I have some friends who have dozens and dozens of seemingly very close friends. On FB, they post endless pics of get togethers with this or that group of friends. I have long noticed some people just are charismatic, they attract people like crazy. It has always been like this, of course. And I love charming people, too and enjoy hanging out with them. Me, personally, have never, ever been popular, heck I’m not even “rememberable”, LOL.
For those of you who are endlessly in demand socially, what is it like?
I’m sitting here dozing off and on and listening to the quiet and I wonder if it wouldn’t be annoying for the phone to be ringing off the hook with this or that invitation all the time.
Some people are popular and some people just like to post a lot of pictures of themselves. Don’t confuse the relative likability of someone with their facebook head count.
DH would be popular according to your characterization. He has lots of very close friends. He spends a lot of time nourishing and cultivating these friendships. He is always being invited to do something: grab lunch, grab dinner, go to a ball game, go to a play or music event, go on a trip. He also extends many of those same kinds of invitations to others.
I, on the other hand, am a homebody at heart. I have friends, but I don’t work as hard as I probably should to keep them as close as I could because I’m happiest at home, reading or chilling in comfy clothes. When I go out to socialize, it’s usually because DH has organized the outing.
I joke that if DH died, there would be 2500 people at his funeral. If I died, there would be 2525 people at mine. 25 people there for me, and 2500 people there to support DH. 
I don’t think I’m “popular” in the conventional sense, but I have been told that I am good at building communities. I never thought of that as a particular skill, because, well, doesn’t everyone work to create the kind of life you want? In other words, if you want a lot of strong communities around you, then you work to build those communities. You have to carry your share of the load. But as time has gone on, I see what people mean by my talent at it.
I have a few close friends, not a lot. I have a lot of people I would call friends, but we aren’t in constant contact.
I think if you want to be more popular you have to extend yourself, especially as we age. When you have young kids, the other parents on the sports teams or in the orchestra or whatever can be your friends as you spend so much time with them. But once you no longer have those connections, the ones you made either needed to have been strong enough to keep them going once that regular contact ends or you’ve got to be willing to start over and get new friends.
I agree with the poster above about not letting FB deceive you into thinking someone is more than you, or that you are lesser. FB is curated. One funny comment from my kids about FB … a few years ago, I mentioned that so many of my FB friends wished me a happy birthday, and they said, “Yeah, but that’s because you actually know your FB friends!” =)) Goobers.
Too much work. 
I have finally accepted that - at heart - I am an introvert. Can come across very extroverted but it’s not my true nature.
In my observation, people who are constantly doing things with others are generally extroverted and derive energy from other people (of course there are exceptions to this).
I seem to make friends more easily. I have an open house reputation…which is true. Lots of young people come because the invitation is always open. We have 20ish good friends in our age group. Sounds good? Yes. But I have noticed a trait that I really don’t like about me. I will surgically cut from my life a person who I feel has done something that I don’t like. Things that include…hurting one of my kids, making a demand that I feel is not good (like chose me over that family. Insults. I believe this is because in large part I am an “only” child (don’t start) and I am used to being alone and I didn’t have the necessary life skill of letting it go or the ability to compromise and/or apology I don’t gossip about who gets what…the car…jewelry…don’t have time for that nonsense.
I only know 2 FB friends, who aren’t close friends, who seem to just know everyone and are out and about with different groups constantly. I don’t know how they do it, their endless photos doing things makes me feel that I’m not doing enough socializing. However, the majority of everyone else’s is more like mine, really. I do find that I tend to be an organizer and planner, more so the others. I just don’t do it constantly.
What I would like to do is find more couple friends, where all 4 of us really like the other…not just get-togethers where the guys show up because the women planned it, but friends enough for all to want to travel…those kind. We only have 2 we adore. We’ve gone on springbreak with more, but it was more kid centric families, then just a couple.
Great thread. I’m the cruise director in our family. If I don’t plan something, we stay home. Hubby is quiet, which some read as stand off-ish. He’s really not…he’s just not great at small talk.
