop, so all parties going were there. I guess my mom expected him to wait with me or something. I dunno. I personally was indifferent about it. </p>
<p>In general, I feel like he’s also being dramatic about all of this. People bail on you all the time; c’est la vie. He still had another friend to keep him company, and he didn’t have to juggle two friends who don’t really talk to each other. </p>
<p>I think I did make the right decision. The vacation wouldn’t have been the same as the other one (it was just his immediate family and I last time, and we had a lot of fun. It was like I was kid #4) and sometimes, you need to put yourself first. </p>
<p>I still feel guilty about it, but I wonder if I even ought to.</p>
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<p>It sounds as if you were allowing your hopes that your friendship with this guy would turn into something more to get in the way of developing a new life on campus. IMO, that’s a mistake. </p>
<p>The guy knows how you feel about him. If he’s not gay and decides that he wants something more from your relationship, there’s nothing in the way of him making his move.</p>
<p>Don’t be annoying…stay away from him…and get involved in campus life.</p>
<p>OP what you need to do is:
•Remove him from your life
•Better yourself
Do some inward searching. Set some goals up for yourself. Better yourself.
•See if you want him back in your life</p>
<p>Odds are if you complete these steps correctly, you’ll see that you don’t. You’ll see he isn’t worry your time. You’ll see that you have better things to focus on. You’ll see that you’re happier because you made yourself happy.</p>
<p>This won’t take two weeks. This’ll take at minimum two months for you to start seeing changes within yourself. Let time pass. Let life happen.</p>
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<p>I think this is where you’re making some mistakes, and I’m starting to see a pattern. Real friends do NOT bail on you all the time. If you enable other friends to do this, then it starts to make sense that you have low expectations in regards to this friendship - you are willing to dismiss your own needs in order for him to come back to you. I guess if I were you, I’d be asking myself why I allow other people to treat me this way, and not be so accepting of friendships where people bail on me all the time. And if you’re that kind of friend to other people, then don’t be surprised if you are unable to make the kinds of connections and relationships someone your age should be making. You should have much higher expectations of how people should treat you. Frankly, if people bailed on me all the time, they would not be my friends, nor would I continue to give them the time of day.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to be annoying or diminishing, but whenever you think of him, think of this song:</p>
<p><a href=“http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5QYxuGQMCuU&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5QYxuGQMCuU[/url]”>Michael Bublé - It's A Beautiful Day [Official Music Video] - YouTube;
<p>(it’s Michael Bubl</p>
<p>Harvest, it perplexes me that the forum approved two usernames so similar. Every time i come across one of your posts i say 'I don’t remember writing that"!!</p>
<p>Op, no advice from me. I just want to acknowledge that a broken heart even when confused hurts. A lot. Saying just move on doesn’t make it easier. But you will move on. And it will get easier.</p>
<p>I do the same thing sometimes, to be honest!! I’ve always wondered about that too. We have practically the same name minus a couple capital letters and a number at the end.</p>
<p>Do yourself a huge favor and move on. It sounds like he enjoys the drama and the manipulation. I agree with teriwitt about “[P]eople bail on you all the time.” No they don’t. You shouldn’t do it and you shouldn’t tolerate it in others. I’m not sure you have experienced a true friendship yet. Let people know how you expect to be treated and hold them to it.</p>
<p>I think you need to think hard, and consider if he is actually gay. Has he had girlfriends, does he seem interested in women in a physical way? Most young men would have at least shown serious interest in some women by now. And if he is gay, he may have been a little freaked out by you showing romantic interest in him.</p>
<p>I say, the best revenge is a life well lived. He might love having the drama of a friend pining after him, but if he sees you living exuberantly and happily without bemoaning his loss, he may be more interested in renewing your friendship. Sometimes we just outgrow our friends, and if yours is treating you badly, don’t suffer. Find other friends that will appreciate you.</p>
<p>I think i have been in a similar situation. So i sympathise. We all have that one person in which you constantly think ‘what if?’, know that one guy who you wonder will say the same things to others as he says to you, or treat other girls as he treats you, and while the general consensus here is to forget it and move on, it is much easier said than done especially when you believe you haven’t sort out the ‘what if?’ part yet, and forgetting it essentially means giving up that whole part of you that wants to find out, and has the potential to find out. Some situations are more nuanced than ‘he’s a bad friend’.</p>
<p>Whether he’s gay or not is irrelevant. Either way, he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you. In fact, he doesn’t seem to even want a friendship with you.</p>
<p>I’d say move on with your life, OP. Get new friends. One day, when you stop being in love with him, you can think about reaching out to him again. Even if you somehow rekindled your friendship now, you’d be stuck in the same position you were before.</p>
<p>My take is that the guy knows how OP feels about him after the vacation blow up. If he is gay, he may not be ready to come out yet, but at the same time wants OP to move on because he knows he could never give her the kind of relationship she wants. I know OP is hurting now and she wants the relationship to be back the way it was, but she needs to wait for her ex-friend to make the next move. </p>
<p>D1 had a good guy friend in high school. She asked him to the prom “as a friend,” but I think he thought D1 had extra feeling for him. He acted horribly toward her at the prom and before the prom. D1 didn’t speak with him for over 6 months even though they they ran in the same circle. His parents actually apologized to D1 for his behavior. Eventually they started speaking to each other again. Six years later, they are still very good friends. They visited each other in college. After college, even with their very busy schedule, they make a point of seeing other whenever possible. Both of them have had BF/GF and very supportive of each other (of course D1 called one of his GFs a bimbo and she was). </p>
<p>I think it is hard to go back to the way it was when there is romantic feeling from either side. While OP may still have that feeling it would be very hard to go back.</p>
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<p>This reaction bothers me. A true friend would have understood why you wanted to back out, or at least would have tried to understand. His reaction is of someone who is controlling. My guess is, if you look back over the years, as long as you did what he wanted, the relationship flourished.</p>
<p>I also don’t like that he and his family were all too willing to just drop you off at a mall three and a half hours from your home, and at least not offer to wait with you. I can’t imagine doing that to anyone, no matter how I felt about them.</p>
<p>I’m also in the camp that believes he may be gay. The gay men that I know love to hang out with girls and do not have male friends, unless they are gay also. He may not have come to terms with this himself. Maybe subconsciously he wanted two women with him, so he would not be expected to perform.</p>