<p>If it’s DD’s cat, like the tread title said, it’s not your decision - it’s hers.</p>
<p>P.S. “My mom put down my cat while I was gone at college, and told me after the fact. (The cat wasn’t that old or sick. I couldn’t take it to college with me, and she and dad were tired of taking care of it.) I was REALLY upset with my mom about this. It was a traumatic experience for me.”</p>
<p>^^^I am so sorry. This sounds like a nightmare scenario. If my parents ever did something like that to one of my animals, I would literally never speak to them ever again.</p>
<p>I disagree with acollegestudent. If the cat is in the parents’ care, and it is time to end the cat’s suffering, then the parents must make that sad decision. It’s profoundly wrong to draw out the suffering of an animal. Cats in particular are good at hiding their pain, but if the vet says it’s time to let the cat go, it’s time.</p>
<p>Many vets are quite incompetent in managing pain - having taken care of many animals of different species, I have a strong belief that euthanasia is overused (there have been articles written on this same problem in America today).</p>
<p>But the argument on euthanasia is not even the point in this case. It’s moot. It is NOT their cat. Killing someone else’s animal is NOT OK. The daughter is capable of interpreting the facts herself and seeing what, if anything she wants to do. Just because an animal is in you care, doesn’t give you any right to make an end of life decision for the animal, unless the owner has given you very clear permission to do so.</p>
<p>That is absolutely not true. There are plenty of vets that will euthanize an animal that does not require euthanasia. There are good vet out there, but if you truly believe all vets are competent or even professional, you haven’t met enough vets.</p>
<p>And vets will definitely euthanize for a non-life threatening issue for the simple reason that the owner doesn’t want to spend the money (and sees euthanasia as a cheaper option) to take care of it (like a broken leg), even if it’s known with certainty that an animal can recover from the injury.</p>
<p>There may be unethical people in any profession - thats besides the point. But now ou are conflating the issue with an injured pet (broken bone) or a pet requiring expensive medical care. Those situations are vasty different from a parent who doesnt want to be bothered caring for a kids pet.</p>
<p>The person’s post clearly said: “The cat wasn’t that old or sick.” So, that implies it may have had a medical condition or some non-serious issues. If that’s the case, I can guarantee you many vets would be willing to euthanize if the parents said they didn’t want to deal with the condition. It’s also not like they run extensive tests before euthanasia - all you really have to do is come in and say a few buzz phrases - the pet is slowing down, seems to lack interest in life, etc. It’s really not that hard to get an animal (especially an older animal) euthanized. It’s not like there are any real regulations.</p>
<p>And part of caring for a pet IS giving it medical care, so no, I don’t think it’s vastly different at all.</p>
<p>Must you get ensnared in an argument in every thread about euthanasia, acollegestudent? Can you not tell that this is a sensitive and difficult subject that has nothing to do with your personal campaign against euthanasia?</p>
<p>This nearly happened to me with our family dog, it just so happened to happen when I was home for break. We knew he was on the decline but then he started having severe seizures, and likely a stroke, in the middle of the night and we took him in to be put down as soon as the vets office opened a couple hours later. But being home didn’t actually make it any easier, in fact in some ways it might have made it harder. For some actually physically being there and seeing it makes it easier but for me it just made the whole thing all the more traumatic. I saw him suffer, a lot. He really, really suffered in his last hour. I laid in bed for the entire day and sobbed and couldn’t think about it without crying for weeks. I was home to deal with the shock of not hearing him or seeing him around anymore, seeing his toys sitting abandoned in the corner, seeing everyone else crying. Once it actually happened and I went back to school, it was a little better… I had been dreading it in the back of my mind for years and once it actually happened I could start to move on. </p>
<p>I was away at school when a beloved horse got sick and was put down. He actually belonged to my trainer but this horse and I had a very special relationship, and I was only 30 minutes away… but it happened quickly and late at night, and obviously I was not trainer’s first concern since it was not my horse. So I didn’t find out until later. I was extremely upset for a while. I would have liked a clipping from his tail, like we have from our first horse. I felt guilty that I’d been going on like normal while he’d been dead for days and I didn’t know. I would have said a prayer for him if I’d known. Not knowing hurt.</p>
<p>I would just tell her. It is going to hurt. It may hurt worse that she is not with you and kitty, but it may also be better that she is with her friends and can keep her normal routine as best as she can. Tell her in advance so she has a chance to process, she might want to skype or talk to kitty on the phone like others have said, she should have the chance to decide how she is going to handle this emotionally and how she wants to say goodbye from afar. She is going to find out and it is going to hurt, not telling her until after the fact won’t make it any easier and may well make it harder.</p>
<p>“Must you get ensnared in an argument in every thread about euthanasia, acollegestudent? Can you not tell that this is a sensitive and difficult subject that has nothing to do with your personal campaign against euthanasia?”</p>
