<p>@FlyMeToTheMoon “so he would not be expected to perform”</p>
<p>Too funny. Is that really how men view it? A performance? Think i may have just learned something!</p>
<p>OP - I think most of us can completely understand the broken heart you’re feeling, the unrequited love. His sexual orientation is almost irrelevant. He’s made it clear “he’s just not that into you”. Go buy that book today, and then pour yourself a large glass of wine and listen to Bonnie Raitt’s I can’t Make You Love Me (if you don’t). </p>
<p>If I can offer a piece of advice, cry about it, ruminate about it, but get out there and make some new friends and find a guy who loves you as you are. You deserve to be loved in a way this guy will not. You cannot be “just friends”, you already passed that threshold.</p>
<p>As much as it would be nice to go back to the days of innocence and childhood, you can’t. In time you won’t be so brokenhearted and yearn for him so much and then you perhaps can reconnect. But don’t do that until you are on solid footing.</p>
<p>My d has a really good guy friend and it won’t shock me someday to find out he’s gay. But my hubby always says, he’s either got to be gay, or he’s completely in love with D and she’s breaking his heart all the time. They’re so incredibly close it’s really a lovely friendship. She has a boyfriend and truly sees him as a friend, I almost pray that he is gay. I love this boy and I hope it’s truly platonic for him.</p>
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<p>I thought about that book when reading this thread. OP definitely ought to get a copy.</p>
<p>I do think sexual orientation does make a difference. If he’s gay, he’ll never be interested in you. If he’s straight, perhaps he’s involved with someone else, or just not interested at this time. It’s a completely different scenario, but certainly, you should go on with your life and not let this torment you.</p>
<p>My first thought was the same as EmeraldKity4 - he is not interested in girls and is very confused.</p>
<p>Move on. He isn’t your best friend. You just want him to be your best friend. He’s hostile also, based on the passive-aggressive tweet.</p>
<p>There may be a time you can reconnect. Just wish him well and move on.</p>
<p>Its sad. It hurts. Its a loss. Grieve it. But dont try to resurrect it right now.</p>
<p>LOL HarvestMoon1:</p>
<p>For a gay guy, it would be a performance!</p>
<p>I had a very good guy friend from middle school through sophomore year of college. He happened to be gay, and I was never romantically interested in him, so it’s a different situation-- but he was my BESTEST best friend ever for the longest time. In sophomore year we got into a fight that should have been little but for some reason it exploded into the fight to end all fights and we didn’t speak for a year. At some point he messaged me and apologized and we decided we wanted to be friends again, but it was never the same. It had been a very unhealthy friendship for years before the blow up and I hadn’t realized it, and when we tried again it had become much more clear. We ended up getting into another big fight in a few months, after never really connecting again anyway, and we haven’t spoken since. I doubt we ever will again. We are just not the same people anymore and we are not able to be as bonded as we used to be.</p>
<p>In hindsight, he is just about the biggest loser of a jerk I’ve ever met. He was a good friend and a lot of fun in high school but he had his flaws and he has really imploded as a person, he’s just not a good person anymore. So I am glad we’re not friends and I wouldn’t want to be anymore. But I still miss my friend from high school all the time. I am getting married this summer and it is so odd to me that he won’t be there, even though I know the person he is today is not the same person I grew up with.</p>
<p>If you feel like you’re never going to get over this, maybe you won’t. And maybe that’s okay. I am never really going to stop missing my friend and regretting our fight, but in time it stopped hurting and I moved on. You will, too, and I really think it’s for the better-- especially with your romantic feelings. He is not a good friend for you. Miss him as much as you want, but you need to go through the motions of moving on-- go on with your life, go to class, go to work, make new friends-- and before you know it you will feel better without realizing it happened. That’s really all you can do and it’s the best thing for yourself, you will be so much happier if you move on than if you keep pursuing him.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, </p>
<p>I’d like to thank you all again for your responses. It’s been very helpful. </p>
<p>I’ve had some more time to mull things over, and I indeed need to just move on. It won’t ever be the same, and even if it were, I’d be just as unhappy as before. </p>
<p>It’s not easy, but it’s life, I guess. Hopefully I can learn my lessons from this. </p>
<p>Thanks again. :)</p>
<p>That’s a very mature attitude. I can guarantee you that sometime in the future you will look back on this and realize it was a good thing. It might be years from now, but it will happen.
(((hugs))))</p>