<p>I agree with backhandgrip. There are too many drunks out past midnight and people drag racing. One night my son came home at 12:30 and had just seen a couple of cars doing 100 mph on a road near where we live. It’s just too dangerous around here to be out past 12:00 or 12:30.</p>
<p>There was never a spoken curfew with oldest D (who is now in college). Usually she met up with friends for dinner and movie on the weekends. 90% of the time, she was home by midnight. If not, she always called before entering the theater. Even if the group made a last minute decision to hang out after eating, D would always phone to let us know when to expect her home…never passed 12:30 am. Of course, now she is a night owl…rarely to bed earlier than 2 am!!! ;)</p>
<p>D has never had a specific curfew but then again she hasn’t needed one. The few instances she was out late (after midnight) have all been pre-approved. Weird kid. </p>
<p>Overheard this argument Friday about a special circumstance-a raid. “No ,D. That is unsafe .Y’all need to pick her up at 3:15 am and not a minute before.” I was goggle eyed, well -like this :eek: really, until DW said “Y’all don’t need to be driving between midnight and an hour after the bars close. Give the drunks time to get in the ditch.” Funny girl but she’s right.</p>
<p>My standards are different for first child and now the remaining two. D (the oldest) had to be in by 12:00 unless previous arrangements were made. I’ll never forget the first time she intentionally disregarded the time. Her brother woke me to say she wasn’t home and I went through all the horrors of h before she was located. She got grounded. Why has my attitude changed? I think it is because I moved to a very safe area, so feel less concern. Son 1 is supposed to be home by 1:00 or 1:30 on weekend nights, but lately he has been looking to me for direction to come home earlier, like, “please tell me to come in, I need to sleep.” Son 2 is a night owl, and it’s not yet clear what his social life is evolving to be. I think I’ll put his father in charge of that one.</p>
<p>This fall, I got in trouble for curfew by the police. It was homecoming week and we were out TPing our captian’s houses, kind of a tradition, and there were a lot of other kids out just TPing random houses at 4am. But they did pull us over, and we were worried that the driver would loose her liscence because you’re not supposed to be driving between 1-5am if you’re under 18, but luckily they didn’t do anything. We ended up getting mayor’s court and 3 saturdays of community service, but we don’t have a record–unless we get caught again, and then we have to go downtown.</p>
<p>At my dad’s house, he just asks when I’ll be home. I’ll let him know what I’m doing and then usually check in once during the night. I’m usually home before 1, mostly because I’m afraid of getting pulled over again even though I’m just going home.
At my mom’s, she’s a little stricter and sets a curfew which I usually have to try to extend. I like how my dad does it better–it’s less stressful and annoying.</p>
<p>momofthree – I think it’s just natural that we worry more about our first child. My son didn’t have a curfew - he didn’t need one because he never went out late, and he didn’t have a car. The first time there was an issue was when he was a month shy of his 18th birthday and stayed out past 1 am one night - I was frantic. But it really was an issue of miscommunication & the fact that he had forgotten his cell phone. The following year, of course, he was off at college - and when he came home, I got used to his coming and going as he pleased. </p>
<p>My kids are 5 years apart, and by the time I really had to deal with the issue with my younger child - when my daughter started driving – I was pretty used to the idea that the world didn’t stop turning on its axis every time I failed to monitor my son’s nocturnal comings and goings. </p>
<p>Anyway, I’m sure that my daughter is exposed to more “danger” than her brother was - she’s the one who commutes to school in the city and has friends living far and wide, whereas most of his friends and activities were more localized. But I put “danger” in quotes, because realistically my daughter faces more road hazards when she drives to & from her urban school in rush hour traffic, then with late night suburban driving.</p>
<p>Calmom, you have nailed it. There are five years between D and S1, and I have been able to accept more since my daughter made it successfully out of adolescence. And you are right again about the general danger of being on the road in daylight hours. I still do have a line I pull out with S1 and S2 as to “there’s not much good going on in the hours between 1:00 and 4:00 a.m., so don’t set yourself up.” So far, that’s working. (Cross fingers.)</p>