<p>What if your D, DD, S, or DS said," Mother, Father, I don’t need no college, I don’t need no college degree." “By golly, there is an opening at Burger King as a cashier for $7.00 an hour; that should pay for things.” “But I decided, I’m not going to college, sorry y’all!” </p>
<p>To many CCers, this would be a cardinal crime. But, what would y’all parents say or do in this situation? This is just hypothetical, nothing true to heart.
What would you parents do if you were in this situation?</p>
<p>I’m in that situation. Older S, 22, who is brilliant, dropped out of college after freshman year because he said that college was a waste of time and couldn’t teach him anything. My husband is a college prof, and I have been one. S was a fifth gen college student in my family, which has had a lot of educators.</p>
<p>I did not bother arguing with my S because that’s a waste of time. He is hard headed and has to learn things the hard way. However, despite pressure from my doting in-laws, H and I did not buy a car, have not offered him rent free accommodations, etc. Consequently, S chose to live out of state with his aunt, whom H and I told to charge S reasonable rent. She refused to charge rent because she said family shouldn’t do that. She learned her lesson when S became a total deadbeat – unemployed, hanging out all of the time, etc.</p>
<p>After she woke up and moved, S moved to another state, where he has a boring, fulltime clerical job and is renting an apartment with a friend. The only thing that H and I do is pay for his health insurance, which S refuses to do because he says he will never get sick. Since insurance could save his life, my h and I pay for it, but we tell him that insurance is is birthday and Christmas present from us. </p>
<p>If I had a kid like the one you describe, I would tell him he would be welcome to do what he wanted since after all, it’s his life, but if he lived at home, he’d have to pay $300 a month rent (what I charge younger S, who’s an Americorps worker during a gap year) and follow the house rules, which include doing his share of chores. He’d be welcome to move out. I’d give him the classifieds so he could see what his salary would get him.</p>
<p>my little sister has looked at four or five colleges and has a major in mind however she still seems to be a bit undecided if she actually wants to go. I think she just doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and would be happy working full time at her job till she figures it out. Who knows. I’m sure she’ll end up applying and going to college, but she’s been changing her mind every other day lately.</p>
<p>My DS who is now 16 has always disliked the academic part of school and struggles particularly in math. When he was in third grade, he asked me, “Mom, do you have to go to college?” I told him no, and he started to cry and said, “But you’re going to make me, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>Of course I want him to go to college, but I also want him to be happy. Some people are just not cut out for it. He now says he wants to go to college to become a wildlife manager. I just hope he makes it through the required math and science. Although he hates to read, he is strong in English and writing, and very good at drawing. A BA would probably be easier for him than a BS, but I will not discourage him in any way.</p>
<p>well if i were ever to have a kid they wouldn’t say “y’all” Haha</p>
<p>and no offense but i dont know many parents off or on CC that would be A-ok with their kid not going to college to pursue a job at McDonalds. Robert, why are you here if all you want to do is complain about this site and everyone on it. Go read the Bible and feel morally superior to us.</p>
<p>Getting back to the OP question, my son will be graduating with a BSBA in December, but he has spent the plenty of time griping about how useless he thinks college is. I used to take the bait and argue with him about the value of a degree. About 2 years ago, I changed my response. I surprised him by saying, “Okay, quit college, but only if you make an informed decision.” Waiting for him to scrape his chin off the floor, I told him that college certainly isn’t for everyone, and if he feels it’s not his thing, let’s research different directions he could go. We looked at trade schools (12-24 months’ training), which are respectable alternatives for young people not cut out for a 4-year degree. We more importantly took a hard look at a couple of his friends who “just got a job” after high school, working at the local Auto Zone and Home Depot. We investigated what their likely best-case scenario would be (promotion to store management someday), what the pay would be, lifestyle/hours, etc. To make a long investigation short, my son was unhappy with the outcomes of the alternative routes for various reasons. I then told him that a college degree might end up being no more than a tool that will keep more employment options open in the course of his life. It’s a shame in a way, because college can/should be much more than that, but that fact alone made it worth his while to perservere with his undergrad studies. He recently landed a wonderful internship at a bank headquarters, with promise of employment after graduation. He loves the managers who have taken him under their wing, and thoroughly enjoys the work. He now grudgingly admits that the forthcoming degree opened that door, and it’s worth it (he STILL doesn’t like classes, though). I’ll be relieved when he graduates, only so I won’t have to hear his whining about “useless” classes, but for him it was the right path. If he had chosen another path, I would have totally supported him.</p>
