<p>Just got a very bad report from the vet concerning our cat. Looks like we need to euthanize this poor kitty in the next couple of days. Daughter is at college, and too far away to come home. What are some things we could do to make this easier? (Have not told her yet.)</p>
<p>I would call her as soon as possible and let her know, so that she feels part of the decision.
You may want to have the vet come to your house, than can be less stressful.</p>
<p>definitely let her be part of the decision, (unless she has finals next week).</p>
<p>Just call her and let her know the dx.</p>
<p>Something similar happened when I just got married. Family dog was beyond ill. They told me afterwards. It was terrible news to hear after the fact. </p>
<p>Tell her before it happens. Please. </p>
<p>Take some photos now, ask her if she would like to skype to see kitty. Ask her about creamation or burial. Let her be part of the process. Trim some of kitty’s hair and save it for her. So sorry.</p>
<p>This happened with our two cats.
With one, who died in the night, we popped into the freezer until D could come for the burial.( this was her jr yr & it contributed to her having a really rough time)
With the other, both girls were able to be there at the vet to say goodbye.</p>
<p>My daughter knew that the day was coming when we’d have to put her dog down. She asked us not to tell her until after it was done, so that she wouldn’t spend the day (or the days leading up to it) in tears.</p>
<p>My parents put my dog down without consulting me. Please, let her know now and allow her to be part of the decision.</p>
<p>The opportunity to talk to her cat on the phone or skype with the cat may be meaningful to her. </p>
<p>Please tell her ASAP, and before you do it. My mom put down my cat while I was gone at college, and told me after the fact. (The cat wasn’t that old or sick. I couldn’t take it to college with me, and she and dad were tired of taking care of it.) I was REALLY upset with my mom about this. It was a traumatic experience for me.</p>
<p>
Having terrible images of a cat-sicle. </p>
<p>I think it helped, because she could be physically present for the burial.
It was a big freezer & a little cat.
We did the same thing for the older cat ( who was 21), because it was too traumatic at the time to contemplate the funeral.
The lab however, we had cremated.</p>
<p>My d’s pet rabbit died while she was in college. It died in the winter and we kept it in the freezer until the ground thawed. We asked D if she wanted us to wait until she came home to bury it. (She didn’t, but I let her choose. The rabbit died in my hands, and that was another traumatic experience!)</p>
<p>We had to put D’s show dog down last September- she’d whelped and raised him. I kept her in the loop when he began going downhill on Friday and she knew that the end was near- although I was intending to call the vet, I let her come to the conclusion that the call needed to be made first thing Monday morning (would have done it sooner, but he was comfortable until late on Sunday night). Sent her the time of the appt via text message so she knew…
I’m sorry that you’re having to do this, MakeMom; Hugs coming your way. Atomom, I would never have forgiven my family for that- in fact, my mother did that with my horse and then lied to me about what had happened. Never trusted her nor did I forgive her (there was a LOT more to that story, but she was NOT a good person).</p>
<p>MM, I did forgive my mom, (after I wrote her a mean letter–which she saved for years, and I later found and threw away) but she will still claim that she told me about it. The cat was put down around my birthday, and for decades afterward, she always sent me a birthday card with a picture of a cat on it! ( I thought this was sort of insensitive and creepy. Now, I’m just choosing to think she picked out those cards because she knew I loved cats.) </p>
<p>Our vet did something that was incredibly thoughtful. She took paw prints of our beloved pet and hand painted a yorkie on the reverse side. Being able to touch those paw prints helped us tremendously.</p>
<p>Totally agree with this advice from ECmother:
“Take some photos now, ask her if she would like to skype to see kitty. Ask her about creamation or burial. Let her be part of the process. Trim some of kitty’s hair and save it for her.” </p>
<p>I would also look for a vet that will come to the house to do it, as also suggested. I wish I would have known about that with our cat. Doing it at a crowded vet’s office was very traumatic.</p>
<p>Just bring her into the process. Sorry to hear of the loss of your kitty.</p>
<p>Years ago, my mother was faced with the decision to put our cat down while I was at work. She was outside and got under the hood of neighbor’s car and was severely injured. When I came home from work , she was in tears and told me what had happened. I realized she had no choice and to be honest, calling me at work wouldn’t have been a good move.
If you could tell your daughter before it happens, she will at least appreciate that she was informed </p>
<p>I’m so sorry. I agree with others that you should tell your daughter before you put the cat down.</p>
<p>But there is no “decision” to be made here. You already know what you need to do. You owe it to your beloved pet to do the right thing, and not let the cat suffer. If it is time, then you must be brave and merciful, rather than waiting around. </p>
<p>Definitely tell her ahead of time. But to the OP’s question of what might make it easier…my D and I went out to our favorite casual restaurant to “celebrate” her life after we had her put to sleep. We went in the late afternoon (not during the lunch or dinner rush), so the place was not busy. We cried a little, we toasted our elderly kitty with margaritas, re-visited stories of crazy times with her, and just generally remembered all the joy she brought to our lives. We hoped we did the same for her -we adopted her after she was found in horrible circumstances. The decision was unquestionable as she was suffering, but taking time to remember the joy did make the acceptance a little easier.</p>