<p>Of course it would. Descend from your high horse. </p>
<p>The root of my ridicule was actually concern about all the stereotypes related to bi- or homosexuality and the fact that some people cast it as unnatural or sinful. In my mind, it’s something you are, and are born with. </p>
<p>To the poster: If your minister is anything like my religious mother, I would not approach him about this, if you are concerned about yourself. </p>
<p>There are all kinds of support groups who can talk to you about transitioning into becoming someone who is self-aware.</p>
<p>If this is about you: know that there are a lot of people who would accept you exactly as you are.</p>
<p>Oh. To answer the question then, bisexuality is caused by an attraction to both men and women. </p>
<p>No really, its not clear what causes it, but it happens. You should know by the way, that not all bisexuals are equally attracted to both genders. Some prefer one to another.</p>
<p>Also, being “girly” does not make one gay or bi, it just makes one girly. Not surprisingly, some girls really like that. That may be why “your friend” does so well at making friends with girls. There is probably just an initial shyness about taking things a step further with those girls.</p>
<p>I personally have not known many people who are bisexual who are not considerably more attracted to their own sex, and of these they have been women almost exclusively.</p>
<p>I had the same suspician, but it doesn’t change my response. If you’re curious for yourself, be honest about it (I mean, you are anonymous on here), and we’ll help you out. You don’t need to be ashamed at all if you are asking for yourself and initially decided to say it was for a “friend,” but it would help us all get a better idea of why you’re having these concerns… 20 year old men usually have other signs of their sexual orientation than just their college major and whether they like to grill. I think that we can all point you in the right direction in that case. Further, I do wonder (in either instance–whether it’s you or honestly a friend) whether you’ve looked elsewhere on the internet for information. I would suggest it. </p>
<p>Great job going through all that, SplashMom. If you’d like to talk to someone, I’d suggest asking one of your close, female friends rather than a religious figure. That’s what friends are for.</p>
<p>To OP: Please know that there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi. And the depression might very well be caused by the confusion.</p>
<p>I agree that approaching a religious leader is probably the worst thing you could do. That might very likely just confuse you more, if you are condemned or judged.</p>
<p>There are lots of support groups who won’t judge you. Please do find them and get some help. Being gay or bi is no big deal, but being depressed can be quite serious. Please address the depression, soon! Good luck!</p>
I didn’t know not liking cooking on grills and not liking cars made you gay. Then I’m a flaming homosexual haha. That is the stupidist thing I have ever heard in my life. Sports have nothing to do with being gay or not.</p>
<p>Just the bottom line I think you should worry about your own issues with people’s orientation and your friend’s depression than the fact that he may or may not play for both teams.</p>
<p>TO THE OP: if you are even still reading this thread. Please, for your own sake, stop reading it. Take some of the good advice here, and act on it. Ignore some of the other stuff.
To the other posters: some of you have been trying to help, obviously this is a conflicted person who is looking for guidance. Why is it necessary to have a laugh at the OP’s expense or to go back and look at other posts to point out inconsistencies or the fact that the OP may be talking about himself?<br>
If the OP is talking about himself, think of how he feels and what this thread is doing to him…ignorance can be corrected and excused. Sheer meanness cannot.</p>
<p>Good response, Ebeeee. OP, please realize that many of these responses have been made by teenagers who have not had time to mature enough to be compassionate and who may be frightened of their own conflicted feelings.</p>
<p>…agree with the two posts above; although, it should be said that most of the moralizing was regrettably done, as far as I can tell, by sober, finger pointing adults.</p>
<p>Sometimes it is simply best to hold the self righteous fire.</p>
<p>Whatever the case with the op, there was and is a very apparent confusion and certainly nothing like a course meanness in his query–as was repeatedly implied by the wizened and sanctimonious amongst us.</p>
<p>My post was not intended to ridicule or be mean. I just got to thinking about some of the things the OP had said and it occurred to me that he was talking about himself instead of a “friend”. At that point, I felt it important for us to give serious advice versus the silly stuff. I truly believe the OP is struggling with his feelings and is looking for someone to confirm whether or not he may be bisexual. We can’t do that. We don’t know him. We can only advise him to be true to himself and sit down and talk with someone who knows him or someone he feels comfortable bringing into the situation.</p>
<p>Actually, Dorothy, knowing that the OP was the one questioning his sexuality wouldn’t change my advice much at all. The people who are “afraid” they might be bi or gay are virtually always raised in a homophobic environment, where such topics are taboo. To get over this feeling of guilt, they need to learn to let go of this learned notion that homosexual thoughts and acts are inherently bad, i.e., overcome their own homophobia.</p>
<p>The person who seems to be the majority of finger-pointing at this juncture is you, so please stop slinging the sanctimonious rhetoric. Without context, the original post appeared to be more of a ■■■■■ than a serious question, the way it played off all sorts of sexual stereotypes.</p>
<p>The initial inquiry, in an of itself, was filled with homophobia. The responses were expected, to that kind of post.</p>
<p>Even knowing that the OP and his “friend” are one and the same, I think it is important to point out gender stereotypes. If the OP is struggling with his sexual identity, he may need some help sorting it out. I only hope he doesn’t end up at a minister who believes he can be “cured” of his wayward feelings, and that, instead, he can learn to accept and love himself, as he is.</p>
<p>However one reads the identity of the op, the post was certainly confused more than phobic; pleading more than insulting; grasping more than attaching. There are, in life, especially in youth, far more insignificant things than ones sexual identity to instill fear and give some healthy pause: even if in confusion, even if in honest ignorance–and most importantly, even if it contravenes the dogma of the day.</p>
<p>I am not at all sure why the majority here do not see that.</p>
<p>OP-if you are indeed talking about yourself, you should talk to a counselor you can trust so you can sort out your identity crisis. There must be a campus service that can help you. Questioning yourself without resolution can only lead to depression and isolation.</p>
<p>It’s ok to be yourself, whoever you turn out to be!</p>
<p>I stand by my convictions - the original post, particularly the first paragraph, reeks of homophobia. The OP is “worried” his “friend” might be gay because [insert every homosexual stereotype in the book]. People who struggle with and hide their sexual identity have been taught that being gay is bad, and think something is wrong with them. Therefore, until the OP (or his friend, whatever) learns to accept that being gay or bi is perfectly fine, there will be an internal struggle of self-loathing and not accepting himself for who he his. In essence, curing his own homophobia will be a huge step forward. Capiche?</p>
<p>If you read other threads with comments from the OP it seems he is in a religion based box and needs to learn more than he has been taught thus far. Comments are valid regarding gender issues regardless of the person who is the subject of the discussion. OP- dare to question what you have been taught, there is a beautiful world out there for everyone, regardless of their childhood or personality traits et al.</p>
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