What are you doing today?

A CCRC doesn’t always take care of all needs. Type A contracts don’t charge more for moving to a different level of care, but others do. Independent living will screen my friend out. If residents develop dementia while there, they don’t get kicked out. They hire help to come in or often pay double for memory care, which is a lot of money. (My mother was in assisted living and I visited daily. I call it unassisted living.)

It depends on the CCRC. My mom moved through all levels of her CCRC. Started in Independent and then moved to Assisted and then to the Nursing home. It was an amazing place and took care of her so well. All the staff were wonderful. They were even willing to work with us at that time and consider moving my dad straight into nursing care, but he died before we got mom moved.

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As I said, my friend will not be able to enter as independent so it is very different from your mom. My mother was in a high end place but assisted living residents are tenants not patients and can refuse help. Once she said no to a shower, the staff just turned around and left. So I had to do it. They would not do wound care. If my mother took a bandage off, I had to drive 20 minutes to replace it. I did colostomy care to keep her there. Dementia changes everything. If you go in doing okay, independent, and pay for that, the communities keep you there. Entering with dementia can be impossible or costly.

Feeling a lot better and am able to keep food down. I skipped yoga because I’m afraid I might be a bit contagious still.

I did another load of laundry today. Tried ( failed) to set up a smart WiFi plug. I’ll have to have the kids help me with that sometime.

Tried on clothes I will pack for my trip to Florida next week.

Made plans to attend a local fun event with friends on Saturday evening.

Going to run a few contactless errands this afternoon ( getting gas, mailing a few things).
Might take a walk if I feel up to it.

Forgot to mention yesterday I finished the 1000 piece puzzle I had been working on!

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My mom was actually in the beginning stages of dementia when she entered the CCRC. It was pretty noticeable to us and is why we insisted on it. She stayed in Independent for about 9 mo to a year. They were very helpful when she was moved to Assisted at the CCRC and what happened with your mom would never have happened there. They took care of all her needs. There was a doctor for regular appointments on site. I accompanied her to many/most of them. They had an acute care clinic if she needed help overnight like when she had a UTI but did not need to go full time to the nursing home. It was and is an amazing CCRC and took excellent care of my mom.

I’m sorry your mom’s care was not as good and I hope that you can help your friend figure out a good plan for her care. You are a great friend to step in and help her, especially after all the care you provided for your mom.

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Your mom probably did not refuse help! My mother’s facility was excellent but as long as she refused, they would not do anything. If your mom had said no, same thing would have happened.

I am looking at CCRC’s myself and being careful about the choice.

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From what I’ve learned/heard/seen over the years, there is a wide range of rules at these CCRCs and states have different regulations too. It’s really hard to extrapolate one’s personal experience to another.

My mom refused all kinds of stuff too but because she didn’t have legal capacity because of her ALZ, I was able to override her as POA for health care.

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We’re working on a renovation project at a building on the Colby campus. We’re responsible for designing the shoring and other temporary supports necessary while they demolish part of the building. My husband is going up to Waterville tomorrow for a meeting, so we have to get these drawings finished today. But then I also have to lead the mental health support group that my son and I attend. It may be another late night. Typical for the days leading up to vacation!

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My mother was not in a CCRC. Assisted living with monthly rent. I had an invoked proxy and POA (MD invoked) and could act as her. But she remained a tenant with the right to refuse. Once hospice was involved she was a patient and the aide was firm and persistent and got her to comply.

Some assisted livings pay aides by task and some pay them by time spent. Nothing against the aides who I was grateful for. But once my mother said no they still got paid for the task that was refused.

End of tangent!

Today has been more eventful than most! Had Pilates this morning, then met a friend for lunch. We had a great time solving all of the world’s problems!

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After a poor night of sleep, I got to the dentist for an 8 a.m. appt to put on a temporary crown. I’m already yawning so I think I’ll sleep well tonight.

Got home sooner than I thought so was able to do my regular workout and then business as usual. Business being unloading the dishwasher, watching sports and other podcasts, about to go grab a puzzle I just got from Buy Nothing. Dh and I don’t do enough puzzles. We rarely use the dining room table so we can leave it there and take our time.

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Today is our usual “Walmart Wednesday!” Jealous anyone? (crickets)

But first the usual workout/work. Then for giggles, while the chicken parmesan is in the oven, I’m going to mop the kitchen floor and some of the hardwoods. H will not take off his boots in the house, so the floors are covered in salt and grime. I was trying to wait until everything melted and then just do it once, but it might be another week or so before it’s gone.

The guys are definitely back today. It’s been very loud in here in the office. And I am wearing real pants and a sweater.

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People - there is already a thread about parents caring for parents, so please post about your parents’ care on that thread.

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So much for the errands. Went out to my garage and my car battery is dead! Car has been towed to the dealership as I want a new one. This is a car that is less than 4 years old and fewer than 11K miles!

Oh, and the exact same thing happened a year ago ( dealer’s service department confirmed).

My battery is one year old!

Grrrrrr…

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I went to my volunteer job after letting in the handyman who was going to install my new instant hot water faucet. It’s a highlight of my week as I enjoy the people I volunteer with.

This afternoon has been spent doing some deep research into files from the 60’s-90’s. I’m working on some projects from my previous job.

Now relaxing and having an iced coffee while sitting in the sunshine.

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Is this because of the bitter cold? Taking notes …

Not sure. It was colder a few weeks ago. And my car has been in the garage. Last drove it on Sunday because I was under the weather. Still shouldn’t happen.

That is very annoying. A good car battery should be good for 7 or so years. Despite the cold.

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Today I made a white chocolate mocha in my Nespresso. It was divine lol!

Walked the neighborhood. Went out for tacos.

Played mahjong and drank wine with my friends.

Last night we talked to our daughter, who’s freaking out that her husband tore his ACL. My husband called his mother, she’s 90. It seems that she has a disagreement every time we call with another friend. They are in their 90’s, people forget things! It seems that you shouldn’t fight with the few friends that are still alive but that’s me!

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You want a new car or a new battery?

Super annoying! Your garage should help a lot even with the cold.