<p>Many of the seniors are approaching age 18 - and will be headed off to college next year. </p>
<p>Does you student still have a curfew? What time is it? Will you soon lift or extend it?</p>
<p>My son’s curfew is 11pm weeknights and 2am weekends. I don’t think I’ll be changing it before this summer.</p>
<p>I am not a parent, but I will share my parents’ curfew policies. </p>
<p>I don’t have a curfew and never have, there was never a need to. On weeknights I come home by 8:30-9 at the latest usually. This year, my class has been having a lot more parties and hanging out later. I spend the night or abstain if there is drinking. If we go to see a midnight movie and then go to Denny’s, I am home at 3-4. </p>
<p>Will parents who enforce a curfew explain it to me? I have never understood what it accomplishes. If my dad were to say he wanted me home early for some reason, I would be. I have only seen stress caused by curfews among my peers. Please explain it to me, I really want to know, especially if a curfew has done noticeable good in your family.</p>
<p>my daughters curfew depended on where she was going. During the week she was too busy so unless she was at a school sponsored event she was home by 9pm
On weekends she was also very busy, and if she wasn’t home by 11 she was staying overnight at a friends
I wouldnt be comfortable frankly with allowing her to stay out till 2 am ( does any city have curfews?), and even now that she is 22 I don’t like her out that late.</p>
<p>Lindsaylu-</p>
<p>Do you have a car and driver’s license?</p>
<p>yes I do .</p>
<p>See my daughter didn’t attend "parties"as I am thinking of them.
She worked at least one weekend day a week starting at 8. The next weekend day was needed to finish up homework, they generally had lots of it.
She saw her friends at her job which was also her extra curricular activity, they often did things afterward, but didn’t have parties with drinking and what not, they would more likely rent movies and stay up late making odd desserts.</p>
<p>What time does your driver’s license mandate that you stop driving?</p>
<p>I set a curfew because I do not sleep comfortably knowing that my son is out with the car in the middle of the night. By 2am I want to be sound asleep, with no chance of getting a call telling me that he’s on his way here or there. My son likes to “check in”…so I get at least one call while he is out at night. </p>
<p>My experience with him and his friends is that they are not into spending the night at each other’s homes…they are either hanging out somewhere (concert, restaurant, event) or are at their GF’s homes. He doesn’t need to be at his GFs home at 3 and 4am. Her parents are totally cool, and often invite him to sleep over…but I’ve had discussions with him about respecting her, her home, her parents - and getting out of there at a decent hour. </p>
<p>I asked about your license because, where we live, 17 year olds are not supposed to be out driving past 11pm. Hardly anyone obeys that - but I’m curious about you having no curfew and where you live that allows limitless hanging out. In my son;s case, he’s at his GFs house after 11pm…not out in public. How do you get away with being in a Denny’s at 4am?</p>
<p>i never had a curfew, and neither does my sister or cousins that live with us. junior licenses (up till 18) in my state are till 11pm, although i know my cousin works till 11 on weekends so he doesn’t get home till after that. normally if my cousin is going to be out late he just crashes the night at his friends house, actually a lot of times he doesnt even go there till like 10pm. </p>
<p>i come and go as i please, and i did that during high school as well. i remember calling for a ride home at 1 am once when i was about 15, my mom wasn’t too happy! my best friends mom was supposed to take me home after this party we were at, but she got a migrane and couldn’t drive.</p>
<p>We just go to Denny’s because it is the only place open at those hours. This is only really for after a movie if we go to that weeks midnight movie (popular in my town). </p>
<p>In CA there are provisional laws for lisenced drivers under 18. You cannot drive with other people in the car for the first six months and cannot drive between 12am and 5am for the first year. These are fairly new laws and pretty much ignored by everyone.</p>
<p>When I read ‘limitless hanging out’ it made me smile. I guess this would be allowed by my parents, the town, etc. I would hardly say I take advantage of ‘limitless hanging out’ though. I am home most weekends. I am also very responsible, the main reason my parents trust me to come and go as I choose. I can definitely see where you are coming from about not wanting your son out driving in the middle of the night though.</p>
<p>edit: My dad used to worry about me being out late and driving too. He stayed up waiting for me one night (It didn’t occurr to him to call my cell phone 
). After he saw that I was all in one piece and totally sober he stopped waiting up for me. One reason I have such freedom is that my other siblings were completely different. They were huge party animals and it was not unusual for my parents to get calls from the cops about them on any given weekend.</p>
<p>wow… I dont really need a curfew… I’m so tired by 11 or 12 that I rarely stay out later… I never just sleep overuntil the next moringing, but then again, i dont drink</p>
<p>Another reason for my 2am limit is that the clubs and bars close at 2. IMO, having him home before 2 gets him off of the road before all of the drunks, who close the bars and clubs, hit the road. </p>