<p>Yes, I must. If one person can benefit from my experience with dealing with vets (good and bad) and pain management, it’s worth it. And quite frankly, I care much more about the animals’ life and end of life experiences than the fact that it’s a “sensitive and difficult subject”. I try to keep my personal views out of it and always say that I respect euthanasia when done for the right reasons (many people I know and respect through animal groups accept euthanasia in extreme circumstances), but it’s a fact that it’s overdone as it is now and many vets are not good judges of what’s best for an animal - you have to become your animal’s advocate.</p>
<p>And as I said, in this thread, the talk of euthanasia is moot, as it’s not their cat. It’s the daughter’s decision - she may well want to do euthanasia, but it’s her decision.</p>
<p>Just to clarify–my cat was put down when I was in college more than 30 years ago.(Not sure if veterinary practices have changed since then, but it is my impression that you could take an animal in and ask for it to be put down because you “can no longer care for it.”) The cat was 8 years old and wasn’t ill. My parents didn’t want to be bothered with changing the litter box, feeding the cat. The cat may have urinated outside the litter box a couple times, and for my parents, that was too much. (Mom may have told the vet the cat had a UTI? I don’t know.)</p>
<p>Practices haven’t changed THAT much in 30 years - there are still vets that will put down an animal per the owner’s request, and even more will do so if you give them a ‘reason’, even if it’s unverified.</p>
<p>Your story just breaks my heart It’s part of the reason I got involved in this thread, hoping the OP would take into account the cat is her daughter’s. It’s pretty much the worst thing I can imagine.</p>
<p>My grandparents cat died when they were in Arizona years ago. The cat was 21 and we took care of it the winters when they were in Arizona. They were in their late 80’s and they wanted to say goodbye and bury the cat. So we put the cat in the garage freezer and when they came home in the spring we helped them bury the cat. Everyone handles the death of pets differently. I would tell your DD what you plan to do. Maybe you can skype with the cat so she can say good bye…</p>
<p>I agreeacollegestudent,
might be prudent to avois statements like “I can guarantee you” expecially without solid data. Nost vets have a relationship with their clients, and dont just take in a new client who wants their animal put down.
I am, also one who is offended by peple who do not consider the costs of carting for pets and believe they are disposable, but I dont agree that you need to turn this posters sensitive thread into your personal campaign. Plese dont.</p>
<p>The people who are caring for the cat are the people who decide when it is time to give the cat a break and let go.
I agree cats are good at masking pain and suffering.
So if it is evident, then that indicates that they are ready & it is cruel to force them to hang on out of some misplaced sense of ownership.
I agree that the daughter should ideally be informed before the cat is put to rest, but it is cruel and inhumane to force an animal to live longer than its time.</p>
<p>The cat’s needs should come first, especially if in pain. If it were my d’s kitty, she would want to know. She would probably also want to skype. But everyone is different. </p>
<p>I’m so very sorry, OP. This is always a tough decision. The deed may be done by now, but I like the idea of letting your daughter skype to say goodbye. You are obviously a caring parent to think how to ease this for your daughter.</p>
<p>The people who are caring for the cat are the people who decide when it is time to give the cat a break and let go.</p>
<p>No. It’s the owner’s decision and no one else’s. Not only is it wrong in every way to take that decision away from the owner, but there might be huge consequences both to the relationship and even legally. And no, you don’t get to decide what the owner wants to do. She may want to euthanize. She may want to try to manage the condition. It’s up to her. She is no dumber than her parents and cares for her car too, presumably, so she can well make up her own mind. </p>
<p>Hmmm. My house, my cat. I’m not gonna let a pet suffer waiting for the kid to be able to get home, that is cruel. D and I can talk on the phone, she can say goodbye over the phone (we can skype); whatever but not holding a pet alive suffering at the convenience of me and my kid while we figure out how to get the kid home to decide. Plus technically I’m the actual owner of everything in my house. Yes I am so yep it’s my cat (or dog or whatever). No the cat (or dog or guinea pig or fish) won’t be surprise dead when she gets home for break but it will be dead and buried and she can pay respects when she gets home. It’s cruel to leave a pet suffering while the humans decide what to do and beef over ownership @acollegestudent.</p>
<p>Plus it shouldn’t be a surprise unless the pet dies in an accident (hit by a car or whatever). A sick animal is likely showing signs at the end of summer when the kid leaves for college (unless a sudden diagnosis of cancer or whatever). Come on now…</p>
<p>Its puzzling why acollegestudent, you profess to having the animals wellbeing in mind, yet you place more importance on the rights of “ownership”, over the rights of the individual animal.</p>
<p>Its illuminating that when making the decision to euthanize an animal, owners making the decision for the first time, worry about doing it too soon, but afterwards, may experience regret at waiting too long and the next time they have to make that difficult decision, they choose to do it sooner and save their pet the anxiety and pain of multiple trips to the vet and the treatments and procedures that go along with trying to put off the inevitable.</p>
It’s part of the reason I got involved in this thread, hoping the OP would take into account the cat is her daughter’s. It’s pretty much the worst thing I can imagine.</p>