<p>When DD got married my biggest fear was that DH’s elderly parents would throw caution to the wind and find a way to come. They have not traveled by plane in 10 years and the last cruise they took was a disaster. They are completely self absorbed people, their arrival would have ruined an incredibly lovely day for DH. Whew, so glad they did not try.</p>
<p>I am pretty pragmatic, I don’t think a wedding is a “damn the torpedoes, go at all costs” sort of event. It’s something that is nice to attend if you can, but not if you are old & infirm & going to be a burden to the immediately family of the bride or groom. You can inconvenience less immediate family of the wedding party, but you should not distract the main participants.</p>
<p>A friend’s son recently married. Unfortunately several months ago, her husband (the Fa of groom) , who already had health issues with parkinsons and a few other issues, fell and fractured his hip. He’s been in rehab (polite term for nursing homes) and the wedding was in another state, on the beach. They decided it would be too difficult to get him there, so he didnt go. Sad, but they skyped it for him.</p>
<p>Im impressed by these families that make such effort to attend.
Our family doesnt often have it as a priority, even when weve tried to make it easy.</p>
<p>For the perpetually dysfunctional (eg. the elderly uncle, the BIL and family) I am not inclined to do much. I think they want to distract everyone from the main event, and are attention seeking, and this is not the time for it. We have many in the extended family that fall into this category, and I have had it with them. </p>
<p>I agree with the poster above who said that in all these major events there may be some sadness for those too old or sick to attend. In our family, we lost my mother a few months before a big event years ago, and then my MIL a couple of years ago. Even though we had looked forward to having them at those events, we had to go on without them.</p>
<p>With my youngest graduating from college and my oldest getting married this year, I especially miss both my parents, my H & I can only make so much noise!
When I was married, I had my maternal grandfather give me away, and both my maternal grandparents were still alive when my oldest was born, my maternal grandmother was even still alive when my youngest was born!</p>
Me too! But DH can/t/won’t see it in his brother and gets upset with me when I try to address it. DHs sister has their brother’s number, and won’t put up with the crap either.</p>