<p>If you are not drinking and driving AND you aren’t riding with a drinker, how are you getting to and from your places of drinking?</p>
<p>A person’s brain does not stop growing until age 25. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the reasoning – which is why teens often make shortsighted choices. The fact that you get drunk nearly every weekend indicates that you are a binge drinker. </p>
<p>Did you know that it only takes 18 months for a person to become an alcoholic? If you aren’t there yet, you’re on your way. Please stop while you (hopefully) still can. </p>
<p>What you have described is high-functioning substance abuse behaviour. Just because someone is academically successful does not mean that they do not have a substance abuse problem. </p>
<p>It sounds as if your parents have attempted to be straight forward and realistic with you about drinking. But don’t kid yourself that weekend binge drinking is the same as drinking responsibly.</p>
<p>That’s a self-reported survey. I think the real numbers are higher, particularly for the older kids. Unless it just miraculously jumps to 90+ % in freshman year of college.</p>
<p>It’s hard to understand these parents’ mentality as far as drinking goes, but I’ve posted here about my 12 yr. old who was invited to a party where beer was served. (the bday boy drank so much that he barfed…lovely) ( My son didn’t go to the party). In this particular situation, its what I call the “Fun-Dad Syndrome” where the parents haven’t grown up themselves and look on their kids as fellow partyers. Very odd and immature in my book. I shudder to think what these kids will be like in high school as they’re only 7th graders now! Parents need to keep a united front about this sort of thing, and parents like the ones I’m referring to really screw things up for the rest of us!</p>
<p>just wanted to share my $.02 on the subject.</p>
<p>kids at my school (suburban & affluent prep school) started drinking heavily & smoking around 6th grade (age 11-13). it began as an activity reserved for the “popular kids” on weekends, when someone’s mom/dad went out of town or something. as far as i know, no parents ever SUPPLIED their kids with alcohol, but i don’t doubt that many parents knew that drinking went on in their homes & did nothing to stop it (in the case of my school, i think parents let it slide because they didnt want to commit the social murder of their children by reporting illegal behavior). </p>
<p>however - what i am most concerned with is the mentality of parents on this forum, who claim their kids are “too busy” to drink or kids who “have friends that drink, but they dont”. i’m sorry, but this really seems like a manifestation of denial to me. no one wants to even entertain the notion that their kid involves themself in illegal or high-risk behavior, but people really need to be realistic about the situation. if theres one thing my high school social experience taught me, it was to never trust appearances. just because you THINK your kid doesnt drink, or because your kid TELLS you he/she doesn’t does not (by any means) make it true. in fact, some of the biggest drinkers/partiers at my school had angelic reputations with their families and told their parents elaborate lies to preserve them. </p>
<p>drinking is a MAJOR element of the social scene in high school, and I wholeheartedly agree with WTIDad’s assertion about self reported surveys about drinking.</p>
<p>*kids at my school (suburban & affluent prep school) started drinking heavily & smoking around 6th grade (age 11-13). it began as an activity reserved for the “popular kids” on weekends, when someone’s mom/dad went out of town or something. as far as i know, no parents ever SUPPLIED their kids with alcohol, but i don’t doubt that many parents knew that drinking went on in their homes & did nothing to stop it (in the case of my school, i think parents let it slide because they didnt want to commit the social murder of their children by reporting illegal behavior). *</p>
<p>I don’t disagree that for your persepctive your viewpoint is fairly accurate.
However I would argue that parents who leave their minor children unsupervised with access to alcohol - aren’t any different than the parents who actively * provide* it.</p>
<p>I also find it interesting- and somewhat predictable, that parents who know what their kids are doing out of school, either because they are fairly involved in what they are doing or they know well other adults who are fairly involved with the activity- are told by other teens who wish to justify their own behavior, that, that they actually shouldn’t believe that their kids are doing what they say they are doing.</p>
<p>Believe me I know about lying to parents- about parents who want to believe that their kid is an angel because then they don’t have to get involved in their life.
I had sex when I was 15- around the same time I began drinking and using drugs- I snuck out of the house regularly to attend parties.
