<p>Here’s some pointers on what NOT to do during a shadow day and tour at a boarding school.</p>
<ol>
<li>DO NOT act like you know everything about the school because you had a sibling come</li>
<li>DO NOT cut off people when they are explaining something to you</li>
<li>DO NOT complain about how bored you are, or how small the umbrella is that your shadow person gave you and is using their history textbook to shield themselves when walking to another building.</li>
<li>DO NOT tell the person who you are shadowing that you don’t want to come to the school</li>
<li>DO NOT roll your eyes at everything the person who you are shadowing</li>
<li>DO NOT do something bad then tell a staff member it was the person you are shadowing so they get demerits</li>
</ol>
<p>Don’t do any of these things, because the person who you are shadowing will go to the Admissions Officer (who they may happen to be very close to) and they WILL tell them that they think you are not a good candidate for the school. </p>
<p>It’s also just plain rude. And my umbrella was a pretty big umbrella as well. </p>
<p>@ccnaf14 - Sounds like you had a good day… As long as we’re talking about what NOT to do:</p>
<p>Parents: PLEASE DO NOT drill your (Senior) tour guide about what colleges they’re applying to ( and make the tour about that ). It’s OK to ask questions about the College Placement Office or College Placement but grilling a stressed out senior about his/her PERSONAL business isn’t cool. One prospective parent had my kid up against the wall last week … even AFTER he politely shared the colleges he toured last summer, what his major will be- AND highlighted what the College Placement office offers ( to students/parents) along with groovy matriculation stats. Seriously- what else do you need to know for your incoming FRESHMAN? </p>
<p>Hint: Most Seniors aren’t sharing where they’re applying ED with anyone- including their roommate and best friends. </p>
<p>I hope prospective families know that tour guides report back to admissions… and their opinions do matter. Just go easy with the college interrogation tactics, enjoy the tour and learn about the school. </p>
<p>Most definitely what photographermom said, and I would add, no asking about SAT scores, etc.</p>
<p>More DO NOTs:</p>
<p>Prospective Parents:<br>
Don’t monopolize the tour asking all your own questions while your child shrinks from notice.<br>
If you are an alum, DO NOT assume that things are the same as when you went there 20 years ago and monopolize the tour with “back in the day” comments. Let the tour guide talk about how it is now.
Don’t wear inappropriate shoes for the tour. Leave the Manolos at home and wear a nice flat or, preferably, some nice weather appropriate boots. </p>
<p>Prospective Students:
ASK your tour guide questions!
Don’t make sexist/racist comments. (Yes, this has happened on tours given by my child.)</p>
<p>Parents, don’t feed your kid questions. I was in an admission waiting room and this girl, who would be a sports recruit, was sitting between her mom and the coach of her sport. Mom was like, “Come on, tell him what position you play.” And then “Come on, tell him why you like that position.” </p>
<p>Question - (I think I know the answer before even asking, haha, but here goes.)</p>
<p>Is it okay to have a snack during the visit? Obviously not during the interview, but between things. One of the schools on our list requires an audition, in addition to the tour and interview, for entrance into a special program. Our visit runs 11-1, with the audition at 1. I’m concerned that the audition may not be its best due to hunger. Don’t want to reschedule, since we’ve gone back and forth a couple of times with the AO and don’t want to appear too high maintenance. Lunch can wait until after the audition, but is it okay to have a quick snack?</p>
<p>@momonymous I guess why not?
We once arrived at the school 12:30 for 1pm appointment with no lunch. Failed to find an eatery in the middle of no where. The reception told us to go ahead and eat at the dining room so we got to try the BS food. So if you have time, perhaps you can try school cafeteria? You can call and ask the receptionist? Not AO if you don’t want to ask the AO again? Or you can bring a cooler and run to the car and have a quick snack. </p>
<p>That shadow was really the worst one I’ve heard of. The Director of Admission’s pulled me to the side at dinner and asked me what I thought about the applicant. I did not lie about how I felt or the behavior she had, because at the end of the day, I wouldn’t want someone like her coming to the school that I now love.</p>
<p>All good advice. Also be careful of name dropping. Several years ago the headmaster of my Ds prep school mentioned that he just finished interviewing our “good friend’s daughter”. Ha. That b—thy women and her mean-girl spoiled duaghter were no friends of mine…</p>
<p>I remember I gave a tour to a group of students (along with their respective families) at my school. Many of them were competing to see who could ask the ‘better’ question or who could walk closer to me. The family members were also giving excessive compliments on how I looked that day. </p>
<p>In short, I found that tour very tense and disturbing. It just shows the lengths as to what the applicants and their families would reach to ensure a positive review from the tour guides or a place in the acceptance pool.
<strong>FYI, tour guide reviews carry little weight in the admissions process</strong></p>
<p>I’ll add a few for the student guide…
Do NOT abandon your student in the library because you have something you want to do without them.
Do NOT gossip about the prospective student someone else is taking around.
Do NOT talk about how wasted you got in your room before last week’s dance. </p>
<p>That’s true, the admission decision does not rely on that very much. It hardly matters. It serves as a purpose to get to know the perspective student better. But, at least at my school (Saint James - Maryland), we have a community here. I know it sounds cheesy but our AO’s look carefully at how the student reacts. </p>
<p>All the schools I know rely on feedback from tour guides. Obviously, tour guides don’t have the final word but what they say definitely has value and their observations are noted. </p>
<p>Most AO’s enlist their best and brightest students to take prospective families around- Why wouldn’t their opinions matter? </p>
As long as we’re talking about what NOT to do:</p>
Or you can bring a cooler and run to the car and have a quick snack. </p>