@sly123 - you made the right decision. When the brain goes, it does not matter how healthy the body is. Hugs.
aly123, our neighbors had a sweet pup they’d brought home as a rescue who developed seizures at a young age. They did EVERYTHING humanly possible to make the dog’s life easier – neurologist, training, meds, TLC – and the seizures and anxiety only got worse. We both had the same vet (they recommended her to us), so I have no doubt as to the care he received. By the time he was two, he got to the point where he was seizing almost constantly, incontinent and increasingly aggressive. They made the decision to end his suffering. It was no life for a dog who was smart and charming to suffer so much.
I am so sorry for your loss, but know you did your best by your dog. You didn’t fail. You did everything medically that anyone would do for a loved one, and sometimes that’s not enough to make them well.
We have been a multiple dog family pretty much since DH and I got our first apartment together. We have had to euthanize many beloved pets over the years, and it’s never easy. Recognizing when its time to say when, is not only possible, but clearer, if you insist to yourself that you are putting the animal’s needs first.
When the vet explains that several hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a surgery is not likely to change the outcome, or it may only prolong the inevitable for a few weeks or maybe months, think about whose needs are you dealing with.
Once of our first pets required surgery at age 8 or 9 to remove an orange-sized cancerous tumor on her neck. She recovered, and two years later the tumor came back. Since they had removed some of the skin in that area, they told us they couldn’t operate again there, but there was a specialist in the neighboring state who could. But suddenly stopped growing after it was the size of a walnut. The vet had told us about a special harness for her instead of her collar that rubbed on the area, and when we changed to the harness, the tumor stopped growing. She lived a happy, active, well loved life for almost seven more years until eventually, and seemingly without warning she simply stopped eating and drinking, got the telltale lack of enjoyment in any activity. But she was close to 16 at that point, and as a large breed that was pretty ancient.
Only one of ours required painkillers toward the end - and they made a huge difference for her, especially in her enjoyment of our long walks. We crushed a pill twice a day for almost a year, and folded it into a slice of American cheese - one of her favorites. This was an easy price to pay because she was still herself.
We have a great relationship with our vet - the entire practice understands the relationship between a family and their pets, and they will tell families facing this difficult time what the implications are for the families’ choices. They have a 24 hour care and they do plenty of surgeries onsite, but we’ve never gotten an impression they are looking at an animal as another potentially lucrative surgery. Most importantly, they are reassuring and helpful, and I think they have trained their younger staff to focus their comments on “its clear that this is a well - loved member of the family” and “She’s been lucky to have been with a family like yours”, or “She’s obviously very been well-taken care of”. This support is important to help you know you’re making the right decision when that time comes.
Perhaps 20 years ago, one morning on a beach walk we met an older couple who had German Shepherd in a doggie wheel chair for its hind legs. They told us the dog was17, and had degenerative arthritis. While it was clear they loved that animal, after we left, DH and I talked about how it seemed to us that was almost cruel to the dog, they were keeping it alive for their needs, not considering the dog’s needs. I remember telling DH that we didn’t know all the facts and we shouldn’t judge, but I just kept feeling sorry for that poor poor animal. Twenty years later and I still feel sad about it.
We found that having multiple pets is better for all of us - we don’t suffer the immediate “quiet” in the house when a single pet is gone. Having a younger pet around keeps the older one company, and more active when we can’t be there at home with them. Plus, it encourages us to get another one sooner after we lose one.
Wanted to add, this is a thread where I want to “like” the fact that so many people shared their stories/posts, but due to the inherent sadness of the situation I am not sure I can say I like it.
OP here. I just got back from a visit to the vet. Dr. A told me that the tumor is getting bigger but agreed with me that the dog (W) isn’t showing much, if any, outward distress. Dr. A added a prescription for gabapentin, chatted with me about the general outlook, and expressed support for the approach I’m taking with W. I appreciated the reinforcement and support but felt more sad than I expected despite not hearing anything new. Well, I guess the confirmation that the tumor is getting bigger was news.
Thanks again to everyone who has posted on this thread.
" I appreciated the reinforcement and support but felt more sad than I expected despite not hearing anything new. Well, I guess the confirmation that the tumor is getting bigger was news."
I remember feeling the same way. I was sad because it made me face the reality of what was coming down the pike. It removed glimmers of hope that things were going to get better.
Hugs. I think you are preparing yourself well to make the right decision at the right time at some point down the road.
In there with my 14 year old lab now. She’s arthritic, has been on Novox for a year. Just had a vet visit and talked about how to tell if she’s in pain and when it would be time to put her down if she is…she is incontinent with poop though pees outside. Our steps in and out of the house are becoming harder for her to deal with and she sometimes falls/needs help. She can’t walk far and needs me to help her up into the car.
D is away at college until Thanksgiving week, will be here, then we all go out of town. Struggling a bit with this now, watching her to see if she seems OK…
Like many others I think I waited too long for my senior chow. He stopped getting up to meet us when we came home, not just deaf but startled/discombolulated. He’d get just his front legs out the door before he peed. And his legs were going. It took a year of mourning before I got my new dog. That actually came on the day of Sandy Hook, I was watching tv and I decided I was done waiting and ready to give love to a new family member.
