<p>So…all the sudden, I feel really, REALLY miserable about my college choice. I don’t want to go there at all anymore. I feel almost depressed about it. I didn’t really want to go to begin with (it was my dad’s idea), but now new circumstances are arising that make it seem even worse.</p>
<p>Is there anything I can do? I already told my other colleges that I wouldn’t be attending, and now I really regret it.</p>
<p>Help?</p>
<p>I really hate my life right now.</p>
<p>Buyer’s remorse huh. Try contacting the admissions teams at the other schools.</p>
<p>Is there anything you like about the college you picked? If there isn’t definitely try to contact the schools you turned down. Otherwise, I’d just focus on the redeeming qualities of w/e school you plan on attending. Afterall, college is what you can make it work out even if you’re feeling somewhat regretful :-)</p>
<p>What are the colleges involved?</p>
<p>yeah spill the beans!</p>
<p>Nevermind. I think I’m just going to stick it out and go to the college I sent in the deposit to, and if it turns out badly, I’ll just transfer. </p>
<p>Spill the beans? Ehh. I don’t want to give names (there’s a lot of personal drama that I don’t necessarily want reflected towards the schools). But I can share the story. </p>
<p>Basically, for the past few years of my life, I’ve been living in the shadow of family drama. My mom and brother both have major substance abuse problems, and I’ve been kind of cast into the background. I’ve always looked forward to college, so that I could finally get the chance to start my own life. </p>
<p>I applied to a bunch of schools, and got into all of them. I had a really hard time deciding, and my dad (who I actually have a good relationship with) persuaded me to go to one that’s far away from home, but within 15 minutes of my entire extended family. He said it would strike a great balance - I’d have distance, but I’d also have people around to support me. </p>
<p>So I sent in my deposit. But right after the initial excitement faded, realization sunk it…“What the heck am I doing?”. Although I’ll be away from the immediate problem (my mom and brother), I’ll still have to hear my relatives’ concerns and worries, and I’m not really going to be escaping the drama at all. And since my mom and brother will have more incentive to come and visit me there, it’s really not going to be “my own place”.</p>
<p>I don’t know. Maybe I’m worrying for nothing. Maybe it will work out fine. Who knows?</p>
<p>Time for you to set boundaries!</p>
<p>It’s your life, you’re in college, you need to attend to your studies. If you can’t be bothered by your family, tell them not to bother you. You’re not going to be living with them.</p>
<p>Bottom line, no matter where you go, you’re <em>never</em> going to escape your family’s problems. When you get to college, touch base with the counseling office there and make an appointment with a counselor. Let them know what’s going on and say that you might need some help dealing with it at some point, setting boundaries and keeping <em>yourself</em> healthy.</p>
<p>Family problems are no fun. I think having extended family nearby is probably a good idea, because I think you’ll find it nice to go over and visit with them occasionally, as a change of pace from college… just make sure that your limits are clear, and that they’re not to come dropping by or calling you at all hours to tell you about this, that, or the other. It’s not your job to take care of your mom and brother, it’s not your job to listen to their concerns and worries, it’s your job to pursue your studies.</p>
<p>I think it’ll be okay! Just build up your resources at college. Make friends, get involved in activities on campus, get a support network in place with your new friends and RAs and the counseling center so they can be on standby if you need help with the situation, and do the whole college student thing. I don’t think you’re worrying for nothing, I think your concerns are definitely valid ones, but I think that if you go into the situation with confidence and ready to set limits on your family, you’re going to really enjoy college. =)</p>
<p>Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>make the best of it and then transfer. maybe you’ll find you like it
or
take a gap year and reapply to other places</p>
<p>where are you headed?</p>