<p>Northstarmom
Really!!!</p>
<p>Personally, I don’t see the military or a $7.00 an hour Micky D’s job as the only alternatives to college, but nor do I think college is, or should be, the path for every high school senior.</p>
<p>I would tell them that they should NOT be working at Burger King, as they are just aiding America’s love affair with wastefully expensive dining out.</p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>LOL @ weenie!!!</p>
<p>But seriously, college isn’t for everyone, sometimes forever, sometimes just not right away. And I don’t think it should have to be. There are many valid, interesting, productive avenues to a happy, fullfilling life. College is just one of them. </p>
<p>Same with grad/professional school. Some will stop - or at least temporarily suspend additional education once the undergraduate education is complete. Others will go on. Each person has to choose what is best. </p>
<p>Not that it matters now, but I have always wondered how Bill Gate’s parents must have felt - and how they reacted to him, and what they said - when he told them he was dropping out of Harvard.</p>
<p>Har, har, weenie, very funny. 
These comments are very interesting. Keep em’ coming, please!</p>
<p>I have a nephew who is now very successful. But HS was not his “thing” so to speak. After he graduated, he told my sister that he just needed some time to hang out and find himself. She told him that it was fine if he didn’t feel ready for college, but he’d have to get a job and pay rent. I think his idea was that he’d just hang around the pool all day! Anyway, he reluctantly agreed to attend the local community college, where he discovered he could be a very good student if he tried. After receiving his AA, he transferred to a four year school and is now well employed in the pharmaceutical industry. Through his job, he met the young lady he recently married and they’ve just moved into a lovely new home.</p>
<p>I think the important thing for parents is to make a young adult stand on their own two feet if they aren’t ready for college. There are various certificate or trade programs that are better for some, but just lying around sponging off the parents doesn’t seem like a good choice for anyone.</p>
<p>I’m just yankin’ your chain REL. Take no offense please.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>See you clearly misunderstand me. I don’t care that your opinion differs from mine, only that you choose to express so in a rude manner. And that said, when i posted on this thread I gave my opinion as well. I would want my kids to go to college and not throw their lives away for McDonalds.</p>
<p>Think of the free boigers, though, Weenie.</p>
<p>Every cloud has a silver lining. ;)</p>
<p>^HA HA HA HA HA!!! Allmusic, ha ha, that, ha ha, was HILARIOUS! I laughed for a solid minute, that just made my day! :)</p>
<p>"Northstarmom
Quote:
S was a fifth gen college student in my family </p>
<p>Really!!!"</p>
<p>Yes. My great grandfather was born a slave and went to Howard. I don’t know, however if he graduated from there. My dropout S, 22, basically grew up on a college campus. Amazing how some young people will bend over backward to rebel.</p>
<p>Some kids are just not college types - no matter what a parent may WANT - it is what the kiddo WANTS - ya’ll sure can bring the donkey to water - but ya’ll sure can’t make um drink.</p>
<p>If a kiddo is not going to do the college thing - then having plan B in place would be a very good idea - clearly in place too - and maybe even a plan C - just in case plan B is a wash.</p>
<p>Sometimes it may take a circumstance - or even maturity - for a kiddo to realize that they do WANT to further their education - some will never have that awakening.</p>
<p>I would have to say that I would support the choice - may not be real happy about it in all honesty - but I would be as supportive to the non-college goer - but in a different way - from the college goer - until or unless a certain line is drawn - and then plan D would very likely take place - but still to my chagrin.</p>
<p>Not a parent, but I think I would endorse it. My reaction? “Fine. If you aren’t ready for college, I’m not wasting my money. I also don’t think that there is any better way to realize the value of an education than by working at jobs that don’t require one.” </p>
<p>No rent-free living; no hand-outs; but keep the door open so that they can have support when they are ready for it. </p>
<p>Reality is that a lot of 18-year-olds are simply not ready for college or do not realize the value of an education. That isn’t a knock against them; it just takes some people longer to figure these things out. Part of the job of a parent is to guide their children through these things. </p>
<p>My guess is that, after a year of independent living on $7/hour, the kid would want the gravy train of college.</p>
<p>
Northstarmom, I grew up in a family where my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles all were college educated. My mom had dropped out of college to marry my dad, but that fit in with the “values” I was raised with as well: back in the 50s when I was born it was assumed that women wen to college to find husbands. </p>
<p>But back to the point: I was raised my whole life with the assumption that college was simply what came after high school. However, I chose to attend a public university, and when I got there for the first time in my life I met kids who had NOT been raised with that expectation. Many of the kids, including my roommate, had to fight with their parents to be allowed to attend college, with no financial support – they simply came from homes where it was expected that after high school graduation, the boys would get jobs and the girls would get married. </p>
