<p>My folks are in their 80s and still seem pretty happy and are enjoying their lives as far as we can tell. Yes, they have had some family and friends die, but they still have many friends, all their kids, in-laws, grandkids and now a great-grandS!</p>
<p>Having more resources than you need, having happy loved ones around you, having things you care about in your life, having others who care about you, all of these are what keeps us happy in our life!</p>
<p>Great thread…just about all of my ‘happiness buttons’ have already been mentioned. I stumbled on this book several years ago and found it readable and fascinating. It gave me pause…here is the TED talk version</p>
<p>[Dan</a> Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness | Video on TED.com](<a href=“http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html]Dan”>http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html)</p>
<p>Feeling very blue. Thanks for this thread.</p>
<p>Hugs to you SportsMama…</p>
<p>Thanks, abasket. My pull-yourself-up-by-your bootstraps mentality is just not working right now. Glad to have this thread.</p>
<p>Let me invite you all to the first virtual ice cream social held on the happiness thread. Ice cream does make me happy, as a few others mentioned. Since it’s virtual, we don’t have to worry about calories. </p>
<p>I don’t think happiness is a constant, but I’ve noticed that my periods of happiness, or contentment, are fewer and fewer as I’ve aged. I think in my case, there may be a genetic component to it. I know my mother isn’t happy; she misses my father and while she has more resources than she needs, she’s terrified of not having money or getting in trouble with the IRS (for absolutely no valid reason). It’s a perpetual discussion that just wears me down. I live in a relatively small community (not necessarily in size, but in social circle) and I think that has served to keep me in a rut. I’m economically limited, I’m not challenging myself. I’m afraid to take risks or live! I think that’s what keeps me from being happy. </p>
<p>So…plan my trip to Europe; think about moving; ask myself, would I be better off unmarried? Lots of big life questions to think about. It must be my mid-life crisis. ;)</p>
<p>Virtual hugs to SportsMama and Sabaray. Calorie free ice cream social, yippee! That makes me smile. Count me in for the biggest hot fudge sundae imagineable!</p>
<p>I went to see Spank the 50 shades of grey parody, THAT made me laugh!!!</p>
<p>I’ve really enjoyed lurking on this thread–thank you all for your contributions. While not everything in my life is perfect right now, I currently have two 3 month old kittens sitting on my lap. They are purring, and I am content.</p>
<p>Great thread! Thanks to everyone posting such wise and wonderful comments.</p>
<p>To me happiness is absence of misery, it doesn’t necessarily have to be ecstatic. We get all caught up in need for euphoria and don’t realize the gratefulness in absence of misery. Many people don’t even have this middle ground that I’m talking about.</p>
<p>Ive had moments when I am content, but unless I am in the front row of a Pearl Jam concert holding a baby ( with appropriate ear protection), I am rarely estactically happy.</p>
<p>However, I am also a survivor and the main reason I think is because I know that I always have a choice, in my life.
[“It</a> is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness.”](<a href=“There's More to Life Than Being Happy - The Atlantic”>There's More to Life Than Being Happy - The Atlantic)</p>
<p>Maybe I should have titled the thread what makes you happy. I find the things that are supposed to make me happy dont. I am afraid i am missing out on things, things that other people like to do, but i have no desire to do. I started thinking, wow everyone has NYE plans, I could care less. I am not particularly social. I dont care about many of the things others care about. I also took a good look at the advice people gave, i was simply not doing the things I wanted to, as I was allowing life to make me compromise, something i did before i got cancer again and promised myself i would not do. I have been more centered lately. thanks.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t call myself happy at this moment.I lost my husband three months ago ,suddenly due to a bicycling accident and yes, he was wearing a helmet. And there have been lots of rough patches to get through since…Hurricane sandy ( I live on Long Island) his birthday (would have been 60) our sons birthday…24th…Thanksgiving, his favorite holiday,Christmas and New Years and this past thursday what would have been our 37th anniversary. And a big house ,empty, to decide what to do with. A son who put his plans on hold to stay with me is returning to grad school next week. But I decided on my anniversary to take a new approach…to be grateful for the 37 years together, for him having come into my life at all, for knowing what a good marriage can be like, for my awesome children. So I am grateful, and consider myself lucky…just not so happy. wish me luck on my new path…</p>
<p>Oh, cathymee, I’m sending big hugs your way. You’ve certainly been dealing with a lot and it sounds like you are being very strong. You’ve got a wonderful attitude. {{{hugs}}}</p>
<p>cathymee - wow - this certainly puts things in perspective for anyone griping about the mundane. I wish you loads of luck…your attitude is amazing, and it is obvious that you and your husband raised a wonderful family. All the best for you going forward.</p>
<p>Cathymee, may time be on your side to find happiness again daily - I think you will. Hugs!</p>
<p>Emerald - the Atlantic you linked to here is wonderful. I have read Victor Frankl. I agree that being happy is not the objective, or shouldn’t be. Finding meaning and purpose is what matters.</p>
<p>Oh, Cathymee–I remember you from way back here on CC. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I wish you all possible comfort and healing.</p>
<p>Cathymee, I’m sorry for your loss and I thank you for sharing your story and perspective on gratitude. I wish you healing and a return of happiness.</p>