I was just waiting for some adult to step in- I even told my mother what I was doing- but she thought I was * kidding*.
I knew where my daughter was going because I drove her there.
Not because I didn’t trust her, but she didn’t have her liscence, we didn’t have a car available for her to drive anyway & since she attended a private school that attracted students from all over the region, not many kids even came from our part of the city to carpool with.</p>
<p>I also question your use of the term “popular”.
Popular with whom?
Using drugs and alcohol in middle school ( 11-13), may be popular with kids who are trying to self medicate their way out of dealing with depression or whatever- but at my daughters school that sort of activity, that young & or regularly would be looked down upon</p>
<p>Clearly local norms vary regarding extent of drinking. That being said, the most interesting research finding I’m aware of is that the single best predictor of drinking behavior is a student’s PERCEPTION of how much/often his/her peers are drinking. This is more predictive than the ACTUAL drinking rates of the peers. Most of us overestimate the frequency/amount (and then “drink up” to the perceived norm).</p>
<p>“What you have described is high-functioning substance abuse behaviour. Just because someone is academically successful does not mean that they do not have a substance abuse problem.”</p>
<p>please. just because i enjoy drinking i am by no means an alcoholic…and if you’re saying i have a problem, then so do tens of thousands of teenagers and young adults in my city alone…i have my “habit” totally under control-i could choose to stop drinking if i wanted to, but it’s enjoyable and since i have suffered no adverse effects of it, i plan on continuing. i don’t drink because i believe that it’s the only way that i can have fun, i drink because it’s ONE way to have a fun night.</p>
<p>also, i really don’t think that my drinking is THAT dangerous, although i obviously concede that it’s not a very healthy habit. if you’re concerned by my drinking habits, i hate to tell you, that most university, and many high school students drink FAR more than i do…you’re suggestion that this is hurting my chances at success in university seems a tad exaggerated to me. i know PLENTY of people doing very well in university who have learned to balance partying and studying.</p>
<p>katiebee,
There are a number of things that you are doing that are protective; you drink with people that you trust, you don’t drink and drive, you don’t ride with a driver who has been drinking, you’re aware of the ways that alcohol can negatvely impact judgment, and you are alert to possible adverse effects. I’m glad that you are tuning into these issues. You are also aware that drinking regularly isn’t healthy. Since you have decided that you will continue to drink, you may want to also be aware that women (of the same size as a man) who drink the same amount, will not metabolize the alcohol as quickly. Thus your BAL, blood alcohol level, will be higher. Most people (who have not developed tolerance) with find a BAC of .05 - .06 to produce the most positive sensations and minimize the negative effects. Drinking more does not increase or prolong the euphoria. So… if you choose to drink, continue to minimize harm by avoiding shots and drinking games, alternating alcoholic with non-alcoholic drinks, eating before and while drinking. Also please do note that MOST high school students do not drink, and whereas MOST college students drink, they do so moderately. Approximately 70% of the alcohol is consumed by 30% of the students.</p>
<p>This is what I like about CC. What interesting insights and discussions, broad range of perspectives.
