<p>We haven’t been to many weddings recently. Received an invite for a nephew’s wedding yesterday - my H’s sister’s son - the reception invite says “Adult Reception” - nothing else.</p>
<p>Just curious what your interpretation of “adult reception” is. To me, it means no children, there will be free flowing alcohol (which I do believe will be the case here) and no chicken nuggets. ( ) My D2 will have just turned 16 - does she make the cut??? (I can guarantee you that she will be more mature than many of the “adults” there!!!)</p>
<p>I just hate the ambiguity of “adult reception”. Just so happens that my H does not have the best relationship with his siblings so I am not sure if we would plan to attend the reception (church, yes) and I definitely would feel awkward asking. We don’t drink ourselves so honestly WE don’t love being in situations where there is lots of drinking around us. Nothing fully against it, it’s just not “us”! </p>
<p>My thought is that the marrying couple are in their early 30’s and that they have oodles of friends with very small children who they do not want present. Is that a decent assumption???</p>
<p>My niece was married last year and her “adult reception” was pretty much anyone under 21, even first cousins who were in college. There was a lot of heavy drinking and partying. I would say your D is too young.</p>
<p>Mr and Mrs and Family - at least that is what was on the outer envelope - I’ll have to study all the inserts better when I get home.</p>
<p>“Family” I would assume means all 3 of our kids since they wouldn’t have D1’s address though she doesn’t live at home. She is 24, S will have just turned 21 and then D2, 16.</p>
<p>That does make it more ambiguous. You might show the invite to your daughter; chances are that she doesn’t really care about going. (I don’t think my teenager would want to attend an “adult reception” especially if they are not close family members.) If she’s not interested, problem solved.</p>
<p>Nope, no one else here besides H, me and three kids.</p>
<p>It was actually D2 (the one turning 16) who noted the “adult reception” note. And her comment was, “guess that gets me off the hook!” . </p>
<p>I can assure you that if she is not invited, the rest of us won’t attend the reception either. In fact, my H will be STEAMING at this (another reason for him to shake his head at his siblings). </p>
<p>Which is fine. We can all go to the church and send a card/gift. A wedding reception with lots of drinking , dancing, and loud music will be the most awkward and last place my H will want to be!!!</p>
<p>Clarify what is meant before you decide on your next step. And remember, is the the couple’s party.</p>
<p>CC is your place to vent, but remember 2 things:</p>
<p>1) This is a teaching moment for your children and they will note how you handle it</p>
<p>2) H’s family will remember how you handled it forever. If your 16 yr old is not invited, might it not be a good idea for you and H to put in a brief appearance, keep your feelings to yourself, and then handle the invites in your own way at your own daughter’s future weddings?</p>
<p>Is it a sitdown dinner? My interpretation is one generation only unless your kids are adults and peers (friends) of the marrying couple. I view it more as an attempt to save money than to shield innocent children from an adult party. We ran into this same issue at my cousin’s wedding… 45 years ago. I really wasn’t invited but my parents brought me anyway. :D</p>
<p>When family members get married now - and I am talking about my 2nd cousins’ children, if my kids are not invited to the reception and they barely knew their 3rd cousins, we are not offended.</p>
<p>That’s probably the wedding reception that will take place, so it sounds like you are all “off the hook”. </p>
<p>In your position, I wouldn’t go. I would just attend the wedding, and that would be it. The couple is basically saying, all of you with children not drinking age can just go home. Sooooo, that’s exactly what I would do! :)</p>
<p>We have had multiple weddings in our family the past few years. Some people come to the wedding but not the reception. It’s no big deal. I certainly wouldn’t be offended with a polite, we’re going to attend the wedding - looking forward to it so much. We will not be able to make the reception.</p>
<p>Ditto post #8–I would go and let D "off the hook! If D wants to go, I would just be polite and simply ask for a clarification. And I don’t really know why H would be steaming.</p>
<p>I fully understand and agree that it is the marrying couple’s decision how to have their event - fully. </p>
<p>I just am not sure how to interpret the invite. And to be honest, going to the event - whether all of us or some of us is going to be awkward anyway (between the strained relationship and the "partying’ which we personally are very awkward with) - so that just adds fuel to the “not sure what to do”.</p>
<p>Maybe be weird to some of you, but my family of 5 is a very “do things together” type of family - we enjoy each other and just don’t tend to disclude members for events such as this. Again, I know attendance at this is not our call, it’s just not in our comfort zone to leave members out.</p>
<p>Did it have a response card. If you want to go, RSVP for 5 and then the ball is in their court. If they don’t want the younger kid to come then they can address it. If the older kids don’t want to come, just put down 3 and they can guess which kid is coming.</p>
<p>Don’t worry too much about this, most people ignore what the wedding invitation says. I’m thinking they are talking about little kids, not the teenagers. I think when the bridal couple was wording the invitation they didn’t think how it would affect those in that middle zone, not a kid and not an adult either. As this is family, I would assume it meant your whole family.</p>
<p>Then go to the wedding and make up a nice excuse to not go to the reception. Or go (all of you to the reception) say your congrats, lovely wedding but we have to leave ( with another nice made up excuse if even necessary).</p>
<p>I would find out beforehand if they are doing dinners or whatever before going with deb922 advice–I’d hate to have someone pay for 5 dinners that no one was planning on eating. that certainly wouldn’t help with already strained relationship!</p>
<p>Just go to the wedding, since that’s your preference anyway.</p>
<p>However, I recently thought I had a similar dilemma. My cousin’s daughter is getting married. We know her welll, having been her “family away from family” since she came to UMCP, and she has been at Thanksgiving and Passover with my family for years, along with her fiance. When the shower invitation came and I saw the link for the wedding website, I checked it out and saw that the reception was described as “adults only.” I began to stew and stew. Adults only? But one of my daughters is just-turned-17. Does that mean she is not invited? Just her sister? And wait, what about the bride’s first cousins? She is the oldest of a brood ranging from 25-ish down to, I think, 9 or 10. Are they not coming? It’s a very close family! And WHAT ABOUT THE BRIDE’S 11 year-old SISTER? </p>
<p>Turns out my daughters and all the cousins are invited…in fact all the girl cousins, and my girls who are 2nd cousins, are going to be IN the wedding.</p>
<p>I assume the “adults only” referred to the small children of their peers. </p>
<p>In the case of your invitation, I’d probably be willing to assume the same if I wanted to go–just RSVP the number in your party. But since you don’t want to go…just go to the ceremony and wish them well.</p>
<p>I would say that since they included your “family” that all of your children are invited. My assumption would be that they did not want little kids–10 an under little. Our wedding was that way, we’ve been to many weddings that were that way. Never bothered us because we didn’t mind having an evening away from the kids and the kids had great babysitters they liked. We were just at a cousin’s wedding and the space was limited and they asked if we minded that our adult children were not invited. Didn’t bother me in the least because it was their wedding and not about me. My sister, on the other hand would have been livid if her darlings were not invited so they were :D.</p>
) My D2 will have just turned 16 - does she make the cut??? (I can guarantee you that she will be more mature than many of the “adults” there!!!)</p>