I have plenty of girlfriends to lynch and shop with, but I do wish we had at least one couple friend.
@shellz, you and your girlfriends sound dangerous. 
@Nrdsb4 BAHAHA!! Yes, we are a dangerous group. Lol
OP, don’t you think your ending sentence is rather telling?
@Nrdsb4 you could be my twin!! My DH is a social butterfly and I am a true shy introvert. I wouldn’t know the first thing about being popular. He has hundreds of people wish him Happy Birthday, and I don’t even have a Facebook account.
Nrdsb and movemetoo, we are triplets. 
My sil seems to have tons of Facebook friends and is forever posting pictures. Honestly, I find it annoying. Instead of enjoying who she is with, she’s taking pictures on her phone and uploading them to Facebook. I’ve been with her when she’s doing this. It’s take a picture, post to Facebook, wait for everyone to post cute fun things.
Give me a break. I feel like it’s inventing fun. What we are doing is fine but is it omg we are having so much fun?
Yea I sound like a fuddy duddy, I know what I am.
I also find that sil has a bunch of friends but they revolve around going to bars and drinking. Or she’s connecting with people she went to junior high or high school with.
I have plenty of friends, and things to do. I’m not putting it out there on Facebook though. I also like spending time alone and with my husband. Neither of us are terribly outgoing although he is more now. (He was very shy when he was younger, sometimes I don’t recognize this social being I have now).
I have lots of girlfriends because I am active in group things - I have a regular tennis game consisting of about 20 girls in one group (we have several courts) and another group who I had been playing with for over 20 years but who now spend the winters in Florida so we “broke up.” But I get to see them when I’m there and we play, have lunch or dinner out (most of their H’s only are here on the weekends) so lots of time for girl time. I have another group of friends I play mah jongg with once a week.
I also have my shopping friends (overlap with both those groups) and my yoga buddy.
I’ve lived in the same town for 25 years and I don’t work and my friends don’t either - so it was easy to meet other SAHMS and get together during the day when kids were in school.
H and I also have 3 couples who I kid that we date.
By the way, DH, who has so many friends, does not have a Facebook page. He maintains his friendships the old fashioned way.
I’m not shy at all, and am usually very comfortable when we are out with friends. I’m usually glad we went out, and admit to DH that I did have fun. But I’m just usually very content to stay home with my DH, cat, dog, books, and computer. It’s rare that I ever initiate social outings. I guess DH has accepted it and doesn’t mind taking the lead.
My daughter is what I guess you’d call a popular introvert. When she’s home, friends are always messaging her and inviting her to do things. She needs a lot of alone time, though, so sometimes she just turns her phone completely off or goes for long walks without it. When she has a friend over, she ignores her phone entirely and just enjoys the time with that person.
I have never been popular, and wouldn’t be able to maintain a highly social lifestyle. I would feel very empty and exhausted and not have the time to do the things that I really want to do.
@VaBluebird, people post on FB what they want others to see. Your friends who post lots of party pictures get their identity from their perceived popularity, so they post lots of group pictures. You’re not seeing the whole story, only what they value and want you to see.
I would imagine that the people who hang on message boards skew more introverted. I spent a lifetime in a family of extroverts. Even now if I’m going out with hubby my mom will ask if we’re going with friends.
I have a few friends who are on a merry go round of parties and socializing, etc. I know a lot of people, I have a lot of connections but not a lot of close friends. Hubby is my best friend. It has hurt my feelings on occasion to see people I think are my friends out doing stuff together and we weren’t invited. I do try and reach out, in fact we’re going to attempt a dinner party in a few weeks with some neighbors.
I’d be exhausted going and doing stuff all the time with people.
I have a lot of friends. I am a joiner and tend to strike up conversations with people.
But I don’t post a lot on FB. I have FB friends who post constantly. To me it would be awkward asking my friends to pose for a picture every time we had lunch or dinner together or whatever. I don’t get that.
Sometimes I wonder if popularity is genetic because popular people I knew in high school begat popular kids who go to high school with my kids.