<p>I am looking for enlightenment from parents who know that their kids drink in high school and/or allow their kids to drink in their homes with friends.
What is your logic? Don’t you feel responsible for those other kids who are drinking in your home?
We have recently had some parents at our high school who have been sponsoring drinking parties around graduation. I just don’t get it. Any of you out there doing this and why?</p>
<p>It sure does make one wonder–I personally haven’t a clue about this & don’t know anyone personally who sponsors or allows such parties. It would create huge liability issues as well as potential for untold heartbreak & tragedy.</p>
<p>see that’s just it. Nobody supposedly lets their kids drink but there are my space and facebook pics galore of drunk hs kids in thier own homes. Now everyone knows who the drinking kids are but their own parents??
Are there just tons of naive parents or parents who don’t admit that they allow their kids to drink???</p>
<p>I don’t think any of this will stop until GROUPS of concerned parents of each school confront the parents who are known to allow drinking parties in their homes (or unknowingly provide them by leaving kids home on weekends unattended). </p>
<p>If the group is concerned with confronting “face to face”, they could put together and send a letter insisting that these parties stop and warn that the authorities will be notified that underage drinking parties are occuring in these homes.</p>
<p>Remember, this IS your business because THOSE drinking kids get into cars and drive on the same streets that you and your kids are on.</p>
<p>another thought: Notify all the local & major insurance agencies of homes that have these parties. If any of these homes are insured by THEIR companies, they will probably act.</p>
<p>This is a great thread. There is an enormous amount of underage drinking in my area and I find it very frightening. About two years ago there was a rash of accidents (two fatal) involving underaged boys who were drunk (this is not to single out boys, it just happened that way in these instances) and I just don’t comprehend allowing it. My daughter is going to the prom tonight and everyone who knows is commenting about the booze in the limo. THere will be no booze in the limo because the driver knows that we will hold him responsible. There just seems to be a presumption that parents can’t stop the drinking and I beg to differ.</p>
<p>This one is totally new to me. I did know of one party that got a bit out of hand but the parents were out. A neighbor called the cops and the kids were busted.</p>
<p>Some parents want their kids to be popular, and allowing their kids to entertain is part of that. So they leave town for occasional weekends or stay in another part of the house so that they “don’t know” what is going on. Other parents want to be popular with their kids so they say things like, “well, he’s eighteen now, so what can I do?” Many parents say, “well, it’s going to happen anyway and I’d rather it happen at my house.” There are many ways parents rationalize this.</p>
<p>
SuNa I could have written this myself. Definitely happens in our town.</p>
<p>I have been working on a raft of data and scientific articles on underage drinking in the past few days, so thought it worth sharing the following:</p>
<ul>
<li>Underage drinking (12-20) accounted for 17.5% of the cash value of total U.S. consumer expenditures for alcohol in 2001 ($22.5 billion of the $128.6 billlion total.) Taken together, underage drinking plus adult pathological drinking (20%) accounts for 37.5% of the total. (you’ll see why that’s important later.)</li>
</ul>
<p>– Youth Ages 12-20 who drink alcohol are more than twice as likely (25.9%) to be current pathological drinkers than adults (9.6%). (Pathological drinking is defined as those meeting criteria for alcohol use and dependence as defined in the DSM-IV of the American Psychological Association.) </p>
<p>– In 2001, the percentage of U.S. youth ages 12-20 who drank alcohol in the past 30 days (47.1%) was similar to the rate for adults (53.8%) but the rate of youth who were dependent, i.e. alcoholics (12.2% of drinkers) was more than twice that of adults (5.1%).</p>
<p>– Youth ages 12-20 accout for 30% of all U.S. abusive and dependent drinkers.</p>
<p>–Teens who begin regular drinking before age 15 are four times (40%) likelier to become alcohol dependent (alcoholics) than those who start regular drinking at age 21 or older. (11%). Every year delayed in youth beginning regular drinking results in a 9% reduction in future alcohol dependence.</p>
<p>Putting aside the accident risks, relation to sexual assault, etc., the risks of early drinking extend well into adulthood (and that includes the continued accident risks, relation to sexual assault, plus a raft of alcohol-related diseases). But alcohol companies have figured out that since adult pathological drinking results in a very large percentage of their income, the best way to guarantee that flow of income is to find ways for kids to drink at earlier and earlier ages.</p>
<p>Wow. Those are some scary statistics. Very sobering (no pun intended).</p>
<p>We don’t allow alcohol into our home and so my daughters have never seen it consumed or consumed it themselves. We talk about the dangers a lot and I hope they will get it.</p>
<p>Very interesting info mini.
Regarding the connection between early drinking and alchoholism, I wonder if there’s a chicken and egg type of conundrum. If those pathological drinkers begin drinking earlier because they <em>are</em> pathological drinkers, then staving off the starting age would simply delay the onset. Is the early drinking a cause or effect?
