<p>Quote:</p>
<p>Let’s make a list of famous (and famously) arrogant people. I’ll start:</p>
<p>Donald Trump + all of his spawn…
Charlie Sheen<br>
Joan Rivers–perhaps it is her job</p>
<p>Humility. Humanity. And a sense of humor.</p>
<p>Confidence= a quiet, usually unstated, internal belief that need not be shared or made explict but if it is shared it is done so it a humble way. </p>
<p>Arrogance= a loud, external expression that puts down others so that the boaster can gloat in some way.</p>
<p>Just practice these things:
Conversations where you listen 90% of the time, and speak 10% of the time. Ask questions of the other person to make this happen. As the relationship progresses, it will equalize.
When you know you are going to meet someone, think of some questions you can ask about that person to get that person talking. Be genuinely interested in what that person has to say and in that person’s point of view, especially when it is different from your own.
Say: “That’s a good idea.”
If you don’t think that the idea is good, say “That’s an idea.”
Give other people credit. Be loyal to your team, and praise your team members for their efforts.
If you can do these things, you are confident, but not arrogant.
Good luck!</p>
<p>In my own experience, the more truly confident a person is, the less likely he/she is to act with arrogance. People who are secure in their own worth and achievement tend to be kinder, more open-minded, more appreciative of others. Insecurity can cause some awfully arrogant behavior. So I think they’re more opposite than adjacent to each other.</p>
<p>PS-- but anyone who achieves will be accused of arrogance, by insecure others. </p>
<p>What Donald Trump is insecure about I’m not sure, but he does look like a frog, and though he kisses every princess he can find, that doesn’t change. </p>
<p>Maybe I’m just jealous…</p>
<p>If you can back it up with performance…</p>
<p>“Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.”</p>
<p>Frank Lloyd Wright</p>
<p>But it IS humiliating when you misspell arrogance! :)</p>
<p>Confidence is when people like you.
Arrogance is when you **** them off.</p>
<p>"Arrogance: you think you know everything. / Confidence: you know you don’t know everything. " - I liked that. It reminds me of something I often say on work projects, “The more I learn, the less I know…” </p>
<p>The college application process can be uncomfortable for students who have been confident, successful, and modest. They are not accustomed to boasting, and it is difficult for them to judge the best tone for college essays. </p>
<p>It was hard for me to know how to coach my son because I was very proud of his accomplishments but also pleased (and sometimes slightly frustrated) that he rarely boasted of them. Eventually we hired a friend more familiar with college admissions process for essay coaching. That helped him get some traction in the process.</p>
<p>Some of the most brilliant folks I know are VERY open to learning new things and admitting that as much as they know, they are aware that there is MUCH more to learn. Many are very humble, while being very sure about the things they DO know. One of these brilliant yet humble folks is world famous and in charge of a #1 hospital in the US. He’s one of my favorite people–kind to everyone but amazingly brilliant and comfortable in most settings, making an effort to put others at ease.</p>
<p>What is the Fine Line Between Arrogance and Confidence? What Nightshade said and in one word.</p>
<p>Obnoxiousness</p>
<p>Whenever my friends and I get into arguments, they always say I “act like I’m better than everyone.”</p>
<p>But my friends who are similar in rank/etc never say that (and we’re very honest with eachother). What a coincidence. </p>
<p>Whenever I offer to help a friend in a class they take it as though I’m being conceited or something. But like my mom always says, don’t succeed by yourself, help others along the way.</p>
<p>Confidence is trusting in your own abilities. Arrogance is trusting in other people’s evaluation of your abilities.</p>
<p>The word “arrogant” is one that less successful and less knowledgeable people sometimes accusingly label the more accomplished and better-informed to try to diminish them. “Arrogant” is also a word that insecure, follower personality types use to criticize leader personality types who know where they’re going and how they plan to get there. These accusers want to equate their own indecision and uncertainty with humilty, which it isn’t necessarily. People who have learned not to be people pleasers, since you will never make everyone happy so you might as well please yourself or those who matter, are so-labeled too. Their quiet self-assurance is seen as aloof arrogance.</p>
<p>I think a truly arrogant person fails to recognize that a lot of one’s personal success is due to luck and the contributions of others. He thinks he did it all himself–pulled himself up by his own bootstraps. In addition, he assumes that since he succeeded once, he will always succeed because he’s just that good.</p>
