<p>My daughter was just telling me about a friend of hers who is having trouble with her MIL to be while planning her wedding. The bride and groom found a venue for their wedding a picked a date on a holiday weekend as they wanted people to stay in town for the day Sunday, and not have to rush back to work. The bride wanted a smallish wedding without tons of people that she didn’t know. B&G made their list and it came to about 60 people; the brides parent’s list was also about 60 people. In comes MIL with a list of 175 people and she says there in no way she can cut the list at all!! Bride isn’t happy plus the cost for that many people is too much for the venue. MIL decides she will pay for half the wedding so that her guest can attend. Well that means MIL gets to make 50% of the decisions of the wedding, which I bet also means she makes the final decision on things just hearing about her! Even with her paying half of the wedding, the venue is not a possibility; now bride will have to find a new venue as well as a new wedding day.</p>
<p>I know the bride doesn’t want to start a fight with her new MIL, but you would think the groom could have some balls and back up his bride. My husband says the groom is in a hard place between his bride and mother; I know my son would do whatever his GF wanted over me ;)</p>
<p>The bride is a sweet girl and so are her parents; I feel bad that she is having to go through this, but it has allowed my daughter and I to have an open discussion as one day she might be in the same predicament!</p>
<p>I just read that story out out to my H (since we’re up to our ears in all things wedding) and he said–“that’s going to end up in divorce”.</p>
<p>No way should the groom consider himself caught between his bride and his mother–this is not his mother’s wedding. The idea of changing a venue and making this a 300 person wedding to satisfy the MIL is nuts!</p>
<p>Yes. It’s sad that there’s a mother of a groom (or bride) anywhere who would rather have her own way than do everything in her power to get the young couple off to a happy, independent start. My d’s MIL and I fell all over ourselves not having opinions when our kids were planning a wedding a couple of years ago.
My d was married on Saturday evening over a Columbus Day weekend, which seemed to work well for all concerned. People came to Virginia from FL, CT, NY, and PA, and seemed to appreciate having an extra day to travel or recover. The venue wasn’t less expensive, according to my daughter.</p>
<p>I’ve been to a Thanksgiving weekend wedding recently and didn’t mind.</p>
<p>Our family appreciates weddings during 3-day weekends because so many of us travel in from distant locations, and stay overnight in nearby hotels, to attend each others’ functions. Wedding locations are generally in bride’s parents home community, so no snazzy destination weddings. Travelling guests have more options to book air travel, or traverse long distances over ground, with a 3-day, rather than 2-day window. YMMV.</p>
<p>Every family wedding we have been to in the last 27 years has involved travel of at least 1000 miles. Holiday weekend weddings meant one day less of missed school/work.</p>
<p>3 day holiday weekends work well for Jewish weddings which may be on Sunday instead of Saturday. </p>
<p>I dislike the concept of destination weddings, though. Maybe I don’t WANT to vacation with the other people involved. I’d never have put my parents and in-laws on vacation together.</p>
<p>College acquaintance had 700. Four hours in the receiving line. Mostly business contacts of the parents. I guess that works in some parts of the country.<br>
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<p>Our D’s wedding isn’t, by my lights, a destination wedding, but the extended family is treating it as such, in a good way. It’s in Cape May, which is where D grew up going to on extended family vacations, we have family there, and H and I have a second (and hopefully soon only) home there. It being a beach with so much sentimental and familial attachments, that it made sense to hold it there. We worried that people would resent the travel, especially as the groom’s large family all live closer to North Jersey, where the couple live. However, everyone’s turned it into a beach vacation–they’re either taking out extended motel stays, or renting beach houses for the week. It actually turns out that we will end up with a larger than expected turn out from the G’s family because of this.</p>
<p>Thanks for the posts on holiday weekend weddings. I just wondered. My H absolutely detests them. He’s one of the people who thinks they are rude. Glad to see they work for some families.</p>
<p>I’m all about destination weddings as long as the invite list is very small - think nuclear families. Parents and siblings. I hope all my kids do a destination wedding! Not likely though!</p>
<p>We are going to an out of town wedding…very close family friend. It is taking place at a summer home of the bride…2000 miles away from the groom’s family and about 800 miles away from the bride’s. Technically it’s NOT a destination wedding…but we are really looking forward to spending some time in the area where this wedding is happening. Reservations already made…and NO our kids weren’t invited…thank goodness!</p>
<p>Holiday weddings, it would depend on which holiday. I wouldn’t be thrilled with a Christmas or Thanksgiving weekend event, but Columbus day or MLK Day, or even Labor Day or memorial day would be fine with me!</p>
<p>Our wedding was on July 6th, so the 4th was on a Thursday. The feedback I got on the date was uniformly positive: those who wanted to could take the intervening day and make a relaxing weekend of it. Particularly good for anyone travelling. Of course, our wedding was very small: only 50 people.</p>
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<p>I will make wedding favors (truffles), I will make the cake, I’ll arrange flowers, I will even cater, but I will not hand over a check for $25K, or anything close to it. :)</p>
<p>Thumper–that sounds like how many people are treating D’s wedding–not really a “destination wedding” but a great destination to hang around and enjoy.</p>
<p>My future MIL has been pushing us since we pretty much started dating to get married in a Catholic church and to have a “proper” and “formal” wedding. She’s been politely, but firmly, told several times by myself, her son, and her husband to butt out. There’s not even a real ring involved yet! Her oldest son and his fiance are now officially engaged. I’m waiting to see how it plays out in order to prepare myself for our future union.</p>
<p>The reason that holiday weddings haven’t been appreciated in my family is because one was on Memorial Day and another on Labor Day (weekends). These are big travel times and since family drives in, the drives have been terrible. Plus, a lot of us use Labor Day as the last fun weekend before school starts. It’s just not been well-received.</p>
. It’s been universally hated in my family. YMMV.</p>
Not likely though!</p>