<p>I was planning on doing favors I saw on pinterest that were easy and inexpensive. Graham crackers, marshmallows, and mini hershey bars in little bags to go with a thank you tag. I thought it might be cute with the kind of casual, barbeque feel going on. I feel weird about not having favors because I have never attended a wedding without them in my area. That includes a pot luck at the Eagle’s club, and another backyard barbeque with a budget <$4k.</p>
<p>S & DIL’s venue has tables and chairs provided. The chairs aren’t particularly pretty (though they match the color scheme), but neither is inclined to spend $$ to rent different chairs or chair covers/sashes.</p>
<p>I like the hydrangeas. Their colors are royal blue and silver, guys will be in Black Watch kilts (blue and deep green), DIL wants ivy on the staircase banisters where they will say their vows, as well as on the barre in the theater studio where the reception will be held. (Also have white stringed lights for both.) She was agonizing between blue and green, but I think we can make both colors work without it being too dark. The venue does not allow open flames, so candles will have to be in containers. The folks at the venue will set up the tables and at least put out the table decorations for us – woohoo!</p>
<p>Personally, I’d get red/yellow/orange Gerbera daisies/zinnias/sunflowers (from Home Depot, Costco or local farm market) and make the flowers pop, but DIL does not seem inclined. She saw some hydrangeas and china mums and liked those. </p>
<p>Agree with the eight per table. Kind of like the “family style” format of long tables pushed together, though.</p>
<p>Costco bulk flowers and arrangements!
[Bulk</a> Flowers](<a href=“http://www.costco.com/bulk-flowers.html]Bulk”>http://www.costco.com/bulk-flowers.html)
[Wedding</a> & Event Flowers](<a href=“http://www.costco.com/wedding-event-flowers.html]Wedding”>http://www.costco.com/wedding-event-flowers.html)</p>
<p>Julie-- Those favors sound perfect. Totally in keeping with your “elegant insouciance” theme.</p>
<p>CountingDown-- Wow, that sounds amazing! I LOVE the kilts! I once went to a wedding where the reception was several blocks away from the ceremony and the bride had a bagpiper lead the wedding party and all of the guests in an informal procession from the ceremony site to the reception site. It was the coolest thing ever!! Could your daughter incorporate a small dose of bagpipes into her event? Maybe during cocktails? I’m afraid I have no budget ideas for your daughter. I’m picturing damask, silver candlelabra, and liveried footmen serving at the table from silver platters ala Russe. I’ve been watching too much Downton Abbey!</p>
<p>whoops, sorry, I meant son, CountingDown!</p>
<p>CountingDown - That all sounds very pretty! I might’ve gone with a regular blue as my wedding color but my SIL did kind of a monochromatic blue thing so I went with a different (but more challenging) color. And I love kilts. </p>
<p>Also, my future MIL is a bagpiper! Fun fact. </p>
<p>nottelling - Glad you approve of the favors. Honestly was a little nervous throwing that one out there.</p>
<p>ETA: Also wanted to ask, any suggestions for an alternative to natural flower bouquets that you’ve seen? Or another even cheaper way to get them? Even the Costco bundles are out of my price range, unfortunately.</p>
<p>I can’t get the website to work for the ribbon station, I will email the MOB and see what is happening.</p>
<p>I planned the IB banquet last year and was able to buy orchids, in nice containers at Trader Joes. I went in a couple of weeks in advance and ordered them, so I could get all white. They looked great and were very easy. So look around for plants…I used petunias in white, pink and lavender for DD’s First Communion, yellow mini roses for a recent wedding. The plants looked great and were very inexpensive.</p>
<p>Hyper Julie, I really think you can skip the favors. Most adult guests won’t want the calories or will just pass it on to a child. I don’t think weddings need “goody bags” at all. I think it was a child’s birthday custom that got translated to adults.</p>
<p>I’ve been to many high end weddings and very few have done favors. They are absolutely not a requirement. Also, not sure what you said about the table situation, but I prefer round tables for no more than 8-10 over a large banquet.</p>
<p>As much as I like the idea of the “smores to go,” I agree that favors are unnecessary. I would save the money and effort (prep and distribution). You are hosting, noone needs a take home item. Of course, it’s your day, so if you think it’s worth it - go for it. The idea is better than the favors I have received at weddings. :)</p>
<p>PG, I think that favors started as the Southern European tradition of giving sugared almonds. I remember seeing them wrapped in white tulle with ribbons in Italian Vogue back in the 80s, when favors were pretty much unknown here. One of my nieces married a Frenchman, and his mother brought little pale pink bags of sugared almonds with a handwritten calligraphy tag citing their names and the date. Very pretty. (And the almonds were a lot better!)</p>
<p>I don’t think you “need” favors either, but the little smores kits with a thank you sound charming and inexpensive. How to package them is the question. (Sorry, but since I do this professionally I tend to get obsessed about it. 