I volunteer at a no kill shelter and recommend it as both a great way to have “lots” of dogs and to screen for a future dog for yourself. There are many dogs I have fallen for and had around for weeks or months before they got adopted and who hold a place in my heart.
When/if there’s a dramatic weight loss and no appetite even for treats, sudden incontinence, and frequent vomiting, then it’s likely time to discuss euthanasia with vet. Dogs will suffer in silence, in quiet pain, and won’t signal that it’s horrible. Not same signs/sounds as in humans, so sometimes we wait too long.
Our dog had an excellent bill of health, via exam and blood work at 15 1/2 years, and died a month later. Very sudden significant decline in one week, multiple vet visits, big weight loss, listless, no appetite, black diarrhea, vomiting immediately after administering drinking water, etc. meds no help. Rehydrated by IV twice, realizing it was cruel to prolong dog’s life further, we all attended euthanasia. Heart breaking, but don’t think these symptoms can be “fixed”.
All of my dogs (three) have told me by not eating and acting odd. One dog insisted on being in the car and another wanted to sleep outside (he was an inside dog). Our first dog had a tumor on the back of his tongue and couldn’t swallow easily, dog two had kidney failure and I think the car was like a security blanket. Dog three had a esophagus collapse and couldn’t keep food down. Dogs enjoy food too much, so that is a sign to me.
I also want another dog soon after losing one. I have my own theory that my wonderful dogs leave me because they know another dog needs a home. I hope I can always have a dog.
I have the opposite reaction, at least so far. Not only do I not want another dog so I don’t have to go through this again, I feel like I don’t want any more friends or maybe even any grandchildren. The least attachments the better, so when they die or get sick I won’t be devastated. Maybe that’s just a natural reaction that will subside.
Well, I changed my picture to just one dog. It was painful seeing her every time I posted. :o3
This is so sweet. Thank you @Onward for posting this.
@busdriver11 - while I can appreciate your reaction, part of me wonders why some wonderful, dog-loving people like yourself who have given a pet a loving home will have a completely opposite reaction to a similar event. I understand the pain more than I can express - and while it has been over a year since we lost our last family member, I still miss her terribly. One of my favorite pictures of my DD is one of her sleeping with the three canine family members, where D had moved her pillow off of her bed to make room for the Shepherd.
Two years ago, a friend of mine lost her beloved retriever just after her son graduated college and moved out of the house permanently - he had taken a job in Chicago. She was devastated about the additional emptiness in her empty nest, and swore she wouldn’t get another pet because the pain was too much. Last year, we were talking and she said very similar things, about how humans get so attached and how it hurts when they are gone. She said that maybe she’d feel differently if she had been raised in a home with multiple animals.
This past New Year’s Day, she decided she was too young not to have another dog, and she rescued a Christmas return puppy that hadn’t lasted a week in its first attempted adoption home. I often see them together on a morning walk in our neighborhood.
For the last 15 years we’ve had at most three dogs at one time and always at least two. So when we had to put big dog to sleep we still had our wee dog - but in less than 3 weeks we adopted another rescue. For us we love all our dogs as much as we loved those that passed on. The truth is that one will likely outlive every pet they have. But, they bring so much joy into our lives while they are with us I can’t imagine forgoing that because someday they will be gone and we will still be here.
My mom is 88 and about 5 years ago her dog died. She immediately contacted the breeder and got a slightly older dog that was already trained, etc. I am so glad she did because my dad go sick soon after and passed away 2 years ago. It’s been a godsend that she has her dog ( who she dotes on as if it were her child) and it’s comforting to me to know she doesn’t walk into an empty house when she comes home. It also keep her active as she has to walk the dog 3 times a day since she lives in a condo.
I’ve already told her we will take the dog if something happens to her.
For those with multiple dogs, how do the other dogs react when one of the dies?
In our cases, the dogs would wander around sniffing searching for their friends - picking up toys and finding no one to play with - and wanting to be close to humans a lot more. It’s been as much for the dogs as for us that we’ve brought home new companions. I hate to think of them alone in the house while we’re away at work searching for their friend.
They’ve always adjusted pretty quickly once they get a new playmate.
@emilybee - when my elderly mother’s dog died she swore she wouldn’t get another dog especially since she was worried about the dog outliving her. We found a great rescue dog, very calm, quiet, 6 year old girl. Rescue insisted there be transfer of ownership paperwork in case anything does happen to my mother - I actually think she appreciated that. There are several of us who would take the dog - but having something in writing eased my mother’s mind.
I’ll never forget two things. At the moment she got the injection, she turned and gave DH a direct, gentle look. He thought she meant, it’s time.
And as the vet handed me a box of tissues, she said. “Thank you.” Because it was time. She had offered options to extend life, but all of us knew there’d be no quality. It would have been about us, not our pup.
A less common cancer, sudden collapse, initially worth fighting. An exploration seemed to show simply a tumor, a biopsy showed worse, but isolated. After an operation, I’d take her to the front yard, she could be limited by pain, but still tug to walk a little further. Brave girl.
But soon, in addition to starting to resist pain meds, she resisted food and water.
She knew she was adored. @rosered55, your pup sounds ok, for now. Love her.
We waited to get another. Yes, I feel the same that our pup wanted us to love another. But it took time to be able. And be ready for the emotional risks. Now, a nutty rescue.