I’ve posted before about my dog, an 11 1/2-year-old Australian shepherd, who has a tumor in her mouth. We are now two months past detection of the growth and one month-plus past diagnosis. I chose not to obtain treatment, except for pain.
She is now on carprofen (essentially doggy ibuprofen) twice per day; the dose appears to be the standard amount recommended for dogs with arthritis. Her appetite and activity level are still good but I think I’m noticing subtle behavioral changes: she seems a little restless at night. I want to stay on top of her pain and discomfort but I don’t want to drag her to the vet every time I think I notice a change.
If you have had a dog that has died, and you feel comfortable sharing your recollections, can you tell me how your dog signified it was in pain and how you handled end-of-life palliative care? Were you able to get effective pain relief in the time before the dog stopped doing the things that gave it pleasure (eating, drinking, walking, playing, etc.)?
My dog (16 when we put her to sleep) slowed way down the last year of her life - starting with no longer being able to jump on the bed with a running start and she was much more restless. We were told to give her baby asperin which seemed to help initially. Then one day she started falling down and having trouble getting up. We did not even try to find a cause given her already advanced age and just treated her with tramodal. But after a few days we could just tell she was still in terrible pain and having as much trouble getting up, and walking. We just knew it was time as she was suffering. You could just tell by looking in her eyes it was time.
Our 14 year DM (dear mutt?) had an organ tumor removed. They thought they ‘got it all’ , and she quickly rebounded, but 6 months later, quit eating. It started slowly, but escalated to no food at all, not even her favorite treats. With the vet, we tried everything (short of IV). They assumed the cancer had returned, and we decided to avoid any additional aggressive treatment. Other than occasional restlessness at night, she never ‘complained’ during that time, so we were not even sure she was in pain. We continued to bring her for short walks to her favorite park, and she would still get excited, albeit weak. I asked a vet friend in another city, how to determine the “right time”. She said better to consider it on our terms rather than wait for an after-hour emergency, since most emergency vet centers would be obligated to first try and remedy the problem. Then one day, when we brought DM to her park, and placed her on the ground, she just froze and looked frightened. That was our signal. Of course it was a weekend, and our regular vet was not available, but we decided we didn’t want to wait. I kept justifying our decision by thinking I would rather choose to be an executioner than have DM suffer. Our experience with saying goodbye was not a good one, as others have sometimes shared, and it pains me even today. If at all possible, when the time comes to say goodbye, I advise that you have your vet (or a service) come to your home, where your dog is most comfortable.
I think it depends on the people whether to be with pet at the end. I have never been able to do it. We bring our animals to the our vet and say our goodbyes in the waiting room. My vet always takes a paw print and sends it in a condolence letter. I have framed 2 sets of paw prints in the last five years.
We also don’t wait long at all to get a new dog. It really helps us get over the loss of cherished pet. This is also a very personal decision and everyone’s mile may vary.
We just went through this two weeks ago, and it caps off what has been the worst year of my life. We were on a trip to France with our kids, trip of a lifetime, and I got a call from our vet telling me that our older cavalier was in crisis and needed to be hospitalized. Our caregiver had told us that she was not eating much (completely out of character), but had thought it was just a virus and it would pass. She was in kidney failure, and after three nights at an emergency hospital, they still couldn’t help her, so we took her home.
We thought we would just keep force feeding her through a syringe and giving her subcutaneous fluids every day to keep her alive. But she couldn’t move, was in too much pain to even lie in her favorite spot on the couch. She didn’t really show any pain when she was lying on the floor, though. She didn’t even want a lick of her favorite foods…sausage, cheese, not even caramel con leche Haagen Daz ice cream. We kept pretending that maybe she would magically get better. And then one night she started yelping, first noise she’d made since she got home. We realized that we were making her suffer just because we couldn’t bear to lose her, all for the occasional tail wag. We waited too long, it was obvious to everyone except for us.
