<p>Jeez, now that’s <em>two</em> subjects upon which I need to cut AV some slack. It’s…it’s…unnatural, I tell you.</p>
<p>This thread accomplishes nothing without hawt “bi pics” to go along with it.</p>
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<p>Are you saying being gay is unnatural?</p>
<p>hmmmm…is giftedness (being in the top 2% of the population) unnatural? Well, since the gay population is estimated to be closer to 10%, how is it unnatural while giftedness is natural?</p>
<p>What about being left-handed? being very short or very tall? All commonly occurring…are they natural?</p>
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<li><p>The OP’s initial inquiry is NOT filled with homophobia for questioning where his friend fits into “gender stereotypes.” It’s time to lighten up. The seriousness with which people take any discussion of even potential homosexuality is certainly dogmatic, and quite scary.</p></li>
<li><p>If someone presents a problem as being of a friend, for all intents and purposes it is for a friend. What good does it do to suppose otherwise? Obviously it serves no purpose other than to shut down the OP. Therefore, all speculations as to the supposed “real” identity of the OP are counterproductive.</p></li>
<li><p>If indeed the OP’s friend is gay, he has every right in this world to view his homosexuality within the framework of his religious tradition (if indeed a religious tradition is present in the friend’s case–not mentioned in the OP). No one here likes that, but that is the way it is. The judgment regarding that right is really abhorrent, but to be expected.</p></li>
<li><p>No one answered the OP’s most important question, which was whether the absence of a father, and indeed antipathy toward the father and perhaps excessive closeness to the mother can contribute to a homosexual orientation. The answer is yes, though the PC police will come out of the woodwork denying it is so.</p></li>
<li><p>I don’t see one single thing in the OP which points to his friend as being gay or bisexual. Actually the “anti-gender-stereotype” types on board here are the very ones jumping to that conclusion based on the OP! Ironic, isn’t it.</p></li>
<li><p>If the friend is depressed, the best advice would probably be to urge him to see a therapist who has no agenda one way or the other as to sexual orientation to discuss the possible causes for his depression.</p></li>
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<p>Bedhead, speaking from personal experience, I know plenty of self-identified bisexuals who either are about equally attracted to both sexes, who shift back and forth in preferences, or who are more attracted to opposite sex people. I think that if I had to say that we bisexuals had a common thread to our attractions, it was that sex of the other person was not the primary vector for attraction, so we don’t tend to measure it that way. That is, bisexuals are more likely to say they are attracted to other qualities – physical or not – before the sex of the person. As in, “I’m primary attracted to blonde geeky types”, as opposed to, “I’m attracted to geeky men” or “I’m attracted to petite blonde women”.</p>
<p>No, Leal, you missed it: it’s me giving Art a pass that’s unnatural. I know of him from another board where he is something of a legend. In that particular context, he is an adversary of sorts, but his reputation among many is one of being both fair and knowledgeable, to the point where many will cut him some slack. Running into him here is a bit like running into your next door neighbor thousands of miles from home.</p>
<p>HH, I think the weak/absent father shtick got trashed by research a while back. I know a fair amount of gay males who had very present macho fathers. Go figure.</p>
<p>I said “can contribute.” Unfortunately, TheDad, nothing has been “trashed,” or established 100% when it comes to sexual orientation. In combination with a predisposition, the lack of a close, positive male role model may be a factor for some men.</p>
<p>Anyone who says there is any literature which has proven definitively what causes sexual orientation is misguided at best, or lying at worst.</p>
<p>HH, are you straight? and if so how do know and when did you know?</p>
<p>How mean some of you are. The OP came to the Parent’s forum, I am sure expecting some responsible answers/comments and instead received a lot of sarcasm and flippant remarks about something he/she felt was a serious concern. What a shame.</p>
<p>To hereshoping: I’m sure that TheDad is aware that no theory is 100% correct. However, you misinterpreted his post because he was referring to a study rejecting the theory that “the absent father” is the cause of homosexuality, not one where it is simply a factor triggering a predisposition.</p>
<p>“Homosexuality was once thought to be the result of troubled family dynamics or faulty psychological development. Those assumptions are now understood to have been based on misinformation and prejudice…No specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse.” --American Psychiatric Association</p>
<p><a href=“http://healthyminds.org/glbissues.cfm[/url]”>http://healthyminds.org/glbissues.cfm</a></p>
<p>You are right, however, that no definitive cause has been found, though most scientists believe it is caused by a multitude of genes predisposing one to homosexuality, with environmental factors influencing the likelihood of the child to be homosexual before he or she is even aware of his/her sexual preferences. In other words, scientists know that homosexuality is not a voluntary choice, but they don’t know exactly which genes working together predispose one to become homosexual, and which environmental factors activate certain genetic processes to influence one’s sexual preferences.</p>
<p>AFPrep, if indeed you are bisexual, know that it’s possible to be religious and not straight at the same time. I’m not religious, but I have a bisexual friend who is. I’m convinced my ex is bisexual as well (like you, he’s not exactly sure, so you’re not alone in that regard), and if he hasn’t changed drastically since I last saw him, I’d classify him as fairly religious. However, might I add that I used to be extremely religious, extremely socially conservative? I was heavily indoctrinated, and while I’m not suggesting you are, there’s that possibility. If you find yourself in that situation, have the courage to challenge your beliefs, because subjecting them to rigorous scrutiny is the best way, in my humble opinion, to find out if you truly believe in them or not. I came into terms with my own thoughts on religion in the latter part of high school, making them known to my parents only after high school. Feel free to send me a PM.</p>
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<p>Regarding number 6, isn’t number 4 exactly such an agenda item? Do you have and studies to back up what you are suggesting? Or is it just coming from your gut?</p>
<p>It was the OP’s question which pointed to the possibility that the friend might be gay – and that’s where the sarcastic responses came from. Because, if they were like me, none who posted a sarcastic response has any agenda other than hoping that the person in question, if he is gay, is accepted for who he is without rancor or prejudice. What’s wrong with that?</p>
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To Hereshoping, that is an agenda.</p>
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<p>An agenda, meaning literally in Latin, a “to be done.” In other words, simply hoping this person is accepted as is is an agenda whereas “converting” him to a notion that something is wrong with him and trying to get him “help” on that basis with it is not an agenda.</p>
<p>LOL :|</p>
<p>Except that it’s not funny for a gay person.</p>
<p>You have a lot to learn, kids.</p>
<p>I fail to see anything in the OP which would point to your thinking the friend is gay or bi–other than your own stereotypical prejudices.</p>
<p>Above poster (hereshoping)- YOU also have a lot to learn. Along with others’ critiques, “framework of his religious tradition”- just because a religion claims something is true doesn’t mean it’s correct and should be accepted. It would be better to abandon the religion that brainwashes people with false ideas than to keep it. The source of misinformation being religious does not exempt it from examination. True beliefs of any religion can withstand questioning; their concept of homosexuality is not one of them.</p>
<p>Fortunately, I don’t think you are necessarily going to get to have the last word on what constitutes “false ideas,” wis75.</p>
<p>And it won’t come from your idea/definition of god… (grin symbol).</p>
<p>If we believe that the lion will lie down with the lamb, bisexuality doesn’t seem so much of a stretch. ;)</p>
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<p>:) </p>
<p>ten char</p>