<p>I’m a cup half full person. I almost always see the bright side of things. I mean really…it’s a very cheerful way to be. And you can always build on the positive things you see.</p>
<p>Yes, some challenges are more challenging than others…but even in those, I try to find the one thing that is positive.</p>
<p>I think, though, like the introvert/extrovert difference there are natural tendencies. It’s not all or nothing and every person who isn’t Mr. or Ms. Sunshine isn’t a pity party woe is me downer. Yes, things are what you make of them and attitude is everything and all that but I do think that we start with a natural set point. It’s like our physical selves - you can be thinner or fatter, stronger or weaker, healthier or sicker but you aren’t going to change your basic body type.</p>
<p>I’m sure it’s a combination of nature/nurture, but my H was raised by a very pessimistic mother and he also has a tendency to only see the negatives. He has had to work really hard to overcome that tendency, which we both attribute to his mother. </p>
<p>Me? I had one parent of each (one negative, one insanely positive). They drove each other crazy but provided the balance that the other one needed. And my brother and I turned out fairly “neutral” - neither one or the other. Interesting!</p>
<p>My parents were both pessimists. It made me see what a terrible way that was to live so I have worked hard at not dwelling on the setbacks but concentrating on the sunshine in my life. My dad asked me just the other day how I can remain so cheerful during times like my serious and life threatening health condition. I responded that there are some things in life I can do nothing about, so why worry about them? For the things I can control I look at what i can do positively and when a setback or problem occurs I focus on the good. For example, yesterday my son and his wife were having an argument. Some would stress, or meddle, or worry. I realize there is nothing I can do about it and it will probably disappear by morning so instead thought about the fact that I get to babysit my grandson this Saturday. It’s only a little thing, but helps keep me happy.</p>
<p>This does not work for all. Of the four siblings in our family, two are optimists and two are pessimists. Don’t know if the pessimists don’t see what they are doing or just can’t help it. My husbands parents were also pessimists. When we considered a third child, his mother’s response was “you have two healthy children, why tempt fate.” Seriously? My husband and his siblings are all pessimists. I have to work hard to ignore his negativity. When someone asks me how I’m doing, my response is to assure them I’m fine and things are wonderful. His is to go on and on about every little ache and how badly he’s been sleeping. I don’t even ask any more.</p>
<p>But as with a lot of other things, unless you realize there is a problem and want to change, things will remain the same. I can’t make my husband an optimist but I can do something about my natural tendency to become like my parents.</p>
<p>I was raised by the most pessimistic mother on the planet. I sometimes think that is the reason for my optimism.</p>
<p>My mom is a cheery optimist which sometimes seems very tone-deaf. I am a realist. But, not unhappily.</p>
<p>Both the cheery optimist males in my household are going camping this weekend (not together). Guess which one actually has camp sites reserved . . . the one who was raised by mildly “half-empty” mother (me) who suggested that he’d better look at the online reservation system to find the 2 tent sites in the entire state that aren’t already booked for Labor Day weekend. DH and his fishing buddy are on their own. The kid has an itinerary planned and 2 ideal camp sites booked and paid for in his name with confirmation emails printed because someone was able to convince him that it might be more relaxing and fun than just showing up and hoping for the best. ;
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<p>I like being a “realistic optimist.” I plan and try my best to anticipate things and then just know that I can improvise for things I can’t control–weather, bugs, fickle people, etc. Going with a wing and a prayer makes me nervous and uncomfortable. I see not much to be gained by it and potential for significant disappointment. I rather overplan and having “magical thinking” and expect that things will magically fall into place just because it suits my plans and convenience. I’m still firmly a glass is half full person.</p>
<p>Thanks for those who contributed. I am fascinated by this subject. It’s always interesting to me to see which way a person leans, especially when it differs from spouse and/or environment one was raised in. </p>
<p>Late to post, but I think it is a mix of nature/nurture. </p>
<p>I was born with a positive outlook, despite being a worrier. My mom and the grandma who lived with us were both very upbeat. My mom is a hard-work-conquers all sort, with a dose of spirituality (not exactly religious). My grandma was relentlessly positive. Even as she lay dying of cancer, she was pleasant and grateful. I think she had good brain chemistry, plus a dose of more religious spirituality. My dad was more of a pessimist, but not in all areas. He’d call himself a worst case scenario realist I think. In that household, if something bad happened to me, I would cry and be sad, but then pick myself up and carry on. Thinking back, I was pretty brave about trying new things and weathered failures pretty well. </p>
<p>One of my kids is very optimistic, the other less so, but on balance an optimist. </p>
<p>I wonder if some of it is cultural. My husband and his family are less optimistic and they are not American. I think American culture is very optimistic. </p>
<p>JMHO, but I think the cynical, glass half empty people are often moody and/or depressed people. </p>
<p>I come from a glass-half-full family, while H comes from a glass-half-empty family. My family has no history of depression, while H’s family has serious depression/moody issues with a number of members. </p>
<p>Not all people on the half empty side of the spectrum are cynical. That’s like calling people who are more introverted than extroverted “sociopathic”</p>
<p>Another IMO “from birth” continuum that I’ve noticed with my kids is “game” vs “hesitant”. My pragmatic introvert is game for almost anything. She has a kind of can-do attitude about things. My extroverted sunny side up boy also has a first blush “no” response. He takes time to warm up to things and always has. When he was a toddler you could have asked him if he wanted a pony or a puppy and he would have said no before eventually reconsidering.</p>
<p>Hard to decide just what is optimism/pessimism or half full vs half empty. I consider myself half full, but I am totally pragmatic, too. Before any big decision I like to consider the worst possible scenario to ensure I am prepared to live with it, then I am fine. I think of DH as a half empty, and yet going into anything big, he thinks of all the wonderful ways the situation could work out, then when it doesn’t, he is so bummed.</p>
<p>I think of half full being the end result, the basic outlook on life. For me, that is dealing with the reality of what happens and finding the positives, not being ever hopeful and then sad.</p>
<p>I feel happy with every day little things, nature, family, etc. & I feel like that is an underlying half full, to just be basically happy each day.</p>
<p>My parents were mostly worriers, not full or empty, but worried that glass would spill!</p>
<p>Ha! Love that! Maybe that’s me . . . half full but worried and taking precautions to prevent spillage. </p>
<p>OK, H says I’m a worrier, and I guess he’s right because I like to “overplan,” to enhance that chances that everything will go smoothly and we won’t have some situation(s) that cause us great angst. I tend to think of what could go wrong and plan ways to keep that from happening and hope for the best. I am rarely disappointed and most things go rather smoothly.</p>
<p>I do try to “prevent spillage” as well. Seems to be working pretty well.</p>
<p>I am pretty sure that the overly pessimistic view of my folks was the result of their experiences as
immigrants–both left their country of birth under very difficult circumstances. That seemed to color their views, but it didn’t stop them from moving forward and accomplishing their version of the “American Dream.” I think the only thing about which they were positive was their kids. I think it is hard to be a parent if you are a pessimist and/or a cynic.</p>
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Ha! Love that! Maybe that’s me . . . half full but worried and taking precautions to prevent spillage.</p>
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<p>That would probably best describe my parents, siblings and me. </p>