If our dog was still walking at all, and eating food on her own, enjoying anything, we would have kept her going. We would have brought her to the park in a baby stroller if necessary, but just moving her was painful.
As far as getting another dog, I know that would help us recover, but I just can’t see going through this again, it’s too painful. We still have another one who is very lonely, but I don’t think we can do it.
The actual process of putting her to sleep was not as bad as I thought. The vet was very kind, we were able to leave her in her favorite dog carrier, and the first injection they give them is something that makes them feel good. I couldn’t stand the thought of looking at her afterwards, so my husband brought another car to take her home. He buried her in the back yard in a casket, wrapped in her favorite fuzzy jacket with her toy squirrels tucked around her. I guess now we can’t ever move.
I’m so sorry for your situation. We have lost some dear dogs over he years and it is tough. Caring for an old dog is like caring for an old person—medications to keep them comfortable, incontinence and even confusion from time to time, handling them more gently and with more patience than maybe you did years before, extra tasty food to encourage eating, and finding things they can still enjoy while they are here.
I think the time will come a time when you know your friend is no longer enjoying life—the tail stops wagging, the far way look in the eyes, sometimes they try to wander off to be by themselves when it is something they’ve never done before. You know your dog and when you no longer get that “ happy face” from your dog you will know it is time. If you can do it, stay with your pet at the end. You give comfort. With one of our dogs we were fortunate to have the vet come to the house. Our dear girl loved being outside and when the time came, she layed in the warm sun she loved with her head on my lap while the vet administered the meds. She was at peace. Looking back, we maybe should have done it sooner because she always quite ill. I think the saying “better an hour too early than a minute too late” is fitting. It’s never a good time to do it, but better to do it before they are actively dying and you are in a panic on a holiday weekend. Talk to your vet ahead of time and make a plan so you have it when you need it.
Also keep in mind you may need to change pain medicines at some point to give more comfort. We had good luck with Tramadol and glucosamine with chondroitin for arthritis and then prednisone as a last resort. But that would be a discussion to have with your vet if needed.
We just went thru this with our sweet kitty who was diagnose with intestinal lymphoma.
One thing the vet said to us when Kashi was first diagnosed really resonated with us.
He said “it’s kinder to release your pet too soon than too late”, and that really helped us make the final decision.
It’s so very hard because we love them so much.
Our vet came to the house to put Kashi down which was a great comfort, perhaps you could ask your vet?
If you have had a dog that has died, and you feel comfortable sharing your recollections, can you tell me how your dog signified it was in pain and how you handled end-of-life palliative care?
Our dog had a cancerous tumor which they removed but couldn’t get it all the edges out. She seemed fine before and for awhile after. We had the option of putting her on doggie chemo but even the best case scenario wasn’t very good. It would also necessitate weekly visits to the vet and she always got super stressed out going. I think it would have been torture for her.
In hindsight, we waited too long in the end and I regret any pain we likely put our dog through. It’s tough because of course they can’t tell you what they are feeling. We let our own hopes that she’d turn a corner delay doing the right thing and guilt about putting her to sleep as well as wishful thinking on the part of the vet cause us to delay. Early signs - lethargy, then she’d stand with her head against the wall which we read was not a good sign. She took a pretty steep decline in the last week or so. Just lying there, loss of appetite. We tried different prescriptions from the vet but nothing worked. The last few days she was having trouble drinking. She’d try but nothing would stay down and she had thick, excess saliva. We knew it was time, in fact probably a few days too late.
We did chose to be there when they euthanized her. She always hated going to the vet so we couldn’t in good conscience just drop her off when she needed us the most. We held her and talked to her as she took her last breaths. It sure did suck, though. I like the idea of having a vet come to one’s house but haven’t seen that offered in our area.
Phew. It’s still tough typing this and its been years. Funny that you asked this question because we were just talking an hour ago about how we miss her. She was sick at this time of year and died right before Thanksgiving so I think the weather and the leaves and all we’re experiencing right now are bringing back memories.
