Hello, I’m not a parent but I thought the parent forum would be the most appropriate place to put this.
I sort of want to be more active in terms of my presence, not only here, but also when talking to people not in person (be it through here, snapchat, reddit, text, email, etc). I’ve had this topic in mind for a few days, but I’ve put it off making it for a days. The few times I’ve posted in the pasted have always given me a sense of dread both before and after making the post, with replying to another post giving me a feeling of even greater dread. Basically, I find it really really hard to actually make the move and say something because I’m terrified of the outcome, even though 9 times out of 10 it’s never as bad as it seems, and it’s primarily for things like social media or message boards.
So I’m wondering if you guys have any coping mechanisms for this because you seem like both smart people and somewhat active posters based off of my lurking experience. I’ll try my best to provide more information if anyone needs it. Thanks
I heard a speaker share something a few years back that really helped me:
"When I was in my 20s, I was afraid to do much because I cared what other people thought of me.
In my 30s, I decided I really didn’t care what other people thought of me.
In my 40s, I finally realized that NOBODY ELSE IS THINKING ABOUT ME."
It’s really true - people are so focused on themselves that what you do just doesn’t matter that much. It would be a shame for you not to ask questions here or other places just because you’re worried about people’s reactions. And so what if a stranger is a little abrupt? Does it matter?
Thunder, just dive in. Just do it. Comment on a few things that interest you. Then maybe if something comes up you want to ask or share, from as simple as “What kind of dishwasher do you recommend” to “This current event occurred - what are your thoughts” (and of course, anything college-related), post a thread. Pretty soon, you will be a prolific poster!
It’s a great way to have adult contact at times in life when you just can’t, you know? Little kids, up in the middle of the night, after surgery…
Stop and think before you post. Post only positive things in the beginning-- congratulations, “likes” and things like that-- posts that don’t carry the risk that anyone will disagree or get snarky. Build your confidence that way, until you can branch out and actually offer opinions and help for others.
Hey guys, my bad for the late reply, I was thinking really hard about what to write.Either way, I would like to thank all of you for the pieces of advise you gave me.
I think the internet is different from real life because you can’t show off your personality or style as well as you can in person, which sort of makes it scary to say things because you might not be seen as who you normally present yourself as.
I totally understand this. Early on, I accidentally stepped on a few metaphorical toes, when I did not intend to do that. But it has been okay, in the overwhelming majority of cases.
Your voice is welcome here! Once you start, you will find that it gets much easier.
As a side benefit in my case, 7,500+ posts later, I also find it somewhat easier to compose messages that I need to send for work as well.
^^But you’re anonymous online, so what does it matter what people think of you? You won’t meet them in real life (unless you want to - I’ve met several CCers in real life - they’re nice people!).
