Popular people get tracked more closely. Everything they say or do is subject to greater frequency of scrutiny and comment. They get put in jail often.
i don’t know if I’m popular or not, but I am outgoing…but not Susie Sunshine outgoing. I am the planner, the organizer. I Vented about a year ago how I’m tired of always doing the inviting for a handful of friends who love to get together when asked, but never take the initiative to reciprocate. The responses were from many introverts saying to continue, don’t take it personal…it’s just not important if they go out or not. Well, I just don’t buy that. How did you feel when asked? I bet that made you feel good. Well, by not asking me even every 4th time, it makes me feel bad, as if I’m not cherished as a friend. Why do that to a friend? Yes, you may still get asked by that friend, but I can tell you that her feelings are just a tiny bit hurt. She wonders if you value her. If you do…then please just pick up the phone…whether you care if you go out or not.
^ I think this is something a lot of introverts don’t get conmama. I am an extrovert and like you, while I do make plans, etc. I do not always want to have the job of initiating things. Thankfully some of my friends also pick up the ball on this, but yeah, it can get old.
^^^ This. It’s not just feeling like no one bothers to ask; it’s also that people make it too difficult to coordinate. I have limited patience to continually try to accommodate the schedules of 10 people. If y’all want to get together then someone else can pull it together. I’ll just keep lunching with people one on one (and then when someone else hears they want to join in). Tiresome.
I’m an introvert, but that isn’t an introvert extrovert thing. I just don’t draw my energy from big events ad crowds.
I’m trying to schedule a dinner party with a few neighbors and trying to figure out a time when everyone can come is making me just want to say forget it. I figure if you’re so incredibly busy you can’t find a night a month out where you aren’t busy then you really don’t want to come.
I’m an introvert and I have a lot of trouble inviting people to get together. I think it reflects my lack of confidence, socially. I don’t want any of them to get stuck with just me if the others can’t make it. (Even though I am perfectly capable of acting like an extrovert.) I have become able to invite large numbers of people to big events (they can all entertain each other and I just have to supply the party.)
I’m just talking one on one get togethers…not group activities. I gladly accept that responsibility. However I havw 2 or 3 friends who I see on a regular basis because I ask. We have a wonderful time. It would make me feel great if asked once in awhile. I’m not going to tell them that, it would be too awkward. I’m just mentioning it here if you see yourself, and to let you know how people like Fallgirl and I feel. That we are not cherished as a friend.
As a child and young woman, I lacked self-confidence in social situations. I have never been popular. I did have the great good fortune of attending a college filled with people like me (dorks, nerds, whatever). After the first few awkward weeks, I became very comfortable socially. I also worked in college (co-op school), and I was very comfortable around my co-workers. Today, I am well-liked at work. I still have a number of good friends from college I keep in touch with, although I don’t hang with them on a regular basis (H and I are home-bodies, for the most part). I continue to be less comfortable outside my circle of peeps, though … I don’t think I have ever gotten over my social awkwardness; I am just fortunate enough to not ALWAYS feel socially awkward!
I am an extrovert that married an introvert. On the outside, people would view my husband as an extrovert because in his work environment, he is very comfortable speaking to anyone. Take him to a party where he isn’t in control and he is completely out of his element. Our life together has largely taken on the shape of his personality.
We have been stung by a couple of " friends " and because of that, I tend to only allow people to get so close . I just don’t trust people to allow them to potentially do what others have done. I am closest to two of my sisters and also my mother and daughters. Also, I am still close to a handful of childhood friends. Other than that, I keep others an arm’s length away.