) The graham crackers are going to break and shed crumbs on everything else, unless VERY carefully handled. (I make chocolate covered grahams for some clients. Trust me.) This will be visible in a cello bag, but they will quickly get stale in an opaque paper bag. In addition, in order for people to “get” what you are giving them, they probably need to see all the pieces at once, which argues for the cello bag. Ideally, the bags would be sealed, but I can’t transport my impulse sealer down there for you, so you will have to settle for tying the bags shut with some of your omnipresent teal/green ribbon. In order to make sure that the stuff in the bag looks nice on the table, just make sure that you get Hershey minis with the plain brown wrapper, not multicolored varieties.</p>
<p>BTW, you can get a case of graham crackers at BJs for much less than the cost of boxes in the supermarket. You will need extras because some of them will break unevenly–I’m assuming you intend to snap them in half and give each person two halves, like a real smore-- or be broken already in the box. A case holds four boxes, which MIGHT be enough, but I would get at least one more box to allow for breakage, since each box holds 27 whole crackers.</p>
<p>Please forgive my obsessiveness on this subject. :D</p>
<p>Not surprisingly, I completely agree with Notelling regarding seating plans. A necessity for the comfort of your guests.</p>
<p>Here is another place I use for ribbon and cello bags. MUCH MUCH cheaper than ANY craft store, even with coupons, even considering shipping. The ribbon in this link would be good. They don’t have a color labelled teal, but I think that what they call “turquoise” would be about right.</p>
<p><a href=“Wholesale Packaging Supplies and Products | Paper Mart”>Wholesale Packaging Supplies and Products | Paper Mart;
<p>I think I figured out the venue, and it was interesting to see the museum’s online photo album showing different table arrangements. Did you like any of the ideas from those photos?</p>
<p>Your original question was about covering the plate. I’m from the area and one of the demographic groups where this is supposedly done all the time. As described here, I can honestly say it’s a totally foreign concept to me and those in my family and social circles, both there and where I live now. </p>
<p>Of course the entire notion is anathema by any standard of etiquette, but putting that aside, the reality is much more of a “going rate,” modified by relationship and finances. There is no connection to the cost of a specific affair, and people would be horrified at the idea of not inviting a young ( or older) relative who could not pay for the meal or having the nerve to spread word about cost. I understand that this is a very real thing in some areas. That would have no influence on me as a guest at such an affair, although our typical gift would likely be more than “acceptable.”</p>
<p>Reciprocity, on the other hand, is commonly a factor, even when it should not be ( ie someone who can’t afford to be as generous ). And while it’s not at all appropriate, human nature being what it is, there may be the occasional remark about Cousin Joe’s typical stinginess behind some <em>very</em> closed doors. The difference is that people realize that it’s wrong to express anything but gratitude to Cousin Joe. </p>
<p>I’ve hosted affairs and planned enough events to have a very good idea of catering costs in my area. The “going rate” may have evolved bearing some loose resemblance to the <em>average</em> cost of an affair in a given demographic, but that is all it is. It’s common practice, not a requirement, in any case.</p>
<p>Back to the covering the plate, since roshke went there – I remember being a young-married and going to a lot of my friends’ weddings that were paid for the bride’s parents (that describes my own wedding, as well, which was a lavish affair by mid 1980’s standards). There’s just no way those of us who were young twentysomethings, engaged or newly married, in our first jobs, often paying off student loans and living in not-so-great apartments, could have afforded to cover the plates for weddings that friends’ parents were having at the Ritz or Four Seasons or country club or what-have-you. I can see things like the money dances because I can say - ok, those are cultural traditions from the Old Country that got transported here and it’s all in good fun to dance with the bride and give her an envelope. But the concept of mentally tallying up what someone spent on you is just unspeakably vulgar to me. It’s not gracious. Someone is entertaining you to the best of their ability- whether that’s punch and cake in the basement or the five-course dinner at the Ritz, you enjoy it for what it is, and you don’t sit there and try to suss out the cost.</p>
<p>Confetti flowers are very common in Italy - the candies at my wedding looked similar to this:</p>
<p>[Stella</a> del Mattino](<a href=“Store Temporarily Closed for Maintenance”>Store Temporarily Closed for Maintenance)</p>
<p>My MIL bought them from this company, located in Sulmona - the town where she grew up:</p>
<p>[Confetti</a> Pelino & Bomboniere USA](<a href=“http://www.confettipelino.com%5DConfetti”>http://www.confettipelino.com)</p>
<p>Back then, I thought they looked very old-fashioned, but now I think they are a charming favor. And, the almonds do taste great - she still buys the loose almonds at Easter every year.</p>
<p>BTW, I’ve found some other online resources where you can get 100 yds of 1 1/2" teal organza ribbon by Morex for about $14.00. They have a broad range of colors.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl - I think this will mostly be determined by my money situation once the vendors have been paid and such. They won’t take terribly long to put together. As far as calories go, I think this is probably a SES thing perhaps, but most of my family are not the type to count calories, and even if they do to a certain extent, we’re very food-centric and always have desserts and heavy meat meals. It’s not healthy but that’s just the way people in my family eat. </p>