<p>I also agree that you have to be careful with whom you share your goals and plans. They should be people who know you well and have your best interests at heart–people who will be delighted to see you succeed. Frankly, there will be very few of these individuals–maybe a parent, but not always even mom or dad will get it. Furthermore, if you have been humble, then most people won’t necessarily know of your past accomplishments and might see your plans as overly-amibitious because they lack context.</p>
<p>Confidence is believing in your abilities and your ideas and having the courage to go forth and do that, despite what everyone says is possible or impossible. At times this can be mistaken for arrogance, if someone feels that the person is doing what they are doing to upstage them, so it isn’t cut and dried.</p>
<p>Arrogance to me is someone who not only believes in themselves and their abilities , but also combines that with an attitude like they believe whatever talents and vision they have gives them the right to look down on others or put off the vibe like they did it all on their own, they never had any help, and therefore no one else’s opinion or ideas matter much. </p>
<p>Difference? In my experience, a confident person generally goes out of their way not to steamroller other people and also realizes that others have something to teach them, and even if they believe the other person doesn’t have the answer, acknowledges that the other person still is valuable to them. The arrogant person is the kind of person, for example, who when they are around another person, make clear they consider themselves superior and the other person, if they dare comment on the person in question, will be treated as an annoyance rather then as someone who might actually know something. </p>
<p>I’ll give you an idea of arrogance at its worst. I was talking to one of the women who if part of the cleaning crew in the building I work in, an older, really nice woman who has some great stories to tell and has seen a lot, very special, enjoy talking to her. She was telling me the other night about an incident, she was trying to grab a garbage pail from a workstation where an admin was working, she simply told the woman 'excuse me, I need to empty your garbage can, I’ll be out of your way in a minute" and the woman basically told her to go away, who the hell are you to ask me to move my legs, your just a cleaning woman". That is an arrogant person, someone who thinks what they are doing is the be all and end all and looks down on others, rather then understands even if they are high achieving, that others have as much value as they do. Bragging is basically a form of this, when someone goes around bragging about what they have done, what kind of job they have, how smart their kids are, whatever, it is arrogance, it is proclaiming themselves better then anyone else.</p>
<p>Cpu-
It is a good thing to help others, but it can also depend on how you help someone that determines how it is viewed. I can’t just your situation, since I obviously don’t know you, but arguing or helping others can be done in ways where the person on the other side makes clear they respect the person asking for help or having a different opinion or it can be done in a way where it comes off as the person not respecting the person being helped/arguing with…</p>
<p>Plus there are some people who resent needing help and lash out…</p>
<p>Another story along the lines of the cleaning woman story…</p>
<p>My daughter rode the bus to her day school and I asked a dad if he knew the busdriver’s name. He asked: “Why don’t you just call him busdriver?” Arrogant.</p>
<p>I thought that if something were to happen on the bus “bus-driver-dad’s” kid might not be the first one the driver looked for.</p>
<p>I asked the busdriver his name.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Although your intentions may be good, the other person might interpret it as your saying that you are doing well in the class and the other person isn’t, and therefore, the other person requires “help.” </p>
<p>If you’re not an established expert in the subject matter, your offer of help can be construed as condescending.</p>
<p>Musicprnt and jazzpark-- I understand what you two are saying. </p>
<p>I never realized that people were so competitive outside of my close friend circle. </p>
<p>Some people actually do ask me to help them in a class, and a lot of people joke around and say things like “can I borrow your brain for today?” or “you’re so smart you make me feel stupid.”</p>
<p>I don’t even do anything (brag, talk about my grades, etc) but I think when I genuinely ask to help a friend they think of those things people say and think that I think of myself as higher than everyone else (which I don’t.)</p>
<p>CPU, I think you stumbled on the difference: it’s whether the person asked for help or whether you offered it. When a person asks, h/she knows the need is needed. But if you offer, it may be that the other person didn’t think h/she had a problem. Just an issue of perception, really.</p>
<p>Maybe instead of offering to help, you could say something like, “So, how are you guys doing on this?” It might sound a little less confrontational to some people.</p>
<p>Jazzpark, I didn’t think of it that way. </p>
<p>When someone asks to help me, I don’t have a problem with that. Or if I do, I’ll say I’ll approach them later because I want to try it on my own some more, not because I think they’re being arrogant (I can tell who is and who isn’t.)</p>