So, my advice is not to dilly dally and do it before it is a must. I think it is the kinder thing to do for one’s dog and I regret that we dragged it out.
We knew it was the time when our dog’s IVDD reoccurred. It happened on a Halloween morning… 5 years ago. He was almost 13, and there was no way - absolutely no way - the second surgery would not do anything but to bring pain. Even though he was eating and trying to wag his tail and did not look like he was in pain, he could not move, as his entire back was paralyzed. Doggies in doggie wheelchairs only look cute - most end up requiring catheterization to empty their bladders and eventually develop horrible uti. So we took him on that last trip to the vet… Charlie was cremated.
Our beagle started having issues a year ago at age 15 1/2 and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. We knew we would not have her for long. She did pretty well on medication but kept losing weight, slowing down, etc. She was no longer able to run up the stairs.
One night last April she kept making a wheezing sound like she was struggling to breathe. I stayed up all night with her and she was not able to get comfortable. I decided then to let her go as I could not let her suffer like that and called the vet first thing the next morning. I still miss her but feel as if it was her time to go.
We had two Maltese dogs and lost them both when they were 10 years old. The first one had an enlarged heart valve and we knew about that about a year before he died. He was on some meds but we knew it was a matter of time. He would start coughing and H would pick him up so he could breathe easier. What pushed him over the edge was going to the groomer one day. I think he just got dehydrated and threw a blood clot and collapsed. The groomer did doggie CPR and brought him back. Our evil vet wouldn’t see him until the next day and when I brought him it, suggested we leave him overnight. That would have been torture so I said no. Can you imagine him there, alone and in the dark, just so he could get some IV fluids? There really wasn’t much they could do. He couldn’t walk or hold down food but we were hopeful that he might recover at least a bit. Then he started having seizures. We brought him to a different nighttime vet and had him put to sleep. I think he would have died in the next hour or so anyway. I was holding him, D1 had come back from school, D3 was with us, and D2 was on skype or something. It was very peaceful.
Doggie #2 died last month. We didn’t know he was having any health problems until a Friday night when I took him for a walk and he stopped and didn’t want to go any further. I carried him home. The next day, he seemed a bit better and ate a good amount of chicken that H was de-boning so I didn’t call the vet. We went for a short walk and he didn’t have much energy but he made it. The next morning was worse. I called the vet (a new one) and made an appointment for 3 PM (they have weekend hours). I called him into the kitchen for a treat, he took a really long time to come in, and just looked very sad and wouldn’t even sniff it. He died an hour or so later, a few hours before the vet appointment. We were so shocked that I asked for an autopsy. It turns out that he had hemangiosarcoma and it was throughout his spleen and lungs. If he had lived longer, he would have started coughing blood. He also had some of those tumors near his heart and one of them had ruptured his aorta.
In the months before, he had seemed to be getting older and preferred if I carried him downstairs. It was probably because he was sick and we had no idea (would have needed to get a scan to detect it). A month before he died, we took him to Colorado and went hiking at 10,000+ altitude and he was fine! Really excited and full of energy! So glad we didn’t know. Doggie chemo and spleenectomy vs. blissful ignorance and hiking one last time? Easy choice for me. I do wish I had some liquid doggie painkillers I could have squirted in his mouth for his last 2 days and I wish very much we had been holding him and with him when he died. Instead, I was in the shower and he was in his doggie bed. It wasn’t a horrible end for him but I feel like we were all robbed of having a few more years together.
Our lab was 13, and since they don’t have much of a pain threshold, I can’t speak to that — but she became incontinent and then slept a lot and didn’t want to walk, ahd trouble getting up – typical elder dog stuff. But within a month she was moreso. The vet recommended meds that didn’t help and I wish we had not tried. Soon she wouldn’t eat and when her favorite kids came to sell for a fundraiser and she wouldn’t get up to see them, I knew. Kids said goodbye that night, next day She and I sat on the lawn, I carried her to the car and took her in. She was very calm and just sighed. The vet did it himself and I was okay, but crying by the time I got to my car and turned to see the vet tech coming over with a box of tissues and a hug.
