This is my list of what I would expect my children to do by the time they reach 16~20
Make their bed. How hard is it?
Make their own meals when their mom and I are not around. No, ramen and frozen food don't count.
Run vacuum cleaner and do laundries. I don't do laundry when my mom is around because she thinks I suck at it, but I do vacuum cleaners. My apt is small so it takes less than 30 minutes.
Table manners! I hate everyone of all age who smack their lips. I want to flip the the table whenever I see one.
Basic computer knowledge
Neck massage. This one is exclusive to my family XD
Buying HEALTHY and WHOLE food with financial awareness.
Some of these skills, while good to know at 16, can be easily acquired when the kid goes off to college or on an “as needed” basis. When a kid gets a car, they should learn when to take it in for maintenance and NOT to ignore indicator lights or unusual noises. Learning how to manage finances, health care, travel, proper etiquette, nutrition, and things of that nature are, IMHO, best learned under the direct tutelage of a parent. But cooking, cleaning, laundry - that’s all quickly learned when it becomes a necessity. My D never did her own laundry until she went to college. She’s a pro now - even doing separate loads for delicates ;). Some things you just pick up as you go along. And if you can’t reach Mom or Dad, there’s always Google. Being resourceful is the key skill.
Grammar such as not confusing person: Me and X ate pizza or They went with him and I. Misplaced modifiers such as emergencies may close the mall such as storms and lack of electricity. Errors of tense and number and on and on
Yes laundry, cooking, not leaving a sip of milk in the carton and returning the carton to the refrigerator. Putting out trash because it needs to go, not because a parent said to do it, Stop using silly excuses such as yeah I got a bad grade but, hey man, I was wasted all weekend or yes I didn’t turn in my take-home final because I lost the questions. Or, personal favorite, Yeah, I saw the signs saying the bridge was closed. Then went around the signs, onto the bridge and ended up with the front front of the car in the river… “The sign didn’t say the bridge was out.”
Study without being told. Go to class even when you think it is boring. Asking the teacher if she did anything important in the class you missed. Managing time and priorities.
Holding the door for someone who is carrying more than you. Drive more slowly and walk more quickly, especially when going against the traffic light or are cutting across the street diagonally
Turn the cell phone off when in class or in a meeting or other situations that require undivided attention
Sorry about this one. Please don’t toss condoms thoughtlessly. I don’t want them on the sill of my office.
My husband showed me how to change oil when we first moved in together. I told him that was all well and good but I’d have to be much poorer than I’d ever been before I ever did it. He even stopped doing it several years ago. Fewer and fewer places take used oil so it got to be too inconvenient.
My kids do kniw how to check the oil level and add oil. And how to put air in the tires. They also have AAA cards. The one time I tried to change a tire, in my 20s, I was unable to get the lug nuts off. So while I know how to do it, i would call AAA if it came up. I suspect my kids would too.
I started sending them into the doctor alone sometime in high school. They’ve done laundry since middle school. They don’t cook much but they can both make a few things.
Honestly, how to do a load of clothes can be a 20 minute lesson before they go off to school. It’s just not all that hard.
I don’t know how to change oil or fix anything on a car, nor do I intend to learn. That’s what AAA is for and that’s what my car dealership is for. They need to understand that they can’t ignore warning lights, but beyond that, I don’t think car repair is a necessary skill, at all.
I would have initially thought “sew buttons back on” but honestly a drycleaner does that for a buck, so why bother.
Gosh, @mom2collegekids it was necessary in order to keep my dad alive. We all make choices. I’m glad my parents made that one. It’s not like they left me alone to go vacation in Italy for months on end.
I have had my depression under control for most of my life. And by “alone” I meant without my parents. My boyfriend at the time stayed with me. Not that I’d necessarily advocate for that but it is what it is.
I have never, ever been suicidal and things would’ve been much different if I had been.
My kids could do everything on the OP’s list (except car repair). They did not work any part time jobs in high school. My friend’s kids always had part time jobs, but could do almost nothing on the list.
When they had to be on their own? They all ended up fine.
As I’m reading some of these suggestions, I wouldn’t expect a 16 year old to know them…perhaps a young adult, yes, but a 16 year old? Hopefully a novice period is allowed rather than expecting an expertise.
After seeing my mom make her bed since I can remember, when I moved into my apartment she was astounded on how great my bed was made and the folds I made.
In terms of the car, I like the suggestion of not ignoring warning lights. Another biggie is knowing how to pump gas and inflate tires. They need to know what pressure is needed for front and rear tires. Also, we practiced parallel parking when he moved to a city where that was an option.
Travel tips have been mentioned, eg getting to airport on time, knowing how to check in, traveling light, getting a taxi, handling a cancelled flight. I’ve seen adults panic when that happens, but my kid handled it ok. (He called mom to look up other airlines, while he was waiting in line–pre iPhone, and making calls).
Some things take a little nagging, like making dental appointments, finding one’s own doctors, hair cuts.
I agree how to handle navigating an airport, check in, and take public transportation is a very important skill. I’d rate it far ahead of knowing how to repair a car, and frankly even ahead of household cleaning (because that can be picked up pretty easily too in the moment).
<<<
I would have initially thought “sew buttons back on” but honestly a drycleaner does that for a buck, so why bother.
[QUOTE=""]
[/QUOTE]
Well, because when you’re getting dressed in the morning and something that you really want (or must) wear has a button pop off, who has time to run to the dry cleaners to have it sewn back on? It’s a basic skill that should be taught to both S’s and D’s. It’s something that can only take a few minutes if you keep a few needles pre-threaded with white, black, and neutral threads (I do).
While it’s true that some of these life-skills only take a few minutes to teach, the confidence comes when you’ve already done it a few times. I liken it to the person with a newborn. Sure you can be shown how to diaper, feed, burp, bathe, and dress a baby in probably 30 minutes…but it’s only when you’ve done it a few times that you actually feel confident.
And, while it may only take a few minutes to show a kid to “sort colors” when doing laundry, it’s usually only over a period of several attempts that the kid gets exposed to a variety of stains that might need different pre-treatments. Ink stains need a different approach than blood. A greasy food stain needs a different approach than spilled salsa. Chocolate stains are different than mud/grass stains.
How to foxtrot.
You shame all the other guys on the dance floor rocking back and forth like dorks.
And for bonus points: the two step, polka, waltz, swing.
Yes, but unless you actually fly somewhere, which is expensive, you don’t have the opportunity to learn. The security procedures at airports prevent parents from doing dry runs with their kids.
Except for one kid’s childhood trip with a parent to a family funeral, neither of my kids flew anywhere until their senior year of college (when one flew to visit graduate schools and the other flew to interview for jobs). It would have been nice if they knew how to navigate airports before that, but if our family had gone on the kind of elaborate trips that involve flying, there wouldn’t have been money to pay for college.
They’re 29 and 25 now and far more sophisticated about flying than I am. I think it’s OK to learn some skills after 16.
A made bed makes a room look neater even if the desk is piled with papers and the floor is full of shoes and books. My Dd shared a 2-bed dorm room all four years of college and both girls made their beds to help the small area appear less cluttered. Later she shared a house for three years of grad school. Her bedroom in the house was her only private living space, and a room with a made bed was a more welcoming spot for guests to visit. It’s a good habit to have.
Personally, I prefer sleeping in a bed that has been made. Once slept in, sheets can get unstuck, rumpled and uncomfortable, especially if you’re sharing the bed.
Even with AAA, you need to have a basic idea. Just happened to need this service recently, I had to guess what was wrong. Battery out? They send a truck to jump start your car. I mean they ask all sort of questions.