<p>Really, on the weekends, the only thing that bothers me is the fact that he’s driving. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have a curfew for him. As he gains more experience with driving, I’ll feel more comfortable.</p>
<p>S doesn’t go out during the week, but on the weekend he’s home by 12:30 or he calls me for a few more minutes of grace. His junior year he had to be home by 11:00.</p>
<p>No official curfew at our house. Just, what time will you be home? And sticking to that. My D is very responsible so we don’t worry. With plays and perfomances, there can be late nights.</p>
<p>My parents were the same way with me-- “just tell us when you’ll be home so we know what time we should start to worry.”</p>
<p>SBmom, that’s the practice here also. “What time will you be back?” If he’s not going to be able to make it, he calls to let us know and/or negotiate (and this happens perhaps once every other month, and it’s never a long extension). Oh, and instead of staying up waiting for him now, we have a pact that even if the bedroom door is closed, he will open it, poke his head in, and say good night when he gets in… and wait for confirmation that I’ve heard him. I sleep better that way.</p>
<p>LOL. It’s 11:45 pm., daughter (age 16) is not home - I know she is out with friends from the Mock Trial team after the competition this evening --so I gave her a call, pointing out gently that it is a school night. </p>
<p>Turns out that it isn’t. SF schools get off for Chinese New Years. (Once again I curse the school system… they have a very odd holiday and half-day schedule that I can never get used to). </p>
<p>But bottom line - my daughter has no curfew. She is supposed to call me around 5-6 to let me know if she’s planning on coming home for dinner - (to cook, or not to cook?) … and always call me before midnight to let me know her plans. Part of the reason for no curfew is that there is generally no problem or issue – she usually is home fairly early on school nights, and she’s always been one for sleeping over at friend’s houses, so the “not coming home” part is something I was used to from the time she was very small. I seem to have some sort of sixth sense about this anyway … whether she tells me or not, I usually just “know” where she is and who she is with. </p>
<p>I would freak out if it weren’t for the cell phone – but as long as I can reach her, I don’t really care. She’s pretty good about calling to let me know if she’s going to be out late, anyway. I’d have to say the Lindsaylu has things pretty well pegged – if the kids around here are out past midnight, chances are they are the local Denny’s. It’s the only place open late at night where high school kids are welcome to hang out. (That was true in my day, too).</p>
<p>My daughter has a car and there is an absolute, non-negotiable, zero-tolerance rule against drinking and driving – if I find out that she does it, even once, then I will take away the license and take away the car. She loves that car. She knows I am serious - because it is just about the only rule I’ve got. So if she is ever going to a party where she even thinks there could be drinking going on, she leaves the car at home.</p>
<p>There is a driver’s license restriction after midnight, but legally kids can’t be pulled over merely to check for that – the only time it would be enforced would be if the kid was pulled over for something else. I don’t know of any kid actually being cited for that, anyway. So I really don’t care about that either – if my daughter were habitually driving around at 2 am I might feel differently, but the reality is that if she is on the road after midnight, then she is headed home.</p>
<p>We’ve never had a curfew for any of our 4 Ds. They have always kept us informed as to where they’re going and approximately what time they expect to be home. I don’t recall ever having a problem which would have caused us to re-examine the way we do it. They all have cell phones so if I feel the need to confirm where they are or when they’ll be heading home, I can do so.</p>
<p>As the mother of a middle schooler this thread is making me incredibly nervous!</p>
<p>WOW. Our police do pull kids over. My g/f’s DTR brought home by police for being out past curfew. So, if not home by 11, then kids sleep out. </p>
<p>4 big couches in my house. Kids had their favorites, and knew where to go to get sheets and pillows. On NYs, the hostess made pror plans for everyone to sleep over. I guess there are some advantages to living in a small city. No sleepless nights.</p>
<p>Wow, too. You are very generous Momsdream. My 18 yr old has to be in by 12 on weekends. If there is a special circumstance he has to call us.If a child has junior license in PA it is against the law for them to be out past midnight driving. Furthermore, like Bookworm our police do keep a lookout for those breaking curfew. Sometimes, in the summer I have seen small groups of two out between 11-12 wandering about.I consider them road hazards.</p>
<p>We have never had a curfew for D. She is so busy schoolnights, + has to be up at 6:30 every Saturday for Debate tournaments. Most Saturday nights she is beat, and if she does go out, she calls to check in. But this baby that went into overtime (induced at 9 months + 2 weeks), still loves her sleep better than anything else. She is now a Senior, and 17 1/2.</p>
<p>S, a Soph., at 16, has no time to socialize weekdays, due to athletics; He also has the Saturday Debate; but most of his socializing is at sleepovers, where no sleeping is done.</p>
<p>D drives herself. S has opted not to get a license, but to take instead my sweet deal of banking the savings in insurance.</p>