Anyway. Sooner, rather than later. More pain meds is not what your friend needs, and deep down you know that.
Right now, she is eating enthusiastically, walking enthusiastically, barking, playing, doing 360s, all her normal things. So I don’t think euthanizing her immediately is necessary. But I will be doing so at some point.
Our Bernese Mountain Dog was almost eight years old when we lost her. We had taken her in for something else – UTI? – when the vet found tumors, but he saw they hadn’t grown much from a previous scan they had on file. He left whether to operate completely up to us. He did say if it were his dog, he wouldn’t operate, and that if I was asking his advice it would be “Take her home. Enjoy her. Let her be a dog.” That was in early December. We ran into the same thing @greenwitch did. She loved our walks in the snow and was as big a goof as ever. In hindsight there were subtle things, though: Sometimes I needed to add new and different toppers to pique her appetite, and she also started heading back to the house rather than staying outside until we brought her in. Overall we couldn’t really tell how close to the end she was, but I’m happy in hindsight that she was able to have fun and didn’t spend part of her last few months convalescing from a surgery.
Apparently this was a case of “they’re fine until they’re dead,” and the vet did prepare us for that. He said it could be next week or it could be years and there wasn’t really any way to predict it. We talked it over with our sons and were all ready to enjoy her and help her enjoy her life while she could. It’s great we had the chance to lay that groundwork, because while we were on the other side of the country the following March, my neighbor called to say she collapsed and couldn’t get up. Neighbor said something about hoping it was something she’d recover from, but I remember thinking, “No, this is it.”
I cleared her to take puppy to emergency clinic, and then told DS2 and DS1 saying I’d give a go for euthanasia unless things looked very hopeful. Emergency vet said things were in crisis but they could try to operate after stabilizing her but weren’t sure if she’d make it through. I remember being in a very cold “what does our dog” need state and told the vet that it sounded like the kindest thing would be to euthanize her. Cue almost audible sigh of relief and vet saying “I agree.” The kids are crushed, our neighbor is sobbing on the phone to me, husband is in the middle of a long distance screaming-senior-leaders crisis at work, and I’m giving the vet’s tech my credit card number. Neighbor stayed until the very end. There were kind people taking care of her, and the last thing our girl felt was relief, but I still wish I’d been there with her.
I also remember being very careful to use the word “euthanasia,” in part because most of this was happening over the phone and it seemed that precision mattered. I figured while I couldn’t be there with her, I could be there FOR her.
It sounds like your dog is a long way off, @rosered55, playing, eating, good times. You could have years left with her. Or not, sometimes they go pretty fast. We were shocked, because even though our dog was almost 14 (old for a cavalier), she was like a puppy. Barking at me all the time because she was badgering me for food, ripping anything that smelled like food apart in the house, chasing squirrels.
I felt like the emergency hospital was stringing us along for awhile, giving us hope. $4200 bill after three nights, and they just wanted to keep going at it. Expensive lab tests for unlikely issues, trying different IV antibiotics, talking about dialysis. And her kidney values weren’t getting better, she was getting worse than when she was brought in. I called my vet, who went to the hospital and visited her, and talked to the doctors. She called me and told me to take our dog home, that there was no purpose in leaving her there. But I feel like the vet hospital would have been happy to have her there for a month getting IV fluids and keeping her alive…at $1200 per night.
Someone from the vet hospital called (to get payment), and I said that she couldn’t stand at all, her legs were just limp. She told me to bring her in immediately, as it could be a disc rupture and that she could be paralyzed if I didn’t. To which I asked her if it would be a wise decision for elderly dog in full kidney failure to get a major surgery? She got off the phone quickly. My vet told me no, it wasn’t a disc rupture, she was just too weak to stand. Had we brought her back in to the emergency hospital, it would have been thousands more, once again, with no resolution.