<p>I don’t know if this is a regional custom or what, but it seems that lavish weddings that are for the benefit of the COUPLE, instead of for the benefit of the GUESTS, are now the norm. I think it is probably due to the shelfishness of the younger generations. I sound old now, but I can remember when the bride and groom thanked everyone individually; the pictures were taken so as not to interfer with the guests enjoyment of the day, and the guests were actually treated as guests! Now-a-days, it seems like the guests are invited only for how much money they can fork over for the cost of the event. I’ve even known brides who bemoan their guests attire, or their guests gifts, or lack there-of. Some brides are even bemoaning sending a “thank-you” note because they think coming to the wedding is thank you enough!</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s any real difference between the lavish weddings of my generation and the lavish weddings of today. Some people have always liked to entertain lavishly; that’s nothing new, and there isn’t some magical mythical time where it was all simpler and by inference more meaningful. </p>
<p>If anything, I think weddings today have a lot fewer “rules” than they used to and people can show their individuality a lot more, which is great. In my day, you “had” to have white or cream formal invitations, you “had” to have all your bridesmaids in long taffeta dresses of the same color, you “had” to serve beef to show that you were treating your guests to a good time, you “had” to have flowers on the tables, etc. I think it’s great that there is a lot more latitude and personalization for all these things. Why not have a tablescape with shells or fossils or books or whatever is meaningful / relevant to the couple? Why not have dresses that girls can wear again? Why not have barbecue or sushi or whatever the couple likes to eat / serve?</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I went to a lunch event today with a bunch of women from my office (all big-firm lawyers who go to lots of events), and the consensus on wedding favors was “not necessary, but greatly appreciated when chocolate is involved.” (We also all agreed that wedding-favor chocolates don’t have calories, so long as you eat only your own and your husband’s/S.O.'s.)</p>
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<p>I think that a couple needs to find a balance when planning a wedding that pleases them and also strives to make the guests feel welcome and comfortable. I have been to a few weddings where there is a lot of emphasis on “insider information” such as private jokes that only the couple and their closest friends know, etc. It leaves others feeling out of the loop and awkward. As in the example of “covering the plate” the couple need to keep in mind that a wedding is guest is a GUEST. Their guest! It’s the job of the host and hostess to treat guests well. It’s not just about that one day, it’s about a relationship.</p>
<p>The best wedding favors are one or two of my truffles. I doubt that anyone throws them away or gives them to children. 
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<p>Julie, I went to the Morex web site and found that they linked to three or four suppliers of their ribbon for those of us who are not going to be regularly ordering hundreds of dollars worth. I may be using them myself, since JKM has not yet delivered what I ordered before Thanksgiving, and I am almost out of the purple ribbon that matches my boxes. 
This seller doesn’t say that it’s Morex, but I can tell by the colors and color numbers:</p>
<p>[Organdy</a> Sheer Ribbon](<a href=“http://www.overthemoonribbons.com/organdy-sheer-ribbon-choice-of-7-widths-and-over-50-colors/]Organdy”>Organdy Sheer Ribbon)</p>
<p>Here’s another:</p>
<p>[Sheer</a> Organdy - the Ribbon Curl - Decorative Ribbon Store](<a href=“http://www.theribboncurl.com/Style.asp?NStyle=918&NGroup=1&NName=Sheer]Sheer”>http://www.theribboncurl.com/Style.asp?NStyle=918&NGroup=1&NName=Sheer)</p>
<p>I prefer the 1 1/2" width for most purposes. You do NOT need wired ribbon, and in fact it would be less desirable for your application. Don’t waste the money. My advice: buy 100 yard rolls, and get more than you think you will need. It is astonishing how much ribbon one can use, and given the price and the fact that you like the colors anyway, leftovers will be used to wrap presents and decorate things in the future. Don’t skimp. </p>
<p>You would probably use about 8 or 9 inches per favor bag, just tying a simple double knot and letting the ends–always cut on a diagonal!–trail. For 100 favors, that’s 25 yards. If you want a bow, double it. If you wanted to have ribbons flowing across 60" tables, winding somewhat, say 3 ribbons per table at a minimum, that’s 8.3 yards per table, minimum. That’s at least 100 yds for enough round tables to seat your guests. You get the picture. An additional $14 is nothing compared to the flexibility to do whatever strikes your fancy at the time.</p>
<p>Regarding flowers: in my experience, most women hate corsages. My nieces put me in charge of distributing them at two weddings, and the recipients were usually not pleased. 
