I like the dresses in the Jcrew catalog, where you can just pick a color & have six or seven styles to choose from.
I just had one maid of honor, my sister, & no bridesmaids.
She made her dress, since I wanted pink roses, I just asked that it go with the flowers, I didn’t even ask about the pattern. It was much more conservative than I would have chosen, but I am glad she didn’t have to cover her hair.
I don’t think I know any young women who could be a bridezilla type.
Seems like that energy could be better spent elsewhere.
I chose and paid for my bridesmaid dresses as the girls were quite scattered around - 3 were in the U.S. but one was living in Canada and another in Europe at the time. Asked their sizes, sent them the dresses and they took care of whatever alterations needed to be done.
I like the look of strapless but agree they are not the most comfortable style of dress - lot of tugging if the dress does not fit properly.
35 years ago I gave my MOH and bridesmaid a color and let them choose their dresses. It was quite unusual to do that back then, but I couldn’t see making them buy and wear dresses they didn’t like.
Me neither. All young ladies I know are quite modest and tuned into other people’s need. I wonder some of bridezillas exist mainly in in-laws imagination.
I’m thinking of a man I know professionally who has a really intense beard. There’s no way it could be made “neat or trimmed” without changing it’s entire style. When I first met him, I was a bit put off by it. He turned out to be a really great guy, one of the sweetest dads ever, despite the somewhat rough exterior. This bridal story is just sad, this is someone close enough to be in the wedding party, he should be accepted as is, or not asked in the first place.
I’ve heard similar stories about weight and bridesmaids and again, it’s just sad to me that someone would try to dictate appearance in that way. It’s not like saying all the maids are going to wear matching necklaces.
In real life, I am guessing, most brides are normal, with some ego and also decent sense of hospitality. Why is wedding so complicated? It must be more than meeting of two people. From the hysteria I read on CC, some people must regard it as some kind of attack on their identity if not done right.
But had anyone asked her to wear nude hose, or was she just fashion challenged?
The bridesmaids at my younger brother’s wedding were three friends of the bride. One of them never wore anything but black. No one had ever seen her in a color. My sil said she’d be pleased if they could all agree on a look, and she’d be carrying purple flowers, but left it up to them as to exactly what they’d wear. Three of them wore Laura Ashley dresses with purple flowers - the woman in black wore a plain dark lilac dress. She’d clearly tried hard, but just couldn’t bring herself to wear a print. Luckily my brother and his wife are very easy going and thought it was funny. The pictures aren’t ruined - she looks like she might be the maid of honor or something, though IIRC they didn’t have one.
I made my life easy too, one bridesmaid - I told her what my flowers were going to be and sent a picture of my dress and told her to wear what she liked. The best man wore a tux, and not one of these awful ones, so that was easy too. My dress was an antique I found in a consignment shop from the 1930s. I felt like Katherine Hepburn in it. I look at those photos and think we dodged a lot of bullets for a mid 1980s wedding!
Some women are daydreaming about their wedding and how they want it to be long, long before it ever happens. Weddings can also be a major expenditure for some families, tens of thousands of dollars. And planning for hundreds of people, argh! It’s no wonder these occasions can be fraught with worry. There’s also that small matter of two people making a commitment for life.
I see several references in this tjread to man of honor and best person. I think this is a great development. Our S couldn’t decide which of his friends to choose as best man. I told him to pick the one he would call first if he got the best or worst news in the world. He said okay. So in the end he asked his sister to be his best woman! As their mom, I was very happy.
“Tne girl wore black lace hose that could be spotted 20 yards away. It DID look inappropriate and she was in the wrong, IMO.
But had anyone asked her to wear nude hose, or was she just fashion challenged?”
She wanted to stand out and make a statement. It was deliberate, IMO, and a stupid statement at that, because the only statement that it made is that she had no common sense.
That’s where societal laws and conventions come in handy to help people relate to one another in peace and harmony.
In this case, the law and school policy most likely prohibit a naked HS graduation dancer. Tradition and etiquette in the US at this time allows for the couple to select outfits, but stops well short of dictating personal appearance.
I agree that anyone not willing to participate as requested should step down politely. That’s what the best man should have quietly offered to do, as opposed to calling names and threatening.
However, that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t rude for this couple to ask him to change his appearance in the first place or that he didn’t have the right to be offended. It was and he did.
BTW, I don’t much like them, but untrimmed beards are a thing and have become a big fashion statement in hipster circles.
J Crew is excellent for bridesmaid dresses. My daughters lobbied hard for their now sil to choose their dresses. One of bridesmaids choose a strapless dress…she has huge breasts…the dress started listing as she walked down the aisle…later pictures in the evening revealed more. Not the fault of the dress…fault as to choice.
The only wedding drama I have witnessed surrounded my niece’s wedding, though no one intentionally caused the drama. My niece asked her older sister to be the maid of honor. Older niece then found out that she was pregnant. They carefully chose dresses that would accomodate an 8½ month pregnant bridesmaid.
6 weeks or so before the wedding elder sister lost her baby.
They then had to go figure out a dress for a non pregnant MOH just weeks before a formal wedding.
I can only imagine how traumatic it was for all of them.
I agree and disagree. Strapless dresses need to be fitted carefully. Actually, they need to be tight or they will inevitably slip down. J Crew should have offered to tailor the dress to make it fit properly. Young people often won’t think of having things altered but sometimes they absolutely need to be.
My best friend’s son is getting married this summer. Her daughter is a bridesmaid. The daughter is quite shy and dresses in a very appropriate way, cute, stylish, never over the top. The wedding is in a barn wedding facility, and the bride is wearing cowgirl boots and all the bridesmaids are required to as well. Their boots have to be approved by the bride! My friend and her daughter have purchased two pairs so far and both were rejected as “not authentic enough.” The daughter does not like cowgirl boots and would never choose to wear them. They also don’t have much money, so this is a completely useless purchase to her. They are wearing regular bridesmaid dresses, same color, different styles of their choice. Not getting off to a good start with the new DIL.
I will likely be in a strapless wedding dress. I have worn strapless dresses before without issue- I always have them fitted to me. Maybe I’ve just got that lucky body type that can hold up the strapless dresses?
@bookiemom I had a friend who did that last summer- married in a barn with cowboy boots. She and her bridesmaids all went to go get the boots together as an outing. Maybe the D can ask to go with the bride to get the “right” pair?
Bookiemom, hopefully you were able to return & refund the unacceptable cowboy boots. Ugh! I hope your D is able to get something that will work.
My friend got married and had all of us wear tea length dresses in a pale pink color (I was MOH), and a dyed low-heeled pump. She hoped we could all wear these shoes and dresses for other events. (I had to take Benadryl as the dress otherwise literally gave me hives.). Bride insisted on paying for all the dresses and shoes. It was a lovely wedding and I gladly loaned out the dress and shoes to my sister, who wanted to wear it at Mardi Gras cruise.
Personally, I hate strapless dresses and the strapless trend. It is NOT a good style for many folks and I was hoping Kate’s elegant long-sleeved wedding gown would become a trend. Sadly, I was wrong! It was hilarious when my sister was getting married 7 years ago and was trying to help all of us, her sisters (all in our 40s and older) find a dress that was OK for all of us to wear and flattering. Most of the gowns and photos were for folks 10-20 years younger, but we all eventually found a gown that worked–strapless. Since the gowns were long, we were each to find shoes that worked for us and the bride wore fancy slippers with rhinestones!