The whole “this is crying victim thing” is a common refrain when you mention that people have privilege they often do’n’t think about. For some, who come from modest circumstances and are proud of what they did, they see this as a slap at what they accomplished, seeing that as saying “if you made it, if you were poor, rural white and you made it to the upperclass, it was because your were white”, which is not true. For some of the privileged elite who were born with a platinum spoon in their mouth, it is a similar thing, they don’t want to admit that their economic and racial background helped them.
For example, when Paul Ryan in response to people talking about how hard it is to work in a fast food restaurant and then work your way up, said “I worked in a McDonald’s as a teenager”. It is not untypical, but what he didn’t see was that working in the McD’s for him was a way to pick up pocket money (which is fine), but he wasn’t working their to survive. He was going to a prep school, was getting set up to go to an Ivy league school, and had the backing of a family fortune, he didn’t have to worry that if he got sick he would be saddled with bills or not get treatment, he didn’t have to worry that if his car broke down he wouldn’t have transportation to get to work, and so forth. Mitt Romney talked about his early days with his own business, how they had a basement apartment, how their table was a door on two saw horses and so forth, and he made it seem like he started with nothing…while I commend him building a business, it also is leaving out so much he probably didn’t even think of. If he or Anne got sick with cancer, he wouldn’t have had to worry about paying for it, his family was well off enough it didn’t matter. If his car broke down and he didn’t have the money to repair it, his dad would lend him the money. If his business failed and he had no place to live, he would have resources. Not to mention he had the mentoring of his dad, and also a lot of heavy hitter friends, who also would become the core of his business clientele. I am not saying Romney didn’t earn what he has, what I am saying is that he had benefits someone who was poor wouldn’t have, that’s all, and that is what this says.Knowing someone has your back, especially if you are an entrepeneur, is huge, knowing if you want to start a business and don’t have health insurance your wife and kids will have medical care is huge, knowing if something failed you wouldn’t be homeless and on the street is huge, that safety net makes a huge, huge difference.
My problem isn’t with privilege, everyone has various forms of it. If you are born with a good mind, it is an unearned privilege. If your father is a high ranking executive and politician, it gives you access to knowledge and people and financing you wouldn’t have if your dad was a garbage man,it is unearned privilege. If your skin color is white or you are male, there is privilege associated with that. If you have a strong family support network, it is a privilege compared to those who don’t (and yes, there are strong, poor families who aren’t white, stories of the family of a sharecropper where the kids all went to college and professional school are out there, as are many more, and there are rich kids who end up on the slag heap, do nothing but be celebrities and otherwise waste their life. Within a couple of generations of ole cornelius vanderbilt most of his descendents were quite ordinary, for example.
The point isn’t about victimhood, it is to make people aware of how things like success work. Far too many people are like Paul Ryan, who claim that they personify the attributes of the ‘rugged individualists’ and refuse to acknowledge, to use a popular metaphor, that he got home starting life on 2nd or third base. When people say “I made it, so so can I”, they are basically claiming they had no help, that they had no advantages, and it isn’t true. Growing up in an area that is safe, well protected, makes a big difference, my wife was an immigrant who came here as a child with nothing, and grew up in some crappy areas,.and it had negative influences on her a kid growing up in Scarsdale wouldn’t have. A kid who has parents who are college educated, who read books and talk to the kids about issues and such, are going to have an easier time achieving in school and such than a kid whose parents are not that well educated, and so forth. What this is supposed to do is make you aware that not everyone has the benefits you do, that you had things that helped you, and make you realize that it is very easy to look from your own vantage point and not see the things you have had that helped you, that you didn’t earn.
And yes, Oprah’s kids (if she had any) would be privileged, as would the kids of the person from the inner city who made it in business or sports or entertainment, to claim the kids of an economically successful background don’t have advantages over those less fortunate is downright lying. On the other hand, the kid of the black entrepeneur who is driving an expensive car in a ritzy area is a lot more likely to get rousted by the cops, assuming the car was stolen or the kid was up to no good, then a white kid in the same circumstance.
Among other things, being aware of privilege, the things that allowed you to succeed, also means instead of looking at those who are falling behind and saying “you just aren’t trying hard enough”,maybe, just maybe, unlike certain types I don’t have to mention in public life, they can look at these people, the kids of these people, and instead of patting themselves on the back and denigrating the people they are looking at, they can say “there but for the grace of God go I”, and spare some sympathy for their plight, and maybe also look and say “what can I and others do to try and make this work?”. The rich people who endow scholarships for kids in poor areas, the ones who take an interest in kids from rough backgrounds who have a spark and mentor them, those who advocate for programs that can help kids along the path, understand this, but I think if more people looked at themselves and said “geez, compared to them, I had a lot” and even if they can’t help, they can appreciate the struggles others have. Yes, there are people you can’t help, there are people who throw away advantages they have, but to say something like "I made it, so they can’ without acknowledging the gifts they were given, not earned, that helped them succeed, is just plain wrong IMO.