On the other hand, there are people who expect them and would be mightily offended if not at lest offered. You know your family, so plan accordingly. My sister, who after holding weddings for 3 Ds should be accounted an expert, uses sheaves of stock or similar flowers wrapped in trailing ribbon as bouquets. The bride has white, the attendants have pastels. They look lovely, and are comparatively inexpensive. Other comparatively inexpensive flowers, such as tulips or daffodils, can be used the same way. And you don’t have to pay a florist to make them up: just order the flowers in quantity, and use those ribbons you’ve bought 300 yards of! Bridal flowers only have to look great for 5 or 6 hours.</p>
<p>For wedding favors for my daughter’s beach wedding, we ordered chocolate molds (Amazon has a good selection) and made chocolates (well wilton candy) that fit with her wedding theme (shells as hers was a beach wedding). We put 2 large shells in each little tulle gift bag. They were simple and inexpensive but very pretty and also tasty. People seemed to like them.</p>
<p>I actually ended up doing them because the aforementioned awful wedding planner had not ordered the chocolate shells for the wedding cake a week before the wedding and we were panicking that the wedding cake would not be decorated. She did end up getting them in time (though got the colors wrong), so we made wedding favors instead.</p>
<p>if you are thinking of doing something on the order of chocolate shells, at least use Merckens candy melts, not Wilton. Not real chocolate, loaded with hydrogenated fats, but better than Wilton.</p>
<p>I have a favor that is miniature tin pails filled with golden raw sugar “sand” and a couple of white chocolate shells. Very pretty, but no one has ever ordered it, although the one time I did a wedding show a number of people asked me for info so they could do it themselves! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Your web site is lovely, Consolation.</p>
<p>CountingDown - Is Tardis blue an official color? I know many Dr. Who fans so I knew what you were referencing. :)</p>
<p>50ishwoman - I think it entirely depends on the family. I get the impression in other cases that the wedding isn’t really for the couple at all, when family steps in and dictates every detail without really consulting the bride. The unfortunately terrible wedding I attended this summer was a result of that. Her mother completely preempted the planning and basically re-planned the wedding she would’ve liked to have in the 80s. In other cases, a coworker of mine from the summer planned a pretty lavish wedding with his wife. It wasn’t about getting gifts or anything. They just wanted to have an affair that was classy and beautiful. And he was determined that there would be beer and steak for him, and he would be happy. I haven’t personally encountered the sort of attitude you’re talking about, but I’m seeing it a lot with people I interact with online and it definitely puts a bad taste in my mouth. </p>
<p>nottelling - That definitely does help to take the pressure off, a bit. Though my favor passes their test as well, if I decide to go through with it! </p>
<p>swimcatsmom - That’s aggravating with the wedding planner. What’s the point of wedding planner who’s not helpful? The favors sound pretty and fitting though!</p>
<p>Consolation - Are the brands of ribbon the same in both of the links? One of the teals looks to be the exact color I want and the other looks way darker. Also the shells in pails sound really cute, though I can understand how people would feel comfortable tackling that project. I’m sure they’re not nearly as tasty though. I’m not a big fan of the melting/molding chocolate at the grocery store. I’d probably buy a candy thermometer and try my hand at tempering actual quality chocolate. (And probably wind up hysterical on the floor covered in melted chocolate and second degree burns.)</p>
<p>I found this from the Emily Post Institute:</p>
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<p>I thought the emphasis on family heritage was interesting and implies that it may be more common in some groups than in others. That may explain their relative absence at the weddings I’ve attended. They are certainly a big deal at the Sweet 16s and bar and bat mitzvahs around here, though.</p>
<p>Oh boy! Are you ready to hear Judith Martin ( Miss Manners) on the subject? The question was about donating to a charity in lieu of wedding favors . She is generally more conservative than Post and never hesitates to call it like she sees it. </p>
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<p>^^^
Love her! I always agree with her candid take on things. A favor at a wedding is, IMO, something for the guest to take home as a keepsake for the occasion. Honestly, most will sit in a drawer somewhere. I remember my parents bringing home lots of matchbooks from weddings that were printed with the details of the occasion. Back when everyone smoked!
I guess they could reflect on the lovely wedding day of their niece or neighbor while they contributed to their own future lung cancer or COPD. So charming! Lol!</p>
<p>I don’t think wedding favors are necessary, but mints in little tins can be personalized and I for one enjoyed receiving them. Lots of sites have them in all styles and pretty cheap (some as low as 50 cents) and would be easier than food favors.</p>
<p>Another cool (and cheap) favor was a CD of the couple’s favorite songs (mostly love songs in keeping with the day). They printed their own CD labels and copied off the CD from computer. You could even print the labels with a “museum theme”
Very fun and we still listen to it (good selection!)</p>
<p>Oh god, I hate crap like that. It just becomes clutter. I don’t give a darn what the bride and groom’s favorite songs are. And I hate the little picture frames too. In general, I hate little tschotchkes I’m just going to take home and throw out. Give me nice food and a pleasant time and I’m good. There’s enough clutter in life, don’t add to it!</p>
<p>Sorry you don’t like it–I did!</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, are you SURE you hate that stuff?! LOL. </p>
<p>I have to agree with you. I guess I’m just not that sentimental unless unless it has to do with close family or friends.</p>
<p>Different strokes for others, I guess. If you do decide to do favors, Julie, do it because it’s important to you and not because others expect it.</p>
<p>If a wedding isn’t about close family and friends, what is?</p>
<p>FYI according to Pinterest, Tardis blue is colortone 247c. :)</p>
<p>I still use the little candle holder I got at a wedding. The M&Ms and colored almonds I use to put in DS’s lunch bag.</p>
<p>For the worm’s Bar Mitzvah, the theme was computers (Big surprise). I had a woman make miniature laptops with Kosher chocolate. I could see having a chocolate flower or shells by guests’ plates.</p>
<p>Consolation, is this your hobby or business?</p>