<p>^^^
Well, clearly it’s not going to come from a generation conditioned to raise children young and anticipate freedom later. It’s something for future generations more able to align with biological impulse and one generation that chooses from a young age to raise children twice and then the system is in place.</p>
<p>TrinSF - No offense, but I think you’re focusing on a specific class issue (judging by the way you describe your family). Unmotivated freeloading isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a collection of self-motivated individuals all contributing and not putting the burden on others to support them.</p>
<p>I have a question for the parents who have answered so far: Are you helping your child pay for college? Would that affect how much you allow them live at home after graduation?</p>
<p>is a kid allowed to comment? my doctor is so funny and he told my mom that his kid graduated from college 2 years ago and got married last year. he said he just stopped paying that kid an allowance since the kid did not have a job!</p>
<p>I don’t know. The economy is getting ugly. It would be pretty difficult to make it out there on one entry-level salary. I graduated during the last stagflation and was given a deadline of 6 months after I graduated from college to get a job and move out. It forced me with an accounting degree to take the only entry-level job I could - as a junior bookkeeper, that didn’t come close to supporting a single person in nyc. The snowball effect of this was that I felt pressured to marry my college boyfriend, who I ended up divorcing 2 years later. Not a very auspicious start.</p>
<p>Interesting, but I tend to disagree with those who consider option 2 unfeasible. Could it be because of a fundamental lack of confidence in their work ethic?</p>
<p>I fully plan (and have asked) to live at home for a few years after college while I save for a house. I fully intend to work and to contribute, but the money that I am saving in rent and expenses means that I’m getting out into the ‘real world’ faster than my classmates. </p>
<p>I have never believed in hard and fast rules for these types of things, but then, we have only one child, so we are not setting precedents for anyone else.</p>
<p>We never needed a curfew. When S was expected home depended on where he was going and what he was doing. He was reasonable, and I hope we were, too.</p>
<p>Similarly, we will respond if and when the issue of moving home comes up. I doubt it will, but if he wanted to come home for a while we would welcome him. I have no doubt that it would be for a good reason, and he would try to be a good citizen of the household. We respect him and he respects us.</p>
<p>I’m sure this varies with the student’s personality and outlook, the parents’ situation, and the family dynamics.</p>
<p>Carnut, lol! I actually know a married woman in her 40’s who gets an allowance from her parents. When she had her first kid almost 16 years ago, she wanted to stay home. Her husband told her that would be fine, but they would have to cut back on their spending. Her parents didn’t want their little girl to go without the things she was used to having, so they told her they’d give her $2000/month. They are still giving her money, with cost of living adjustments. I guess it’s nice that her parents have the money to give her … it just seems so odd to get an allowance in midlife!!</p>
<p>^^^Re the allowance from parents to help their D stay at home while raising children, I think that is a nice idea. They are also helping their grandchilden out with this arrangement. And it’s really like getting an inheritance early, while it will really help the younger family.</p>
<p>I know a woman whose parents made the same offer to her when her sons were born, more than forty years ago. They had it, her husband was a struggling young professor, she wanted to take care of her children herself. I do not know when the support ended…her husband went on to become the president of a university. She went back to some substitute teaching when her sons were gone from home. If I thought it would make a difference in whether my kids could have a family or not, I would want to make the same offer, if I could. FWIW…</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with it in theory. I would have loved to have had that kind of financial help! It just always struck me as odd that she told people she got an allowance from her parents. I am probably just jealous …</p>
<p>Any more odd than if she told them she got a monthly check from a trust fund they or grandparents had set up in her name? I don’t see the difference.</p>
<p>I’ve been a little nervous lately because of the whole paying for college thing and what’s going to happen after I graduate. My brother got a free undergrad ride (for the most part) from my parents at a really expensive school (46k + a year), however, it’s time for me to go and they’re all tapped out and I’m pretty much entirely on my own cost wise. Because of this I’ve opted for a much more affordable state school. I’m worried as to how hard its going to be when I graduate because I really don’t wanna come back home after I do, plus there aren’t many job opportunities in the area (especially for the majors I’m looking at). All I know is that it sounds like it’s going to be insanely hard to manage the debt I’ll have collected over 4/5 years of undergrad (god forbid grad school!) as well as support myself fresh out (which it looks like I’ll be doing).</p>
<p>maybe1123-you and many other young people are coming of age at a pretty tough time. I commend you for looking at the financial picture this early in the process. So many kids don’t even think about it until they have their diploma, and then it’s like, “oh, I guess I have to support myself now. What the h?” </p>
<p>So, you’re really ahead of the game.
You didn’t say what majors you are considering, but there aren’t too many majors that have no earing potential at all. I was a philosophy major and spent my career in early childhood education. My husband majored in history and wound up in finance. It might make sense to think about what kinds of careers you would like to pursue down the line, and then try to find work during the summers and perhaps some during the school year to get some experience in your chosen field, and see how it fits. After college, be willing to move to where the jobs are and be willing to live with roomates until you can afford a place of your own.
Most of all, do whatever you can to keep debt low. I would even consider taking time off to work and save money if that was necessary. Debt can really make it difficult to ever get ahead.<br>
A lot of us older folks had to do what you are doing when we started out. It’s hard, but very doable. You’ll do fine.</p>
<p>maybe1123: I admire your calm spirit and determination…my instinct is to be crabby as h*ll that your future and options will be burdened in a way your brother’s are not. However, you will be the stronger person for it, and at the end of your journey, you would not have had it any other way. Cheers to you and much good luck. Lorelei</p>
<p>I was planning on doing something like Aerospace engineering, however looking at the Department of Labour statistics they predict a reduced amount of jobs in the future for that field. I’m starting to think of going for a more general engineering like Mechanical so that work will be easier to find, or maybe even going with something medical as that’s supposed to be a booming field. Thanks for the encouragment ASAP, it’s time to fill out those financial forms now and I realize that I’m getting like nothing, yet at least, and started to sort of panic The only thing I’m worried about is having to move to like the other side of the country to find work in my chosen field and then being like completely away from any help at all.</p>
<p>They should make college government supported in terms of cost but you should have to work for it like you do now, maybe not just hand out the money to every tom dick and jane who want another 4 years for fun. Cut some defense spending or something…</p>
<p>And thanks lorelei2702 as well, I had posted before I saw your post Boy people on this forum sure are friendly I only stay calm because I’m one of those people who look at the big picture, I’m not going to mind having to work hard for my living like I see my parents do - my main goal is to be able to support myself and my future family and just try to make a difference through my work. I don’t care if I’m getting payed big CPA bucks, money doesn’t buy happiness (but it sure doesn’t hurt :P). </p>
<p>Plus I know that I’ll get buy somehow, whereas my brother might not (I tend to worry about other people).</p>
<p>Good luck maybe1123. You have a great attitude. I was pretty much in the same postition as you for undergraduate. I have always thought that it helped me as I took things more seriously than my brothers. (Or at least I balanced things better). After graduation I lived at home, rent free, while I worked full time and SLOWLY worked on my masters, paying as I went. This allowed me to begin to pay off my loans and not add any more debt. Although my parents weren’t able to help pay for college directly, they were happy to be able to help out by not asking me to pay them for rent. I think it worked out well for everyone.</p>
<p>We told the kids that if they plan to attend grad school, our contribution would be a free place to live. We live in a city with an excellent flagship that offers many top graduate programs.</p>
The only thing I’m worried about is having to move to like the other side of the country to find work in my chosen field and then being like completely away from any help at all.</p>