I would like to add to katiebee, that we just had a tragic accident in our community where four drunk kids got in a car and killed themselves and four innocent people in another car. The fifth kid who survived reported that usually they are very responsible when they drink, they never drive. But they had a craving for hamburgers and it didn’t seem unreasonable to drive the five blocks. Remember if you are drunk it is hard to be responsible.</p>
<p>LONDON (Reuters) - Teenage girls in the UK have overtaken boys as binge drinkers for the first time and are now second only behind Irish girls in Europe, according to a report on Thursday. </p>
<p>The Institute of Alcohol Studies said 29 percent of teenage girls were binge drinkers in 2003 compared with 26 percent of boys. In 1999 the figure was 27 percent and 33 percent respectively.</p>
<p>It said over a quarter of all 15- and 16-year-olds in Britain had been on drink binges three or more times in the last month.</p>
<p>Among adults, Britons rank among the top binge drinkers in Europe, causing widespread damage to the nation’s health and social fabric.</p>
<p>The study said British drinkers binge about once every 13 days - 28 days a year - the second-highest rate in Europe behind Finland and Ireland, both on 32 times.</p>
<p>“Drink early. and often” seems to be their motto. So much for the success of lower drinking ages. ;)</p>
<p>I am still wondering how you get to and from these partying locations. AND, you are not in a position to know whether or not you are an alcoholic (or close to becoming one). Even if thousands of kids are drinking as much (or more) than you are doesn’t mean that all these kids don’t ALSO have drinking problems.</p>
<p>regarding getting roo and from these places, i am definitely not irresponsible-i take the subway and taxis everywhere that i got when i’ve been drinking. if i ever drive with someone, i make sure it is someone that i trust and who i KNOW has not been drinking. trust me, no one who i know and trust would drink or drive.</p>
<p>i’d just like to reiterate than i am mainly relaying my “story” just to give you an idea that of the students who drink and party regularly, not all of us are stupid about it. while we acknowledge that drinking is not a healthy habit, we are at least doing it in a way that we feel comfortable with and are dealing with our own actions etc. my main point is that teenage drinking will never stop, and so therefore the most realistic way to handle it is not through preaching, but through realistic education. just like how abstinence-only sex ed will never be effective with teenagers, neither will the preaching of alcohol abstinence.</p>
<p>Hi katiebee,
Well, you are very smart and articulate. Perhaps you are also perceptive enough to pick up on the subtext of many of these messages to you.</p>
<p>I was wondering when you were going to say that everyone is ‘preaching’ – I can see your eyes rolling from here! Can’t say as I blame you.</p>
<p>I think all the statistics and nightmare scenarios will probably not change your mind about your partying, I dare say you’ve likely heard them before.</p>
<p>If I can indulge in some projection: think that possibly, maybe, some people of my generation (i.e., the Stoned Age) would like to hope that young people today would be smarter than we were. That they would choose to devote their social time to better pursuits than getting sloshed or stoned. That they would go through school with their eyes open and their heads on straight. We have limitless dreams for our young people – our kids, their friends, our nieces, nephews, and the wonderful students on CC. “Some of the best minds of our generation” messed up their lives beyond repair. Some died stupid and senseless deaths. What a freaking waste.</p>
<p>Challenge yourself to be better than we were.<br>
AnudduhM.</p>
<p>So preaching is no good, but education is acceptable. Here is some education. If you enjoy drinking, you are likely to continue. If you continue drinking, alcohol will damage your body, mind, and soul. Eventually, alcohol will control your life. Everyone is different. Some people can drink for many years with little effect. Others are seriously damaged quickly with relatively small amounts of alcohol. Until the harm is very advanced, you will not recognize it. You will believe you are in control and you have the power to decide. If others recognize there is a problem and confront you, you will not believe them. You will deny there is a problem. All your reasoning and rationalizations will convince you that you decide to drink because it is fun, you enjoy the taste, and you can handle it. For these reasons alcohol has been called cunning, baffling, and powerful.</p>
<p>If abstinence is not acceptable, I am not sure there is a better way. You can always try to drink less frequently and in moderation. Maybe that will work, maybe not. You won’t know until it is too late to avoid serious, lifelong damage. If this sounds like preaching, it could be you just do not want to hear the facts. There is no shortage of information. You can do your own reading and research. The facts are pretty depressing and scary, but you can always choose to ignore them. Many people do.</p>
<p>“If abstinence is not acceptable, I am not sure there is a better way.”</p>
<p>Of course there is a better way. I drink because I enjoy the taste, its social, I can handle it…I drink in moderation, I like the taste of wine, something that has been around forever.</p>
<p>What I am seeing here is a kind of Reefer Madness script in some posts…not effective and not realiistic</p>
<p>People have been drinking and altering their conciousness throughout time, little kids spin in circles until they get dizzy, and there is no reason for responsible adults to think it has to be all or nothing for themselves</p>
<p>I don’t like teens getting blotto- it makes for dangerous situations, but this we drank like fish when we were younger, and sure we are okay now, but heaven forbid you should be like us, is treating these young adults like morans. They see right through it.</p>