<p>It was a revelation to me that there was an alternative to college – that it was possible NOT to go to college … and even though I was serious about academics and happy to be where I was, I felt a little bit sad and resentful that I had not really been given the chance to choose college as opposed to being channeled into it. So I can kind of see what went wrong with your son. It’s not that you did anything wrong, it’s just that some kids really have a need to find their own way, and striking out against parental expectations might be one way to do it.</p>
<p>In any case, I’ve tried to raise my own kids in a somewhat more open fashion. My son is dyslexic and had serious academic problems as a child – he overcame those at age 11, but honestly, before that time I didn’t know how my son was going to make it through middle school. So it almost became too much to think about college – I used to think that we would be lucky if he could go to community college. </p>
<p>My daughter is a dancer and although she definitely wants to pursue academics, I have seen other dancers she has grown up with go on to pursue professional careers without benefit of further formal education after high school. One girl, younger than her, has a contract with a major ballet company. A male friend from high school, a couple of years ago, has a contract with one of the top modern dance companies in the country. So at least in the field of dance, I see a compelling alternative. I certainly would have supported my daughter if she had chosen that route.</p>
<p>I’d also note that there are many opportunities beyond minimum wage jobs for kids that enter the work force after high school. Many kids who have worked already in high school have good work experience and are already in line for promotions by the time they graduate. My kids have had fairly low end part time work with hourly rates of $9-$12. When my son decided to take time off from school, he found a job that excited him and gave him room for advancement, and really gave him a sense of direction in his life. He gained an incredible amount of experience, and made about $25K his first full year on the job – obviously not getting wealthy, but well above minimum wage and enough for him to easily support himself. The job also gave him health insurance and a 401K – and there wasn’t any special skill my son needed other than to show up at the beginning and show some enthusiasm for what he was doing. He started at the bottom and got promoted quickly. </p>
<p>For what its worth, when my son decided to take time off from college after 2 years, I told him that I would pay for him to go to school, even part time, but he could no live at home after Sept. 1, when his school term started, unless he was either in school or working. </p>
<p>Also, my son (who is now back in college paying his own way) called me last night to ask my opinion on health insurance, since he no longer has it through his job. I had suggested he buy whatever was offered by his college, but he didn’t like the policy after reading its terms so he wanted my opinion on various Blue Cross individual plans. (Since he does have free access to the college health clinic for routine care, we agreed that an inexpensive high-deductible policy would be fine for his needs – there in an emergency, but for colds and flus he’ll use the clinic on campus).</p>
<p>I think that my son’s 3 years’ working may have been the best choice he ever made. I have defended his choice every step of the way against the comments of disapproving relatives. It has its downside: he will end up with a degree from a CSU as opposed to a degree from a more prestigious private LAC, but he is much more mature, capable, and motivated right now. With his work experience, he has no worries about employment after he graduates – he can get good jobs with or without the degree, though the degree will be valuable for career advancement. He knows who he is and what he wants now, and because of that will probably get more from the CSU education than he was getting from the LAC, despite the disparaties in levels of academic challenge.</p>
<p>I think we do kids a disservice by casting the choice in terms of the minimum wage job at Burger King, because many kids know full well that isn’t the true dichotomy. It’s like using scare tactics to try to stop them from experimenting with drugs: it backfires the day the kid realizes that he has not been told the truth. Any kid can look around and see what a plumber or electrician makes. It probably would be a lot more effective to spend time helping a kid think about his interests and options, and explore various career goals. Many young people probably would be happier pursuing an alternative path to gain skills for other sorts of work, such as pursuing a certificate program at a community college.</p>
<p>Thank you Calmom; that is so true. My nephew was never interested in academics, but went to college last year because it was ‘what you do’. He flunked out the first year. Now he has two jobs, one of which has a real future; he only started about six weeks ago, but has been doing <em>very</em> well. Don’t know the future, but if he does decide to go back to college for advancement in that job, I’m sure he’d have a much different outcome.</p>
<p>well, here’s some college dropouts-it ain’t for everyone:</p>
<p>Edward Albee
William Faulkner
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jack Kerouac
Edgar Allan Poe
John Steinbeck<br>
Woody Allen
Paul Allen
Michael Dell
Bill Gates
Steve Jobs
Steve Wozniak
Barry Diller
David Geffen
Ted Turner
James Dean
Tom Hanks
Dustin Hoffman
Bob Dylan<br>
John Lennon</p>
<p>Yes, but these cases are rare. And a lot of those people were not around in this era where in order to get a good job a college degree is basically a requirement. And musicians and other celebrities…they’re irrelevant.</p>
<p>GDF- my post was a bit tongue in cheek, but college is not for everyone nor necessary for everything</p>