Either way, I’ve seen too many kids make very bad choices while under the influence. Those statistics are very sobering.</p>
<p>No, staving off the starting age actually REDUCES the onset, i.e. chances of them ever becoming pathological drinkers is signficantly reduced. That data comes from a 20-year longitudinal study begun in 1984.</p>
<p>Although I’ve never allowed friends of my children to drink in our home when they’re underage, all of my Ds were allowed to have an occasional glass of wine with dinner once they reached a certain age. I actually don’t know ANYone who has held parties for their kids and their friends and served alcoholic beverages. I hear about this anecdotally but have never seen it to be true in the places we’ve lived.</p>
<p>Having spent much of my Ds teen years in Ontario, where the drinking age is 19, I am of the opinion that teaching young adults to drink responsibily is the best route to take. I’m not talking here of 14 and 15 year old kids drinking. Forbidding alcohol altogether is, in my opinion, a recipe for disaster because when kids go off to college (if not before), the majority of them are going to be exposed to alcohol. Having them try it for the first time when they are away from home and without the support system of a family nearby is not ideal. Responsible drinking is something which is learned when modelled by responsible adults. </p>
<p>My three older Ds, who are all legal now, have very few friends who abstain totally, maybe one or two each. It is equally rare for them to know kids who binge (other than the one who is at NYU). It’s simply not the problem here that it seems to be in the U.S. Binge drinking is dangerous at any age and should be discouraged. One way of doing this is to teach kids to drink responsibly and give them the ability to get together with friends and have a beer with dinner, or at a pub after class, etc. When they’re not able to legally do that, it seems that it is much more likely that the drinking takes place in dorm rooms and they’re more likely to be drinking shots in quick succession to get a ‘buzz’ before heading out.</p>
<p>Modelling good behaviors works. It doesn’t mean that 16 year olds are going to be out drinking excessively. These are choices which have to be made by each family and, for our family and others we know who have handled this important issue in this way, it has worked.</p>
<p>I completely concur with Alwaysamom. </p>
<p>I have spent the better part of the past 48 hours consoling a dear friend of mine whose nephew is currently in a coma, following a solo bar episode of drinking an enormous amount of tequilla. This young man fell backwards, onto a metal barred fence, as he was leaving the bar, and has suffered a catastrophic brain injury…</p>
<p>This boy grew up in a religious home that allowed no alcohol at all. He was highly restricted all his life, and this was his first experience, in a city, away from home. </p>
<p>I don’t believe in parents serving alcohol to minors at parties…at all. I would be horrified if I heard my son was at a party where that happened.</p>
<p>OTOH, kids need to learn to drink responsibly. I know some people feel, as with absintence education, that adolescents just WON"T drink, or won’t have sex, because their parents restrict it. Research proves otherwise.</p>
<p>In our house, my son has had a glass of wine with us occasionally, a half a beer, etc. It minimizes the mystique and allure of alcohol, and of kids we know, he is the one who doens’t drink out of the house.</p>
<p>He is extremely unlikely to leave for college and spend the first year in an alcohol induced haze like too many kids we know. Alcohol isn’t the forbidden fruit, and thus the need to be abusive in use is less likely.</p>
<p>“I completely concur with Alwaysamom.”</p>
<p>It’s a good theory, it makes seemingly good common sense, and it isn’t supported by the data (of which there is an overwhelming amount.)</p>
<p>“OTOH, kids need to learn to drink responsibly. I know some people feel, as with absintence education, that adolescents just WON"T drink, or won’t have sex, because their parents restrict it. Research proves otherwise.”</p>
<p>I may feel differently as my daughter heads closer to age 18, but as of right now, I can’t see any good reason for a 16 year old to drink at all. She also doesn’t have a rebellious personality, so I’m not worried about that. Individual families can find specific things to be completely unacceptable and still impart good information and education and have open channels of communication. My husband and I do not drink and, therefore, have never had a drop of alcohol in our home. We have lots of friends and relatives who don’t drink, some who drink in moderation, and some who drink way too much. Our kids see that we choose not to consume alcohol. They also see people at parties, barbeques, weddings, etc. who drink to all degrees. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in the home for kids to see adults do any and all manner of drinking and to be smart enough to realize what is appropriate and what is not. My kids have seen plenty of people have a beer or a drink or two for enjoyment and they’ve also seen people get sick-drunk. The absence in the home doesn’t mean the children are locked in a closet. I can’t imagine a parent of a teen giving permission for drinking, exclusive of families who choose to have a moderate amount of wine with meals. I see that as an important cultural choice, but it’s common in my community for parents to order Margaritas or fancy drinks at restaurants and let the underage kids drink them. I do not get that at all.</p>
<p>Might just be anecdotal on my part, and not statistical at all. </p>
<p>I am only commenting on kids, who have been quite restricted throughout high school, and simply go ballistic the minute they are away from hom. It only takes one look at Facebook, Myspace, or students’ photo sites to see that drinking is the prevalent activity in college.</p>
<p>My oldest kid is still in high school. The proof will be in the pudding I suppose, but I grew up the same way (even smoked ciggies at home), and never drank in excess in college…even once…and gave up the cigs on my own because they stank.</p>
<p>Zoos, we don’t drink any hard liquor at all (only beer and wine, and even that is more occasional) and neither DH have ever been drunk in our lives, in front of our children or before they were born. </p>
<p>I also agree that letting kids drink fancy drinks at restaurants is wrong. My kids wouldn’t even get the sip of wine out of the house.</p>
<p>Mind you, the data I posted had to do with kids who “regularly drank” - I’m running down the definition. The “regular drinking” could have been at home, but is “more than a sip” (which is the way the question usually appears on the questionnaires. The “sip” drinkers don’t contribute significantly to the cash value of alcohol consumed, which is what the first study was about.</p>
<p>One thing I have noticed with the group of parents I know who get together just about every weekend for parties and other events where drinking is involved is that most of their kids are the ones my son tells me who party a lot as high schoolers. First off is the parents are doing their own thing so they don’t pay as much attention to the kids, then we they do bring them to these events all they see is their dads drinking and having a good old time.Sure my kid is not an alcohol virgin, but I know from the way we have brought him up and he doesn’t see us drink that often it makes a difference. He might end up a crazy partier in college but I would bet against it , while attending a great college while these kids who come from a wealthier background with the party parents, are attending the bottom of the barrel state schools.The moral of the story is care about your kids , they are the best investment you will make.</p>