<p>roshke - I think I do prefer the look of the round tables but as the venue provides 18 banquet tables, it will save me a fair amount of money to rent whatever additional banquet tables I need to make up the difference, versus renting all round tables. I do like the more family-style kind of appeal of a banquet table though, and it was pointed out that without all of the elaborate table-setting a round table might look pretty barren. I might use a mixture once I go to the space though. I found out that the exhibit that is going to be there this summer will have a couple immovable parts so that might impact what I can do with the space. </p>
<p>(I really do wish they would warn people about the changing exhibits. For me, the fact that the wall color is changing is not a big deal, but for some brides I’m sure it would be a deal-breaker if they knew ahead of time.) </p>
<p>CTTC - I’m curious whether or not you’re right. I suppose you probably have enough information if you think about to sort of triangulate the location (within distance of the caterer and my hometown). There is a photograph with banquet tables that looks pretty nice, and then of course there are the round tables. I have to admit I am partial to the round but many of my preferences are not to be met in this planning process. </p>
<p>Consolation - Thanks for the links there! You’ve about nailed it. The pin had the components in a cellophane bag, tied with ribbon and a tag, with the traditional brown “Hershey” wrapper on the chocolate. And I know the truly temperamental nature of breaking graham crackers properly. I usually get the halves right but when I go for quarters things go south really quickly. As they will be flat, I think I will plan on packing and transporting them in a flat open top box just about the right size, and making sure that they are packed in with newspaper so they don’t shift around so much. My fiance buys card boxes for one of his hobbies that might actually fit the bill pretty well. </p>
<p>Gourmetmom - Those are really charming. My SIL had some of those almonds in her favors. I don’t know if they were good ones though because they were pretty teeth shattering. </p>
<p>As for back to the original topic, it’s crazy because it seems like you’re expected to know the cost and then to gift that. I’ve even seen threads on a forum with people providing the details about a wedding to try to guess how much they should give as a gift to cover their plates. I hope nobody that invites my family to a wedding has that expectation because 1) they can’t afford that and 2) I’m probably one of few people who would actually have a concept for how much a plated wedding meal actually costs. When I told my mother how much my cousin’s wedding was per plate (found out online during my planning process) she was floored. She couldn’t believe how much it was.</p>
<p>ETA: I’d definitely like the site if you’re sharing, Consolation. Could you PM it?</p>
<p>Consolation – What great resources! I’m embarassed just thinking about how much I’ve paid per yard for that exact organza ribbon at Soolip in West Hollywood over the years. Now that we know you are a professional in this area we are going to be bugging you all the time! </p>
<p>Julie – Boy, Consolation’s description of the logistical difficulties of the graham crackers would have me rethinking that plan, charming as the idea is. I’ve gone to a lot of weddings with favors and a lot without, and I’ve never noticed the absence. I have on many occasions felt guilty for throwing favors away. A heart felt thank you in person to your guests (which I’m sure you will do anyway) is more meaningful than a note. I think a lot of people are starting to skip favors as the Martha Stewart mania for obsessive detail wanes. If you skip them, you will be in the vanguard of good taste . . . . Or maybe Consolation has ideas for easier, inexpensive ones that don’t involve graham cracker crumbs or complicated packaging issues?</p>
<p>I admit wedding favors seem pretty common now, but they were not part of the scene when I and my friends were getting married. The best favor I’ve gotten and was at the outdoor wedding site, not the reception was teeny tiny bottles of bubbles which we used instead of rice. </p>
<p>One of the main decorations at our wedding were helium balloons. We handed them out at the end of the wedding and everyone had one on the walk across campus to the reception at the faculty club where they mostly got tied on the backs of chairs. We all stopped half way to the club and there’s a great picture of the entire wedding group with all our balloons.</p>
<p>I think DIL and I would both prefer Tardis blue (think Doctor Who), but it is hard to find that color consistently across a number of suppliers (esp. the table linens). They are having a contra dance band – no bagpipes, at least that I know about.</p>
<p>hyperJulie, for even cheaper plants – Home Depot, Lowe’s or Trader Joe’s. DH gets me bouquets from there that could be cut down to a reasonable centerpiece height and they are as low as $3.99/pop. Suspect if you got flowers directly from a Costco (i.e., didn’t order them and have shipping built into the price), they’d be less expensive. I suspect DIL may get her bouquet, the two bridesmaids’ flowers and boutonnieres (if they go with that) from a florist, and the rest we’ll wing from Home Depot, etc. The ivy is coming from my backyard – heaven knows there is enough of it out there!</p>
<p>I made silk flowers for my wedding. Also made the chuppah, wedding dress, bridesmaid’s outfits, calligraphy for the envelopes, etc. I was nuts.</p>