<p>Luckily, this didn’t happen to us so I can’t say how I would feel if my children opted for no college initially. I do know I wouldn’t want to be paying $45K a year for an aimless child.</p>
<p>However, my H is an active-duty officer. Over the years he has had many fine soldiers who entered the military because they just were not ready for college. Some end up doing a full career as NCOs getting their BS/BA at night along the way through the SOC colleges and education centers. Others go Green to Gold (ROTC) or to the USMAPS and then apply to the Academy. Still others do their 4 years enlistment, choose not to re-enlist, but still have educational benefits through the Montgomery GI Bil and/or the VA.</p>
<p>Obviously the military is not the answer for everyone. But there are worthwhile alternatives to pursue. Maybe a year working at McDonalds will teach the child the value of an education as he can see exactly how far he can rise with only a hs diploma.</p>
<p>I had no plans to go to college. Since I wasn’t going to be in school, I had to get a full-time job, or I had to get out of the house. I started working on my 18th birthday.</p>
<p>Even the most ambitious CC parent would have been happy with the long-term results of this policy.</p>
<p>you havent done anything that’s made me unusually upset, but you’ve been rude in general.
specifically, you’ve said negative thing about liberals(which i am). you’ve preached Christianity and implied that agnostic aren’t moralistic. I made a thread about emo music and you basically said it’s trash and “only gothic people” like it. (by the way, i’m like the least gothic person out there). I made a thread about a tv show i like, you said it will rot your brain and anyone’s brain who watches it. So sorry if i dont go out of my way to be nice to Robert, but i dont particularly care. you’ll get over it.</p>
<p>You know, that’s fine. If you thought that I was rude, then I apologize. I really don’t want to engage in a debate with you for the next hour about who was rude, etc.</p>
<p>“but i dont particularly care. you’ll get over it.”</p>
<p>Well, that statement is just a bit hypocritical, true?</p>
<p>umm…no. it’s not. i dont care that you’re rude, but if you hadn’t been rude than i probably would have phrased my response in a nicer way. when people are rude to me then im not gonna go out of my way to be nice.</p>
<p>My story is very similar to NSM’s. Our 22-year-old son is self-supporting on two restaurant jobs. He added the second job as he has decided he would like to go back to school, but one job just meets his expenses, and he needs the second to sock away a little.</p>
<p>Our HS experience was so strife-filled that when he decided to quit college, moving home was just not an option. So he has been on his own for more than a year now, and I think it was his younger brother’s HS graduation that caused him to re-think his restaurant career. </p>
<p>NSM, what kind of insurance do you buy for him? Ours is only for FT students.
Thanks!</p>
<p>GDF, you obviously are too sensitive for a forum of discussion such as this. On all the occasions that I was “supposedly” rude, I was merely stating my opinion, whether in your “liberals unite” thread or your “Big Brother” thread. Quite honestly, you just can’t accept other peoples opinion. If someones opinion does correspond to yours, you get upset and hide behind the weak argument of “rudeness” I never once made a derogatory comment to you; so, as you so gracefully put it, get over it. You need to learn that a contradictory form of dogma to yours is by no means a form of rudeness. Realize for once that not everyone likes “Big Brother All Stars” or is a liberal. </p>
<pre><code> As you so gracefully said, get over it. As far as I am concerned, you are breaking up my thread. Have a great day, long live Hillary Clinton for 2008!
</code></pre>
<p>Back to the topic again, we have always assumed that our son (HS Jr) would go to college and so has he. He knows he was labeled ‘gifted’, and knows exactly what he wants to major in. Yet he is unmotivated academically, and unwilling to take responsibility for his own day-to-day affairs. I will not pay for his college unless he has shown me that he has the skills and attitude to be reasonably successful. </p>
<p>More and more I am seeing the military (presumably with college later) as a very viable option for him. He thrives on structure, and I suspect his potential could really come out in that environment. The thought of missing that ‘freshman year dorm experience’ that all his friends will be having is almost unthinkable, but I would much rather see him be happy and successful, than face the very real possibility of flunking out.</p>